Season 7
by electrons
Summary: This is a sequel to Season 6. The senior partners are down but not out. AI must stop their plan to return to the world while fighting the scoobies, Illyria, and the demons within themselves, all while Angel adjusts to his new mortality. The first manipulates the heroes in a number of gambits designed to make them destroy themselves. Some succeed. On hiatus for Nanowrimo
1. Those Who Have Died

Wesley was approaching the buffet when he was stopped dead in his tracks by the sight of the one person he had been sure wouldn't show up to his wedding though he would have loved for her to. "Cordelia," He walked up to her and gripped her hands. She grinned.

"I didn't get you a gift, sorry."

"Yes you did. How are you here?" He asked

"I had to come." She looked behind him and wiggled her fingers at someone

Fred gasped and ran over when she saw Cordelia waving at her. "Cordelia," Fred whispered "I can't believe you're here."

"It's your wedding." Cordelia grinned at them. "Are you happy?"

Fred entwined her fingers with her new husband's. She was almost glowing. She was the epitome bride in her long white gown, the fairy tale ending young children dreamed about. She had a shiny gold ring on her ring finger to signify she'd knit her soul to someone else's. "I am, of course I am." Cordelia believed her. Cordelia tucked a strand of Fred's hair behind her ear.

"I can see that." Cordelia turned to the groom. "How about you?" She asked Wesley

"I've never been happier."

"Well I just wanted you both to know how glad I am for you." Cordelia beamed at her blissful friends. Two soul mates, both had come close to losing their souls at times. Cordelia had done all she could to protect them, Angel, Conner, and Gunn. But she couldn't control the future.

"Want some cake?" Fred asked "It's delicious chocolaty goodness."

Cordelia shook her head. She knew how long they had. What if she told them? Was there even the slightest chance it would do any good? Was that the real reason she had come? But no, she was going to let them have this happiness for as long as they could. "I'll have to pass on the chocolaty goodness. I just want to say congratulations and wish you the best for the wonderful future you have together." Fred threw her arms around Cordelia. Fred could sense that Cordelia was not human anymore. Her old friend projected a warmth. It felt like a pleasant summer day.

"Thank you for being here."

Cordelia hugged Fred back. "Thank you," Cordelia said

Fred was going to ask what Cordelia was thanking her for but Cordelia pulled away and hugged the groom. Cordelia didn't want to let go. She didn't want to release her old friend. She wanted to say a million different things to the man that had been closer to her than anybody except for Angel. She wanted to tell him she was sorry. She wanted to say she missed him. There were so many things she wanted to say that she couldn't get a single one out. So she just let her hug say all of them for her. She heard him whisper in her ear. "I know what you did."

She whispered back "You two look after each other."

They pulled apart. "I promise." He said as she faded away

Fred put her head on his shoulder. "She didn't say hi to Angel or Gunn."

Wesley put his arm around her. "They'll be all right."

"I guess everyone really did show up." Fred said "Except for Conner,"

"Yeah, it's a shame he was too busy with school."

Fred pulled her husband back out to the dance floor. They danced among their friends and family. They danced, talked, and laughed. When the reception came to an end they made their goodbyes and headed to the home they had made together.

One Year Later

Angel felt Buffy shift position next to him as he lay awake in bed, prolonging the moment when he would have to wake up. He grinned to himself. "Pancakes?" He asked

"Chocolate chip," Buffy mumbled "With extra syrup,"

Angel rose out of bed and grabbed his robe. He bent over his girlfriend and kissed the top of her head. He put on his bedroom slippers and then headed into the kitchen. Dawn was sitting at the counter sipping a cup of coffee. "Pot's on the stove." She told him

"Thanks," Angel poured what was left of the coffee into two mugs.

"Great," Andrew shuffled into the kitchen and picked up the mug Angel had poured for Buffy. Before Angel could protest Andrew had taken a big sip. "Umm, warm,"

Angel clenched his fist as he assembled the ingredients for pancakes. Buffy entered the kitchen with a yawn. "Oh is there any more coffee?" Angel wordlessly handed her his mug.

Dawn shared a look with Angel, who shrugged. "So Buffy," Angel said when Andrew had walked out of earshot. "How's the whole telling Andrew to get lost thing going?" Angel crossed his arms and gave Buffy his best stern look. It wasn't very stern when directed at Buffy, but she got his meaning none the less. "Is that going anywhere?"

Buffy sighed. "I'm working on it."

"You've been working on it for eighteen months." Dawn chimed in

"Thank you Dawn." Dawn raised her mug in solidarity as a response to Angel's thanks.

"He's going through a rough time." Buffy said "And he cleans, a lot, I hate cleaning."

"I'll clean." Angel said in exasperation "Dawn will-"

Dawn cut him off. "Wow, wow, wow, hold up; leave me out of this."

Angel gave Dawn the stink eye. "Thanks Dawn," He said, sarcastically this time

Dawn raised her mug again, mockingly this time. "What I'm here for,"

"Buffy," Angel said "This is getting ridiculous."

Andrew reappeared. "Oh Angel I forgot to give you your mail yesterday." Andrew handed Angel three envelopes. Two were junk mail, but one was from Fred and Wesley.

"It's so nice of you to get the mail Andrew." Buffy said pointedly

"And forget to give it to me," Angel mumbled under his breath as he threw the junk mail on the table and then tore open the envelope from Wesley and Fred.

"Is it another sonogram?" Dawn asked "Let me see," She put her mug down and ran over to Angel. He handed her the black square she had correctly surmised was in the envelope. Angel pulled out the letter and polaroid that were the rest of the envelope's contents. A very pregnant Fred was waving at the camera. The back of the polaroid said in sharpie '**T-3 weeks!**'

"I would never let someone take my picture when I looked like that." Buffy said

Dawn rolled her eyes as she examined the sonogram. "She's pregnant Buffy."

"And fat," Buffy protested "Why would you want photographic evidence that you were once fat? Plausible deniability, if there's no evidence no one can prove it happened."

"There aren't many skinny pregnant women." Dawn protested

Buffy put her arms in the air in surrender. "And what's with sonograms anyway?" Buffy continued "I mean the baby just looks like a bunch of squiggly white lines. It's silly,"

"Geez Buffy," Andrew said "If you hate babies so much why are you going to be the godmother?" Andrew peered over Dawn's shoulder at the sonogram.

"I don't hate babies." Buffy was affronted. "I just think they're loud and smelly and not as cute as everyone says and okay, maybe a little bit."

Angel chuckled. "If Fred heard you talking like that she might take back her offer."

"Do you think she would?" Buffy asked excitedly

Dawn gave her sister a good natured shove. "You should be honored."

"I am." Buffy said sincerely "I really am." She told Angel "I just don't get why she asked me. Why didn't she ask Anne or Faith, okay not Faith." Buffy backpedaled "But someone else,"

Angel smiled. "I think she thought you would be offended if she asked me to be godfather and didn't ask you to be godmother." Angel explained "Don't worry, you'll be great."

"Yeah," Andrew said "And you don't even have to do anything unless they die… again."

Dawn sniggered while Angel read his letter and Buffy rolled her eyes. Angel was halfway through the letter and vaguely aware that Andrew was pouring the pancake ingredients into a mixing bowl when he heard a thump and the sound of milk spilling on the floor. Angel looked up and saw Andrew standing in an ever-widening puddle of milk next to Buffy and Dawn while all three of them stared at the figure standing in the entrance to the kitchen. Angel had never met the woman, but he had heard of her, seen pictures. Her name was Tara.

"Buffy," Dawn's voice crackled with emotion as she grabbed her sister's hand.

"How…" Buffy couldn't say any more than that.

"Buffy," The woman said "How nice to see you, and so chummy with one of the people complicit in my murder." Tara stepped into the kitchen. "Dawny, how you been? Forgetting me?" The woman smiled kindly, but the kindness was hollow, false. "You have forgotten me."

"No, never." Dawn said

"Does love mean anything to you? Even if your sister were the doomed party I don't think it would faze you for long. You bounce right back, so selfish, so uncaring."

"No," Tears streamed down Dawn's face.

"It's the first." Buffy realized "It's playing games with us again."

The figure transformed into the visage of Buffy herself. "Clever girl, thinks she can save the world. Stupid girl, thinks she can save herself. But you'll die and take the world with you."

"No," Buffy said "We stopped you and your disciples." Buffy insisted

"They will rise again, it is foretold."

"That's impossible, they're dead." Buffy said "I killed one myself."

"That which is without form is not bound to a single body. It is the cause of the lower beings' feeble mortality that they are bound to such breakable things. I would not allow such weakness among my students. You killed a body, nothing more; nothing of consequence."

"How will they rise again?" Buffy asked

"That would be telling." The first said, still wearing Buffy's appearance "Still, we are old friends. Do you really want to know?" The false Buffy grinned at the real one.

"I do."

"Very well, then I have a gift for you outside." The first disappeared

Andrew backed up, out of the kitchen. "No, no, no, it can't be back."

"It's okay Andrew." Dawn said in a listless voice, clearly unconvinced herself

"No," Andrew said "It isn't. The last time the first was here-"

Andrew stopped talking when Buffy marched to the front door and threw it open. An envelope was sitting on the welcome mat. She picked it up. "Maybe you shouldn't-" Dawn began, but abruptly changed tune when Buffy ripped the envelope open. "Listen to me." Dawn finished in an aggravated voice "What is it?" Buffy bulled a piece of old parchment from the envelope. There was writing on it in some ancient language that Buffy was unfamiliar with.

"I should show this to Giles." Buffy said "I'll send him an E-mail." She headed into the room she shared with Angel to get her laptop. "He should be able to translate it." She called from the other room. Angel opened the broom closet and pulled out a mop.

"How did the first get it there?" Andrew asked "He's noncorporeal."

"One of those creepy eyeless guys must have brought it." Dawn shivered. "I hate to think of them in our building. I hate to think of them at all." She locked the door.

Angel set to mopping up the floor. "Buffy will handle this, we'll be okay."

…

Gunn knocked on the thick metal door. Conner called out from the other side. "It's safe."

Gunn undid the latch and pushed the door open. He stepped inside the bare room to where Conner was chained to the wall. The boy was covered in sweat. The four thin white scars that still hadn't faded after eighteen months stood in contrast to his pink feverish skin. Gunn set the tray of food in front of Conner. "Can I get you anything?" Conner shook his head. "Conner-"

"Please," Conner cut him off. "I'm tired, please don't ask me again."

Gunn hesitated, but pushed ahead anyways. "Your dad would want to-"

"Soon, not yet."

Gunn sighed. "If there's anything you need-"

"I just need the quiet." Gunn wasn't offended, he knew noise and light exacerbated Conner's condition. "I'll be okay today I think, I don't think it'll happen tonight."

"I hope not." Gunn said

"Thank you," Conner said "For everything."

Gunn left the boy to his food. He made sure to latch the door on his way out. It wouldn't do for Conner to have an episode tonight and get out into the hall. If one of the kids saw him it would cause all manner of problems. "Poor kid," Gunn turned and saw something that made him lose all strength. His knees turned to jelly and he grabbed the wall to support himself.

"Alonna?" He asked

"It's a real shame."

Gunn struggled to his feet. "What is this?"

"Where were you when mom and dad died? Where you when I died?" Alonna stepped closer to Gunn and held her hands up while looking toward the ceiling. "Where was the great Charles Gunn when all his friends died? Were you too busy getting mental upgrades to be bothered by their petty problems?" Alonna smiled at him, she looked so much like his sister. "I have a theory about that by the way. I think you knew what would happen when you signed that piece of paper. I think you wanted to punish her for discarding you and choosing that puny little Englishman over you. You wanted to see her suffer," Alone got in his face and glared at him with pure hate. "And bleed. You wanted her to weep, to pay for daring to hurt you."

Gunn began to cry. "I would never."

Alonna raised her arms and let them fall to her side. "Then why does everyone around you die? Are you just that incompetent?" Alonna searched his eyes. "Is that it?"

"What are you?" The tears dripped down his face.

"I'm your sister."

"No, you can't be. My sister was kind and go-"

"Your sister is a figment!" The monster screamed "She is an ideal! You don't remember her. That's what you liked so much about Fred, that she fit that feminine ideal you pigeon hole women into. She was virtuous and good. She was pure and innocent. That's why you were so desperate to keep her from killing that professor. You wanted her to be an idea. You wanted her to stay clean for you, not for herself. But she didn't appreciate what you did for her and you were angry. Perhaps that's justified. Perhaps she deserved to die, her and her unclean mate." Alonna licked her lips on the final syllable. "You're too good for them." Alonna watched Gunn shake and heave with sobs. "What's the matter big brother? Isn't all of it true?"

"Charles?" Gunn heard Anne calling him. He looked up and Alonna was gone. Anne was coming down the hall towards him. "Charles what's wrong?" She ran up to him and knelt in front of him. "Baby talk to me." He pulled her into an embrace and sobbed into her shoulder.

"It was awful."

"Shhh, baby shhhh. I'm here, it's all right." She squeezed him tight.

…

The very pregnant Fred sat on the couch snuggled up to her husband eating caramel corn and watching a highly inaccurate science fiction movie. "Space doesn't work like that."

Wesley chuckled. "I don't think the director really cared."

"Even if they shut off the machine the radiation doesn't just magically dissipate. And either way the radiation they'd already been exposed to was in high enough levels to cause cancerous growths later in life. They shouldn't be so excited about merely prolonging their slow painful deaths." Fred reached into the bowl and discovered the popcorn was gone. "Hm,"

Wesley took the bowl. "I'll get some more."

"But you'll miss the ridiculous contrived solution." Fred said

"I'll live." They shared a sweet smile and then Wesley headed into the kitchen. He pulled a box of popcorn from the cupboard and was peeling the cellophane of a pack when he heard a scream. Wesley dropped the glass bowl on the ground where it shattered. "Fred?"

Wesley ran into the living room where Fred was still sitting on the couch, trembling with terror as she stared at a man Wesley knew was dead. It was her old professor, the one that had sent her to Pylea. The man chuckled. "Hello little girl, what are you so afraid of?"

Wesley ran over to his wife and helped her to her feet. He pulled her close to him in a protective embrace. His analytical mind started running through possibilities for what this could be. "Who are you? What are you doing here?" Wesley could feel Fred trembling.

The man ignored Wesley's question. "What's that growing inside you?" Fred buried her face in her husband's chest, hiding from the dead man. "Is it a tumor or a parasite? Is it some disease you'll have to have cut out?" The man chuckled. "Or maybe it was once a sweet innocent baby tainted by the cold blue that lingers in your body. Maybe you damned that innocent baby."

"Whatever you are you aren't welcome here." Wesley said

"You've been spending too much time around vampires." The dead professor said "I often go where I am not welcome. Especially to places like this, where people hide."

"We're not hiding." Wesley wasn't sure why he was explaining himself to a figment.

"You're hiding from yourselves and what's inside of you. You think you can outrun it but you can't. The ice inside that woman will freeze that baby to death. In time it will take her as well. As for you, there is a darkness in you. There is evil within your bones, savagery in your blood. You would tear her to pieces if the fancy overtook you. Do you think you're a good husband, that you will be a good father? You're no better than your own father and your child will hate you just as much as you hate him. She will curse your name." Wesley shivered upon hearing his greatest fear so easily laid out before him. "But you already knew that."

"You're a liar." Fred whispered

The figure transformed. It now looked like Fred, only this Fred wasn't pregnant. It looked much like Fred had when she had died. Wesley began to formulate a theory. "No, I speak hidden truths. Let me tell you about your baby. Your baby will be deformed and ugly." Fred gripped Wesley's shirt, her eyes were squeezed tightly shut. "She will be mocked and scorned. All who see her will hate her for ruining their view. You will hate her. You will belittle her and ruin any chance that she might be confident or happy. Just like your daddy did to you. But that is but one possible future. Let us say then that your daughter is pretty. Men will look at her and desire her in their beds. You will be afraid of her sexuality and throw around unjust accusations. And because you accuse her of being a whore she will become one. Or maybe your daughter will be sickly and burden you with emotional and financial woes. Oh how many possibilities there are for how you might let her down. But there is no future where you do not." The fake Fred grinned at Wesley, a frightening mockery of her real grin. "You aren't fit to care for a child."

"I know what you are." Wesley said in a trembling voice "You're the first."

Another transformation and the figure became Wesley himself. "Do you think your friend didn't realize you were taunting him? You stole his child, you hurt his family. Why shouldn't he do the same to you? Why shouldn't he cut that baby out of your pretty wife and drown it?"

Fred began to sob. "Make it stop." She begged

"Come on, let's get out of here." Wesley led her toward the front door.

The figure transformed into Buffy. "If you really loved that woman or her baby you'd shoot her in the head right now." Wesley instinctually pulled Fred closer.

Fred cried out in pain. For a single panicked moment he thought he had hurt her on accident, but when he saw her double over in pain he knew what was happening. "It's time," She confirmed "Oh God," She almost fell to the ground, but Wesley supported her.

"Come on, we just need to get to the car."

Fake Buffy giggled. "Wait and see, you'll wish you'd killed her long ago."

Wesley ignored the monster in his house as he helped his wife to the car. He ignored its laughter and blocked out its taunts. He thought only of making sure his baby got delivered safely.

…

Robin finished typing an E-mail to the school board to get one of Faith's slayers enrolled in the GED program. He rubbed his eyes and turned his swivel chair to face the door. Right now he wanted a nice relaxing bubble bath. Maybe Faith would be interested. When he removed his hands from his face he saw his mother standing there. Robin stared slack-jawed. "Mom?"

"My baby boy, all grown up and carrying on with my good work. I'm so proud of you."

Robin rubbed his eyes again, but she was still there. "Are you…" He didn't know what he was thinking. "You aren't real." But he did now that much. "You can't be."

"I'm as real as you want me to be baby. I'm always with you."

Robin shook his head. "I don't understand."

"Neither do I. I don't understand why you fought alongside the monster who killed me. I don't understand how you can let him go on living, but I trust you have your reasons."

Robin continued to stare, uncomprehending. "What are you doing here?"

"I just want to make sure you don't lose your path." Nikki explained "You know where your path is don't you? You know your job is to protect the slayer line, to serve Buffy."

"Yeah, I know."

"This is your place."

"Yes, it is."

Nikki shook her head and sighed. "You say that now, but you're weak. You'll turn tail and run the second a single sacrifice is asked of you. I know you little boy."

Robin squeezed his eyes shut tight. "No, this is my place, my duty."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," A tear slipped from his eye. "I'm continuing your good work, I won't let you down." He opened his flooded eyes. "I swear I won't let you down again mom."

"No matter what it takes?" Her voice was hard and demanding.

"No matter what it takes." She disappeared. Robin looked around the room and wondered if any of what he'd just seen was real. He heard footsteps.

Faith entered the room. "Hey babe, did you take care of that- what happened?" Faith walked up to him and put her hand against his cheek. "Are you all right, what happened?"

Robin shook his head and pulled her closer to him. She sat on his lap and kissed him. Her tongue explored the different corners of his mouth. He reached under her shirt and felt the scar on her abdomen. A demon's horns she'd said. He traced its length. "I love you." He whispered

…

Xander sat on the couch holding his third beer. The phone rang. If it was Willow he couldn't miss more than one call without her being worried. Had she called before? It was best not to risk it. "Are you going to get that or what?" Xander looked at the other side of the couch, where Jesse was sitting. "It's kind of rude to ignore people." Xander shrugged. So he was asleep then, had probably passed out on the couch. "Of course it's also rude to forget people."

"I never forgot. I dreamt about you, all the time." Xander mumbled

"Well now that's kind of gay."

Xander snorted. He took another sip of beer. "Do you remember…"

"Yes, I remember everything. I remember that you let me die. I remember that you let Anya die. I remember what a pathetic failure you were. You let us all down. Buffy kept letting you hang around though. It must have been some kind of self-esteem boost or something."

"I thought about you all the time."

"You don't even remember me. I'm just a name, a dead kid. There were so many, how could I hope to stand out? You and I were meant to be just name in the obits. We were always destined to be cannon fodder. You though, you dared to aspire to something greater. Xander Harris, he walks with heroes. He dated the great Cordelia Chase. He befriended a slayer and the most powerful witch in the western hemisphere. You walked in their shadows, but such long shadows can be dark places. Now you're all alone, alone in the dark, with me."

Xander took another sip of beer. He closed his eyes, blinking away a few tears. "I missed you Jesse." Xander drew his hand under his nose, wiping away snot. "I didn't forget."

"You did, and now you've been forgotten."

"No, they didn't forget me. They love me."

"Do you love them?"

"Yes," Tears were now streaming down his face.

"Is that why you're sitting here in your apartment getting plastered?"

Xander rubbed away more snot and tears. "It's so hard."

Xander blinked again to clear his vision and when he did Jesse was gone. But now Anya was standing right in front of him. "I love you so much. You were my best friend and I was willing to spend the rest of my life with you. All I wanted was for us to be happy together."

"I love you Anya, please forgive me." Xander reached for her but she stepped back.

"You let me die."

Xander nodded, openly weeping. "I did, I'm sorry, so sorry."

"Don't let them die like you let me die." She vanished.

Xander put his hands to his face and let the hot tears scald his skin. The phone rang again and Xander picked it up. He tried to compose himself. "Hello," He listened to the speaker at the other end. "Whatever you need I'm there. I'm your guy Buffy."

…

Lorne lay awake in bed. Teresa's rhythmic breathing next to him let him know she was asleep. Lorne froze when he heard a soft familiar voice begin to sing. "The sky's gonna open. People gonna pray and crawl. It's gonna rain down fire. It's gonna burn us all. The sky is gonna open. People gonna pray and sing. I can't feel - a thing."

Lorne sat up, slowly. Teresa didn't stir next to him. "Lindsey," Lorne whispered

The man who had softly sung stepped closer to the bed and Lorne could see it was indeed Lindsey. He was wearing that confident smile Lorne remembered so well; not as well as he remembered the outraged surprise of the man's last moments, but that would haunt him for eternity. This confident smile was almost as horrible. "Hello Lorne, how have you been?"

Lorne tried to give a light-hearted chuckle. "Good, you?"

"Dead, but you already knew that. Did you enjoy it?"

"You know I didn't." Lorne knew Lindsey was talking about when Lorne shot him.

"Do you want to do it again?"

"I would never, not for all the world. It almost killed me last time. Never again,"

"Then run Lorne." Lindsey said "Run, because blood is going to rain from the sky. Head for the hills. Take the girls with you. Start over and leave this place behind, because this is a house of death." Lindsey enunciated the last few words. "There are only corpses here."

Lorne blinked away a few tears. "No,"

Lindsey held up his hands in surrender. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you."

"Warn me about what?" Lorne asked

"You're tainted Lorne. You're a killer now. You can never escape it."

"No," Lorne subconsciously reached for the hand of the girl lying next to him.

"Yes. Yes Lorne you-"

Lindsey was interrupted by Teresa gasping and sitting bolt upright. "The first!"

Lindsey disappeared as suddenly as he had appeared. "That was the first." She gripped Lorne's hand. "It's evil. It tells lies and makes them sound true. It knows nothing about you."

Lorne put his head in the crock of his shoulder and closed his eyes. "It's over now isn't it? Our year of peace has come to an end." She put her arm around his shoulders and squeezed.

…

Spike sat at the bar with a drink in his hand. He was exhausted from his fight with a nest of vampires earlier. Harmony was equally tuckered out and had gone to bed. Spike poured himself what he decided would be his last drink and knocked it back. He sighed and slammed his palms down on the bar. He stood up and turned to head for the basement stairs. He found himself facing Drusilla. "Hello love," Spike whispered "Are you some crazy fever dream?"

She chuckled in that way that was unique to her. "Have you missed me?"

"Not so much pet, I'm over you."

"Oh," She sounded curious.

"I'm over the whole thing, passionate love. I need a break. I was exhausted. It's nice to be able to just play around." He gave her a knowing look. "Harm's great for it."

"No love for anyone?" Drusilla asked "Not even the slayer?"

"She doesn't need me."

Drusilla transformed as she spoke her next words. Her hair turned blond, her neck developed a scar. "I did." Kate said "But you weren't there. You didn't save me."

Spike backed up and hit the bar, sliding to the floor. "You aren't her."

"Because she's dead. Because you let me die. Why do you always let the women you love die? Drusilla, Buffy, me? Who else are you going to forsake? Buffy again?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you going to let her die again Spike?" Kate asked, but it was more of an accusation

"Of course not."

"You're a liar."

Spike reacted as if he'd been struck. "I won't let anything hurt her." Spike said

"Promise?" Kate asked

"I promise." Spike answered

She disappeared and Spike stood up. He sat down at the bar and poured himself another drink. A little while later Lorne came stumbling down the stairs. Spike could tell from his shaky steps that he'd seen something as well. "Spike," Lorne said "Something is happening."

"I saw it too." Spike poured two more drinks and held one out for Lorne.

…

Willow smiled as she sat cross-legged on the floor in front of the couch. Kennedy sat on the couch behind her, braiding Willow's hair. "My baby has got such nice fingers." Willow said

Kennedy kissed the top of Willow's head. "My baby has got a nice everything." Kennedy kissed Willow's neck right over her pulsating carotid artery. "She's so nice." Kennedy licked the section of skin under her lips. Willow's eyelashes fluttered. "She tastes like candy."

Willow giggled, but her joy was put to a swift end when she heard a whistle. She looked over at the doorway to the living room in their apartment. Warren was standing there. "I'm getting all excited girls." He sniggered "You've got me all hot and bothered."

Kennedy jumped to her feet. "You! You're the man who-" Kennedy clenched her fists.

"Who… But of course expecting a stupid woman to complete a sentence is a little much."

Willow stood up and put a protective arm around Kennedy. She struck out with her other hand, sending a wave of energy toward Warren. It went right through him without ruffling a hair on his head. "What are you?" Willow asked "An astral projection? A construct?"

"I'm a ghost." Warren said "I'm your ghost."

"What are you talking about?" Kennedy asked

"I saw what you did in L.A. I saw you kill that woman. What did she do to you to deserve such treatment? Her death was even more painful than mine." Warren shrugged. "You deal out death so easily child. Maybe you were just bored that day." He clapped his hands together in excitement. The sound was like firecrackers and made Willow jump. "Who's next?" He put a finger to his lips. "Hmm, let's see… Buffy? No, too much of a finisher. You need an appetizer to get the ball rolling. How about murdering your love interest? That's a good start of darkness."

"Whoever or whatever you are," Willow said with strength and finality "You need to go."

"Maybe you should use one of the clichés. Do one of those cartoon evil things that allow the audience to know you're for reals evil without us having to lose a character we've spent all this time developing. You could kill a puppy or a baby. I suggest baby, puppies are old hat."

"I said leave!" Willow sent another useless wave of energy toward him.

"Calm down my child."

"What did you call me?" Willow said in a low angry voice

Warren became Buffy. "I called you my child, because you are."

"The first," Willow whispered "Of course,"

The thing that looked like Buffy walked further into the room. "You're one of mine. You came to me, and I do not intend to let you go so easily. You will return to what you were."

Kennedy lunged forward, but fake Buffy disappeared. Willow sat down heavily on the couch. Kennedy turned around panting. "Are you okay?" She asked

Willow nodded slowly. "I'm all right." She picked up the phone and began to dial Buffy.

…

"Same old Rupert,"

Giles looked up from the heavy tome on his desk to see the woman standing in his office at the new watchers council headquarters. He decided he was dreaming. "Jenny,"

"You and your books, you'll never get into the twenty-first century."

""What are you…"

She smiled at him. "You let me down."

"Yes I know, I think about it often."

"With what happened, it's as if you killed me yourself. You know that right?"

"Yes," Giles said

"You won't make the same mistake again will you?"

Giles shook his head. "No, I look after the girls. I make sure they're safe."

"Especially Buffy?" Jenny asked

"Yes," Giles said "I watch after her."

"You won't let anything or anybody hurt her will you? Not like you did me?"

"No," Giles insisted "I won't let anything hurt her."

"Or anybody?"

"Or anybody," Giles said "I'll keep her safe." Jenny disappeared

…

Buffy stood at the pay phone outside her apartment and listened to Giles read out the translation of what he said was an ancient prophecy. "This prophecy is the original text of a prophecy that has been lost since it was written. I've verified its authenticity. A demon known as Sahjhan rewrote the prophecy, for reasons that are apparent. The text tells of the end of the world. It speaks of three vessels and how they will be known. The first vessel will be born to those that are dead and breed in defiance of nature." Buffy clutched the side of the booth. Was this why Giles had insisted on her leaving the apartment and calling him back? "You will know him when he grows to manhood and kills the demon Sahjhan." Buffy's grip on the phone booth tightened. "The second vessel will be the successor to one that has died but will be called when her forebear is not dead." The edge of the phone booth broke off in her hand. "You will know her when she kills the last of the line of those born to watch those born to slay." Buffy squeezed her eyes shut and rested her head against the telephone. There was silence at the other end.

"What does it say about the third vessel?" Buffy asked

"The third vessel will be born to those who have died but are dead no longer."


	2. But Are Dead No Longer

Fred was lying down on the back seat of their car trying to regulate her breathing. "It's too early." She said in a panicked voice "Something's wrong."

"Only a couple of weeks," Wesley said "She's going to be okay."

"Something's wrong." Fred put her hands on her bulging stomach.

"Everything is going to be fine." Wesley assured her, more because he thought that was his job than any actual belief he had that it was true "We're almost to the hospital."

"Why was it there?" Fred asked "What did it want?"

"I don't know." Wesley said

…

"I'm not sure that we can trust Angel." Giles said over the phone

Buffy stood in front of the payphone, staring at the ground. She was having trouble processing all this, but stoically going ahead anyway. She knew what she needed to do and had instructed Giles on what he had to do. But his last statement gave her pause. "We can."

"They're his son and his friends." Giles said

"I know, but Angel's a big boy, he knows how these things have to go."

"Does he?" It was a loaded question.

"Just call Willow, I'll call Xander and Robin."

…

Faith lay in bed, completely nude, listening to Robin's short noncommittal responses to Buffy. Her name when he picked up the phone had been the only thing he'd said so far besides yes and no. It was strange. Faith started to get dressed. She sensed that something was off. Robin came back into the room as she was putting on her socks. "What's up?" She asked

"Nothing," He said "I love you." He sat down next to her and began to kiss her neck.

She pushed him back, gently. "Don't lie to me. We don't do that, remember?"

He nodded. "I do." He bit his lip and looked away. He took a moment and then looked into her eyes. "Do you trust me?" He asked as though the world depended on her answer

"You know I do."

"Sometimes I wonder." Faith reacted as though he'd slapped her, recoiling and staring at him with a mixture of disappointment, sorrow, and anger. He looked away again.

"How could you say that?" Faith asked "After everything we-" She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. She stared into the hall, just trying to avoid looking at him.

"I do love you." He said

She whirled around to face him. "You just don't trust me?" Her anger and confusion was palpable. She glared in accusation. "Why? Have I ever given you a reason to doubt me?"

Robin rubbed his eyes. "The world's a confusing place." Robin said "Sometimes things get all mixed up. Sometimes I…" Robin paused for a few moments. "I have to just do the best I can. I love you, and I want to be with you. But if I can't have that, I guess that's just the way-"

Faith didn't let him finish. "What is this? You're breaking up with me?"

Robin shook his head. "No, I-"

Faith was distracted when hands grabbed her from behind and pulled her arms behind her back. Her assailant moved quickly and Faith's loud argument had kept her from hearing the man sneak up on her. She felt metal cuffs snap on her wrists and reacted using her honed slayer instincts. She kicked the man back and spun around. She fell back and pulled her hands over her feet, bringing them in front of her. She jumped back up. All of this took mere moments. She clasped her hands together and dealt the man a powerful blow to the head. "Xander," Faith was momentarily stunned when she realized who had attacked her. Robin gripped her shoulders from behind. She struggled as Xander headed for her with a taser in his hand.

"I don't want to use this." Xander assured her "It's best if you cooperate."

"What is this? What did I do?" Faith felt her heart pump at an accelerated pace. She began to flashback to cops chasing her, the sadistic men who worked for the watchers council attacking Angel's basement, Buffy stabbing her. She had thought she was done with being chased. By all appearances that wasn't so. She kicked Xander's wrist and the taser went flying into the air to land behind him. Xander backed up to retrieve it and Faith spun around and kneed her lover in the groin. "Why?" She asked "Tell me what this is about."

He fell back onto the bed. "Faith this is for your own good as well as the world's."

A taser made contact with her neck. Faith felt the jolt and hit the ground. She heard men talking. "Good you're here." Was that Xander? "You missed the fight, but you can help us carry her to the car." Who were they talking to? "Yeah she did give us a little trouble but-" Faith blinked and saw Xander hit the ground, clutching a broken bloody nose. The blood spilled onto his black eye patch and she saw a hand reach for the keys on his belt. Faith struggled to bring the world back in focus. Robin headed for the third man and Faith tripped him. He landed on the ground at the feet of… Angel. Faith brought herself to sitting position and watched Angel grab Robin's shoulder and shove him out of the room. Angel kicked Xander in the gut. Angel reached for Faith's hands and undid her cuffs. She grabbed his shoulders and pulled herself to her feet.

"Are you all right?" He asked

"What-" Angel grabbed her hand and ran. She followed without further question, grabbing keys and her wallet from the table by the door on their way out. They ran down the stairs of the apartment building she lived in with Robin, had lived in with Robin. They headed for the parking lot. "I thought you were in Italy." Faith said "I also thought Xander was in-"

"Which one is yours?" Angel asked

Faith headed for her car. "Australia, and that he wasn't an evil psycho." She unlocked her car and got in the driver's seat while Angel go in the passenger's side. "Care to explain that one?" She asked as she cranked up the car "Because I generally don't enjoy being attacked in my own home by my boyfriend and a guy that is supposed to be my friend." Faith peeled out of the parking lot at a breakneck speed. Angel pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. "Angel?"

"One second," Angel dialed a number that Faith knew. He put it to his ear and tapped on the glass impatiently. "Wesley," He finally said "When you get this call me back. It's an emergency." He hung up and dialed another number. His tapping was even more impatient this time. "Fred, I need you to call me as soon as possible. It's very important."

"Angel," Faith whispered intensely "Please tell me what's going on."

Angel dialed another number. "The first paid us a visit."

Faith felt her blood run cold. "Why?"

"Faith there's something I- Anne do you know how to get in touch with Conner? His number hasn't been good for a- Anne? Anne?" Angel shook the cell phone as though that would cause her to speak up. "They're already there." Angel threw the phone at the dashboard where it clanged against the windshield with a loud clacking sound that was reminiscent of gunfire.

"Is Buffy doing this?" Faith asked

Angel ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah," He drew in a deep breath and then let it out all at once. "She is. She had Willow teleport us to different locations. Willow and Kennedy are going after Conner. Buffy is- You're infected Faith. When the Ram stabbed you in L.A you…" Angel hit his window, hard. If he still had vampire strength Faith was pretty sure it would have shattered. "Conner should be safe. She doesn't know how to get to him, hell I don't even know. She'll have gone to Gunn and Anne to see if they know where he is. Hopefully they don't. Hopefully he isn't even in L.A. anymore, he's on some school trip or…" Angel put his face in his hands. "I thought something might be going on with him, it seemed strange…"

Faith nodded. "Him missing the wedding, stuff like that."

"He kept being busy. I figured young man, we live in different countries. I didn't think, but I thought maybe…" Angel slammed his hand against the window again. "Maybe this whole time he's been getting sick. This whole time he's been in trouble and I was too blind-"

Faith reached out and grabbed his shoulder. She gave it a squeeze of solidarity. "Stop,"

Angel nodded. "There's more. I'll tell you I promise, but I need a minute." Faith nodded and allowed the car to succumb to silence as she barreled down the road without a single care of being pulled over. She decided she would wait until Angel was ready to ask him to explain. This had all been so overwhelming and even processing what she had just found out would take some time. Just a few minutes ago two people she trusted had attacked her. Faith didn't trust people easily. There were few she would ever consider trusting and for that reason she's thought she could let her guard down around the few she had bestowed that honor to. Faith supposed she'd been wrong. Faith passed a sign heralding the approaching turn-off for the highway. She would give Angel the time he needed, but there was one thing she needed to know. "Texas or L.A.?"

Angel frowned. "I… Wes and Fred didn't pick up, they have no idea what's coming. It's possible Conner isn't even in California. If he is Gunn knows and might be able to get a warning to him. Conner is a pretty capable kid…" Angel picked his phone back up. "Texas," He said

"It's the right call." Faith assured him "Conner is a lot more able to defend himself against a slayer than Wesley is able to defend himself _and_ his pregnant wife against one."

Angel nodded. "I know one other person I can try."

The tapping was gone which Faith took as a good sign. Angel sighed with relief when the person at the other end picked up. "Roger, it's Angel. Yeah, listen this is really important. Do you know where Fred or Wesley are? The hospital?" Faith almost jerked the wheel. Her mind was filled with horrifying images of- "She's in labor." Faith breathed a sigh of relief. "Isn't she early? Yeah, I guess these things do happen. Anything supernatural going on?" Faith could tell Angel was mimicking Roger's own question to stall for time. She locked eyes with him and he made a decision. "Yeah, it's really important that I talk to one of them; are you on your way to the hospital? Of course, sorry; when you get there can you ask Wesley to call me? Thanks, and if you see anyone there that was at the wedding, don't ask in front of them, wait till you're alone. I know. Thanks Roger. You have a great day too, congratulations on your granddaughter." Angel hung up the phone and breathed a heavy sigh. "We'll see what happens."

"Why do you have his number?" Faith asked

"Roger?" Angel shrugged. "Fred's parents are really cool."

"Just please tell me you aren't Facebook friends." Faith said with an eye roll

"I don't have a Facebook."

"Thank God for small miracles." Faith teased

Angel let out a heavy sigh. "Okay, so what happened is this…"

…

"We should call Angel." Anne was sitting at the front desk of the homeless shelter they owned and ran. They had built this building on top of the site of the old Hyperion. Their home and offices were on the top floor. Gunn was sitting on the edge of the desk, having just told her what had happened. "We should tell him everything." She added "He needs to know."

"Conner doesn't want his father to know." Gunn said "We need to honor that."

"What about your friendship with Angel, do we honor that?"

Gunn fidgeted uncomfortably. He averted his eyes toward the sign by the front door. It welcomed any entrants to the Sunrise Shelter. Anne had picked out the name. "Conner is an adult." Anne rolled her eyes but Gunn kept going. "He can make his own decisions."

"And we can make ours. Angel needs to know Conner is sick and he needs to know that something is trying to get at him" Anne insisted "You know I'm right."

"We don't know for sure that's why whatever that was…" Gunn wilted under his girlfriend's glare. "Okay, we probably do, but this-" Gunn fell silent as two women entered the building. He realized it was Willow and Kennedy. How odd that they would be here.

"Anne, Gunn," Willow said "Have you seen Conner?"

Gunn shook his head with practiced ease. Have you seen Conner? Have you heard from Conner? Often he wanted to say yes he had, but his promise stayed him. This time though there wasn't that temptation to reveal the truth. Something told him he wouldn't be helping anybody if he told Willow where Conner was. "What's up? Did something happen to Angel?"

To Gunn's relief Willow shook her head. "Angel's fine."

"Good, well what-" The ringing phone cut Gunn off.

Anne picked up the phone. "Hello," Anne smiled. "Angel- what's wrong?" Willow threw out her hand and Anne went flying. The phone's handset slipped from her fingers and she hit the ground with a thump. Gunn jumped off the desk and ran toward the witch but was halted by a jab to the throat by Kennedy. Gunn fell to his knees, gasping. Willow walked over to Anne and pulled her up, standing her on her feet. "What-" Willow put a finger to Anne's lips.

"Shhhh," The witch said "I'm truly sorry about that, but we need to find Conner."

"We don't know where he is." A dazed Anne said

"Do you know who might? Friends? Relatives of his other parents? Someone?"

Anne shook her head. "We haven't seen him in a while, I swear."

Gunn pulled himself to his feet and Kennedy shoved him back down. "What about you?"

Gunn rubbed his throat as he lay sprawled on the floor. "What is this? Why are you doing this?" He pushed against the floor to rise again but Kennedy kicked him in the ribs.

"Kennedy," Willow said as Gunn fell on his stomach with a moan. "That isn't needed."

Kennedy nodded. "Sorry, I just thought getting the kid was top priority."

"Why?" Anne asked, still held in Willow's grip "Tell us."

"Conner is sick." Willow explained "He-" She saw Gunn and Anne exchange a look. "I see, you already knew that. Which means you know where he is. Tell us. It's for his own good."

"So you can beat him up too?" Gunn asked "I don't think so."

"I'm really very sorry." Willow assured him. "But people are in danger. I can help Conner if you just tell me where he is." Willow let go of Anne. "Is he in pain?" Anne nodded in confirmation. "I can make it stop." Willow told her "Is he here?" Anne hesitated "He is."

Gunn shook his head. "He's not, we don't-" Kennedy smacked him. "Oomph,"

"Charles," Anne ran for her boyfriend and Willow didn't stop her. "Please, I'll tell you where he is if you promise not to hurt him or Charles anymore. I'll tell you everything."

Willow nodded. "That's all we want."

"There's a vacation cabin his parents had a time share in. He went there. I don't remember how to get there, but I might have the address in my address book."

Willow nodded. "Okay,"

Anne walked over to her desk and opened a drawer. She pulled out an address book and flipped through the pages. "Here it is." She handed the book to Willow.

"Thank you." Willow said "Have a nice day." She left, Kennedy following close behind.

Gunn stood still, panting, waiting for them to be gone. Once outside the door they blinked away in a teleportation spell. Anne rushed over to him and wrapped her arms around him. "What the hell was that about?" She asked "Willow and Kennedy… We know them."

Gunn shrugged. "I think maybe we should call Angel back." He started toward the desk and stopped. "But first we need to get Conner out of here." Anne nodded in agreement and the two headed down the hall toward the thick metal door to Conner's room. They called it a room, though it was really a prison. It was where Conner kept the beast growing inside him.

…

Fred gripped Wesley's hand tighter. He either hadn't realized how strong she was before or pregnancy really did give you super strength because it hurt, a lot. Wesley looked at his wife's pale sweaty face. She looked like she was in a lot of pain. He felt a pang of misplaced guilt. She was lying on the hospital bed trying to go through the breathing regime they'd learned about at the birthing classes. The doctor and the nurse were whispering in the corner and Wesley was feeling something akin to utter terror. "This isn't supposed to happen." Fred said

"I know." He reached over with his free hand and brushed away some sweaty strands of hair. "But it's only a couple of weeks. You'll both be fine."

"Three weeks," Fred argued

"Two and a half," Wesley countered

Fred laughed through the pain. "Keep doing that."

"What?" Wesley asked

"Being obstinate, it's distracting."

Wesley took a moment to think. "You were wrong about how to spell colour."

"It's c-o-l-o-r." Fred insisted "We won the war and the freedom to choose how we spell things. Plus the right to not drink your horrible tea." Fred added

"You only won the war because you cheated." Wesley said

"We used superior tactics." Fred said "Our generals were better."

"Because they cheated."

"You used guerilla warfare in Pylea." Fred reminded him

"To free the slaves, not avoid paying my taxes."

"We freed the slaves… eventually."

"Britain outlawed slavery in 1833, America didn't do so until 1865; point for Britain."

"I object." Fred said

"To what?"

"Not having a good comeback for that." Fred squeezed her eyes shut. "Why does having babies hurt so much? I mean I know how the biological process works, but why should something so necessary for the continuation of life hurt so much. It doesn't make sense."

"I'll write a complaint." Wesley assured her and then brought her hand to his lips

Fred squeezed his hand still tighter. There was definitely going to be a mark there. "Do you think my mom felt like this when I was born?" She asked

"I imagine so."

"I should write an apology letter."

Wesley leaned forward and kissed her sweaty brow. "I don't think she minds."

Fred locked eyes with him. "I'm scared." She whispered "What if it comes back?"

"It won't." He promised

"You're just saying that." She admonished him "It could come back."

"It can't hurt you, either of you. It's noncorporeal." Wesley said

"It can hurt us. It did this. This wasn't supposed to happen. It isn't time."

"Shhh, the doctors know what they're doing. You're going to be fine."

"What if it's me?" Fed asked in a panic

"What are you talking about?"

"What if there still are pieces of her in me. What if it's too cold in there and our baby wants out. What if she's hurt? What if the stuff in me hurt her?"

"Shhh," Wesley kissed her again. "It's gone, she can't hurt you again or our little girl."

"But the first said it did, and quit shushing me. I'm not acting crazy. It could be true."

"The first is a liar and a manipulator." Wesley told her "There's no reason to listen to it."

Fred shrieked in pain. The doctor rushed over. "Another contraction?" She asked

"Uh-huh," Fred said

The doctor smiled. "That's good." She said "You're doing great."

…

"The Wolf and Ram aren't really dead." Angel explained as the unchanging landscape ran by his window. "We killed the forms they took when they crossed over, but not before they transferred their essences into vessels. The vessels are human beings."

Faith nodded, unable to react emotionally. "Me and Conner,"

"The Wolf scratched him, and the Ram stabbed you."

"I remember." Faith touched her abdomen. The scar still tingled. It always did, without respite, but she'd grown used to it. "So they're inside us."

"I'm unclear on how it all works." Angel said evasively

"So they are." Faith said with a nod "Just be honest."

"I am." Angel said earnestly "This is all so crazy. Buffy came back to the apartment after talking to Giles and said we had to bring in the people listed in the prophecy. She asked me if I could back up Xander and Robin. I told her we should just talk to you, but she said we couldn't take the risk. It was obvious to me the first was manipulating her, so I just went along with what she was saying so that I could stop Xander and Robin. Buffy will see reason when this is over."

"Yeah," Faith said "Just like last time."

Angel flinched. "This is different." He knew she was referring to the events in L.A. when Buffy had tried to kill Faith after the Wolf convinced Buffy Faith was a traitor.

"Doesn't matter," Faith said "I shouldn't have brought it up. B and I declared even stevens about the whole thing. But I don't intend to let her tie me up like a dog."

"Nobody wants that." Angel assured her

"Except the guy I thought loved me." Faith said bitterly

Angel didn't know how to reply to that so he just fell silent. He considered saying he was sorry, but he doubted that would faze her much. He considered reminding her of the first's power but that excuse would ring hollow. He looked out the window at the trees. Were Wes and Fred all right? Had she delivered her baby? Was Buffy there? Too many unanswered questions.

…

"You look nervous." Wesley jumped out of the uncomfortable hospital waiting room chair and whirled around to face the slayer. He forced himself to relax. Buffy smiled at him.

"Buffy, what are you doing here? I thought you were in Italy."

"I had to come to the states for business. I thought I'd stop in and say hi. When I heard Fred had gone in to labor I had to come by and give you my congratulations."

"Thank you," Wesley said evenly, concealing his breakneck paced heartbeat. "That's very kind of you." Wesley looked behind her at Dawn. The young woman was watching him with an utterly emotionless façade. "Hello Dawn."

Dawn forced a large smile onto her face. "Congratulations Wesley."

Roger stood up from where he was sitting next to his wife and clapped Wesley on the back. "Yep, our Wesley's a father now; or near enough at any rate."

Wesley nodded. "Shouldn't be long." He looked into Buffy's eyes. Did she know he knew? She had to know about Angel by now, but it was plausible to think Angel hadn't been able to get a hold of them amidst all the chaos. If only the first hadn't shown up and caused Fred to go into premature labor. They could have just ran. But that was far from an option right now.

"I figured you'd be in there with her." Buffy said

"Well when the doctor asked me to leave I figured it was best not to argue. This is her job after all. But I assure you there is no where I'd rather be than with my wife right now."

Patricia put her hand on her son-in-law's shoulder. "Don't worry. Women have been having babies for a long time. We've gotten pretty good at it."

"Right, I'm not worried. Well that's a lie I'm terrified." Wesley left out that the thing he was most terrified of was standing in front of him. "But that's natural right?"

"Roger had a panic attack when Fred was born." Patricia said

"That's true I did. That was the happiest day of my life when I met my little girl. She's just about the best thing that ever happened to me along with my wonderful wife."

Wesley watched his in-laws smile at each other in that knowing way old married couples have, with a look that told a hundred stories. He knew exactly what Roger was talking about. He would die before he let anything happen to his wife or kid, and with a deranged slayer in the room that death was a very real possibility. Wes needed a plan, preferably before his daughter was done being born. He was reasonably confident Buffy wouldn't make a move until then.

…

"I don't believe it, we've been had." Willow said as she and Kennedy finished examining the cabin. "Conner was probably at the shelter the whole time we were talking to them."

Kennedy nodded in agreement. "They're long gone by now."

Willow sighed in frustration. "Buffy isn't going to be happy." Willow pulled out her cellphone. "I've got a feeling Faith got away as well. It takes a lot to put her down."

Kennedy nodded in agreement. "Maybe we can catch them on their way out of town."

Willow finished her call and put the phone to her ear. "Xander did you-Yeah no luck here either. How's Buffy doing? In labor? Yeah definitely best to wait. Good luck. Thanks." Willow hung up the phone. "You're right." She told Kennedy "Let's start back at the shelter and see if we can track them from there. Faith's gone by the way, her and Angel."

Kennedy flinched. "I doubt Buffy is taking that well."

"I agree." Willow said "He's a dangerous variable."

"He's human now." Kennedy reminded Willow "He won't stand much of a chance against any of us. I'm surprised he even got the drop on Xander and Robin."

"Faith had a lot to do with that by all accounts. A slayer is hard to pin down, even when you take her by surprise. She gave the boys a good beating and Angel finished them off."

Kennedy shook her head. "We'll get them." She said

"I hope so, the fate of the world depends on it."

…

Conner leaned against the passenger door of Gunn's truck. He shivered. Sometimes he was hot, and sometimes he was cold. Nothing really eased his discomfort. It hadn't been this bad at first. Three months after L.A. he'd caught a flu that wouldn't go away. A few months later Wesley and Fred got married, and Conner was still sick. He'd moved in with Gunn and Anne who promised to make up an unconcerning lie for Angel. Back then they all still thought he was just sick. About seven months ago he'd moved into the room he now occupied. A month after that he'd stopped leaving it. A month after that the chains had become necessary. Now he was out of the room for the first time in six months, unshackled for the first time in five months and he was terrified. He was terrified the monster would wake up and take over. The world was so unfamiliar when the monster was in control. Colors were different. His senses were foreign to him. Whenever he woke up after the monster was in control he always felt sicker, weaker. He knew there would come a day when he wouldn't wake up. That's why he'd kept it a secret from his dad. He didn't want to make his dad watch him turn into this thing. He didn't want to make Anne or Gunn have any part of it either, but that was unavoidable. They didn't know the whole truth, but soon they would. Soon they would realize what he was becoming. Then what?

"Conner," Anne spoke his name from the other side of the bench seat where she was driving. It had gone unspoken that Anne was driving because Gunn wanted to be between her and the boy that turned into a beast, but they all knew it anyway. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Lock me up." Conner said "As soon as you can."

Anne frowned. "Where do we go?"

Gunn shook his head. "I don't know, east?"

Anne shot him a murderous glare. "Good idea," She said sarcastically

"Northeast? We can't go to Wes and Fred's, Buffy is there. We can't go to Faith's, she's on the run. If we meet up with Faith and Angel, or try to go help Wes and Fred, we risk putting Conner in a dangerous situation. We need somewhere safe to stash him." Gunn looked over at the boy to make sure he wasn't offended by the phrasing but Conner just nodded. He wanted that too, even more than they did. He knew how dangerous he would be if he changed.

"What about New York?" Anne asked

Gunn shook his head. "I don't know if we can trust Spike."

"Lorne is there." Anne said

"That won't stop Spike from calling up his old flame to give her the 411 on our whereabouts. Spike isn't exactly the president of the AI fan club if you know what I mean."

"I think it's our best option." Anne said "I think we can trust him."

Gunn sighed. "Hell I don't have a better idea. Who's up for a road trip to the big apple?"

Conner groaned. "It's too far. I won't make it."

Gunn gripped the boy's shoulder. "You'll make it."

Conner nodded. He had to, or Gunn and Anne would die. If he had to use up every ounce of will power he possessed he would make sure he didn't hurt them. Even if it was the last thing he did in this world he would keep them safe from the most dangerous monster around, him.

…

Panting with exhaustion Fred watched the doctor hold up a baby. Fred was in shock. Was that her baby? Was that the little girl that had been growing inside her for ten months? She heard a voice from far away, the doctor maybe? "Do you want to hold your baby?" Fred wanted that more than anything. She reached out for the child. The girl was so tiny and fragile. Fred was afraid she would break. She cradled the child in her arms. "What's her name?"

Fred looked up at the doctor and grinned. It was the classic Fred grin, big and sunny and full of unabashed joy. "Her name is Cordelia." Fred told the doctor

The door to the hospital room opened and Wesley stepped in. He looked at his new daughter for the first time and he took on that boyish demeanor she saw when he was really truly happy without doubt or reservation. It was her favorite of all his expressions. But when he got closer and knelt down by her bedside to get a closer look at the newest member of his family she saw something creep into his eyes. She felt her heart skip a beat in fear. He moved even closer to her and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Something happened, we have to go."

She looked over at the doctor, who was watching them. Fred kissed Wesley on the cheek and then spoke loud enough for the doctor to hear. "I love you too." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "What happened? Does this have anything to do with the first?"

Wesley subtly nodded. "It's Buffy. Dawn is here too and there might be people I haven't seen. The first is manipulating them or something to that effect. We have to leave."

Fred held her brand new baby closer to herself. Something was happening, something dangerous. Her new child was in danger. Wesley reached out to touch the new child, and that was the perfect word. She was full of newness. Fred knew that this was what innocence was. She wanted to protect her and keep her safe from anything that might tarnish her newness. She looked at Wes and knew he wanted that as well. He wanted that just as much as she did, which seemed impossible, because she wanted to protect this baby more than she had ever wanted anything in the entire world. How could he feel as strongly as she did? But she knew he felt all of that. She knew he felt the love and the need. She leaned forward and kissed him. "You're going to be a great dad." She assured him "You are." She kissed him again.

He stared into her eyes and that smile was back, doubtless and pure. "She's so tiny." He said "I didn't realize how tiny she would be." He suddenly became concerned "Is that healthy?"

The doctor walked over with her clipboard. "At a robust nine pounds and eleven ounces your new little girl is well within the healthy range." She patted his shoulder. "Don't worry."

"Right, no worries." Wesley echoed "There's nothing to worry about." Yet even as he spoke, even as he looked at the new life he'd helped create, he was very, very worried.


	3. Sanctuary

"Can this thing go any faster?" Angel asked when he had hung up the phone after talking to Gunn "We'll never get there at this rate." He was agitated. Gunn had said Conner was safe and they were going to New York. Angel had reluctantly acknowledged the validity of this plan. But when Angel tried to press Gunn for more information the man became evasive. Angel in turn had become edgy. There was no one to take that out on except for Faith.

"I'm going twenty miles an hour over the speed limit." Faith said calmly

Angel sighed and rubbed his face. "I'm sorry. I'm freaking out."

Faith nodded. "I get it, me too." She was so accepting of Angel's behavior because she was also holding in barely constrained panic. She couldn't endure the thought of Wesley's new baby being brought into the world just to be snatched away as part of some demon's plan to end that world. She couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to him or his family. Faith pressed a little harder on the accelerator. "Buffy won't try anything before the baby is born."

Angel nodded. "Of course not, no matter what effects the first is having on her she would never do anything that might kill an innocent child." Angel said

Faith stared at the road ahead. It never seemed to change, the distance between them and their destination appeared to stay constant. She knew it was just a trick of the mind, but it was a damn effective one. "I hope so." Faith blurted out without meaning to

Angel stared at her. "She wouldn't. Buffy… Buffy isn't the kind of person to..." Angel turned back to the window. "We were really happy together, I don't know what happened."

Faith nodded. "Me either, as far as me and Robin are concerned. I guess a part of me always knew it wouldn't last." Angel flinched and Faith felt a twinge of guilt. "But things are different between you and Buffy. You guys are soul mates or whatever. I'm sure when this all blows over you'll find a way to work it out. I mean you got past her sending you to a hell dimension after running you through with a sword. This is nothing compared to that."

Angel slowly nodded his head. "Thanks for trying to be comforting."

"Emphasis on the trying huh?" Faith asked

"Ye-ah," Angel said "But it was a really good try."

"I'm sure it'll work out." Faith said again "But if it doesn't I'm single now." She said in an attempt at levity "Come on Angel; that was funny. Laugh a little."

Angel gave Faith a slight chuckle. "You're right, everything will work out."

"That's the spirit." Faith said

"Yeah," Angel saw a road sign proclaiming the distance they had to go. "Yeah,"

…

Fred gasped when she saw the window to her hospital room open. Faith jumped through the opening. "Faith! Wh-" She stopped when the slayer put her index finger to her lips and shook her head. Faith walked up to the door and peaked through the window. "Say something."

Faith grabbed a wheelchair from the supply closet in the room. "We're leaving."

"My baby is getting her check-up." Fred said "I'm not going anywhere."

"Angel's got it handled. We have to go." Faith wheeled the chair over to Fred's bedside.

"What about Wesley?"

"He's distracting Buffy and will meet us at your car in twenty minutes which is why we have to leave now. Buffy wants your baby and I don't think either of us want that to happen."

Fred got into the wheelchair. "I can walk if I have to."

"This is faster." Faith assured her "But don't ask any questions until we're out of the hospital, I want to keep a low profile." Faith wheeled Fred out of the room and took off down the hall at a rather unsafe speed. Fred squeezed her eyes shut, hoping she wouldn't vomit. There was very little about the leather-adorned young woman pushing Fred down the hall to the background of hospital staff telling them to stop or slow down that kept a low profile. Fred tried to focus on something other than the tumultuous ride, but all she could think of was how badly she wanted to be holding her baby right now. She wanted to hold her and keep her safe from harm.

…

For a single panicked moment Angel wondered what would happen if he couldn't find Fred and Wes's baby among the many bassinets, but she was easy to find. The chart at the end of her crib read 'Wyndham-Price, Cordelia P," and the little hospital band around her wrist read the same. Her blue eyes were very familiar. Angel started to reach into the crib and stopped. He remembered the day many years ago when he'd handed his own baby to the man who had those same blue eyes. He's never seen that baby again, not until he wasn't a baby anymore. Angel picked up the little girl with as much delicacy and care as possible. "Hi Cordelia." He whispered

"Oh the bitter irony," Angel turned around to face Giles. "I'm sure it's not lost on you."

Angel stared at the man as he took off his glasses and cleaned them. "You know why I'm here." Giles said "Give me the baby." Giles shortened the distance between them.

"You must be out of your mind." Angel said

"He deserves it." Giles said "Give me the baby."

"No,"

"We're not going to hurt it. Buffy just wants to make sure the world is safe."

"Her, she's a her. Her name is Cordelia."

"That's a nice name." Giles said "Did you ever wonder what would have happened if Wesley hadn't lost your baby to Holtz, if he'd managed to get him away like he was trying to do? Would he have raised the child as his own do you think? It isn't right to punish the man for an accident, but how about the intent. Take the girl, raise her like you didn't get to raise your own child. You and Buffy would make much better parents than that broken man."

"Get out of my way Giles."

"They'll kill her." Giles said "The child is damaged goods and when they find out they will kill her. The bits of Illyria still in Fred were transferred to that child. There is evil in her that her parents will not abide. They will strike her down. Only you can save the girl. Oh, the bitter irony." Giles laughed. "Do you get it? The prophecy he thought was condemning you for your poor parenting was actually condemning him for the same crime. Now to stop it from coming true you must separate him from his child as he did you from yours. It has poetry."

"You really think I'd believe that?" Angel asked "You think I'd betray my friends for your well-spun pack of lies. And before you go saying that's what Wesley did, save your breath okay? Sahjhan put a little bit more effort into his scam than you did. Get out of my-" Angel stopped talking when he saw a familiar Englishman flee from where he'd been watching through the window. "Giles?" Angel stared at the man in front of him with a dawning comprehension.

"Oops," The first said, and then vanished

Angel swore. He ran out of the room toward the parking lot while cradling Cordelia with the utmost care. Giles was on his way to warn Buffy. Angel hoped Wes was already gone.

…

Conner lay in the truck bed with his eyes shut tight. He'd convinced Anne and Gunn that he was more comfortable with the fresh air than cooped up in the cab, but he was really just trying to make sure they had the best chance of the survival if the thing inside him lashed out again. He needed to be safe, chained up somewhere. Conner focused all of his energies on beating the change. He felt as though he'd been in this truck for years, but knew in reality it had probably been only a couple of hours. There were probably many more to go. He clutched his head. "Get out you bitch." He growled "You can't have me." He felt the truck slow. Why were they stopping? Hadn't he made it clear that time was of the essence? Conner looked up at a giant glowing sign that read 'Caritas' in pale blue and neon green. Gunn and Anne got out of the truck.

Gunn opened the truck bed and offered his hand to Conner. "I guess we really were on the road for a long time." Conner said as he let Gunn help him down.

"Thirty-six hours, but who's counting?" Gunn said "I'm starving."

"I have to pee so badly." Anne said as they ran for the back door.

Lorne was waiting in the back where they unloaded the weekly supply trucks. "It's been too long." He said cheerily as he embraced Anne and gave Gunn's hand a hearty shake. "Conner my lad," He said warmly "You look like crap." He pulled the kid into a hug.

"I feel even worse." Conner said

"I can imagine. Sick as a dog, demons trying to take over your body, and one of the most powerful organizations in the world wants to abduct you and do God knows what to ya."

"That about sums it up." Conner said while shivering

Lorne led them into the supply room. Conner could hear music coming through the door from the other room. "Well don't you worry." Lorne said "Caritas is a sanctuary."

Teresa opened the door to the bar itself from the other side, letting in bright lights and loud music. Conner flinched, but Teresa shut it just as quickly. She ran for the newcomers. "I'm so glad to see you!" She shrieked "Anne," She hugged Anne who happily reciprocated. "Charles Gunn," Gunn let Teresa hug him. "Oh Conner," Teresa hugged him for the longest.

"I told him not to worry." Lorne assured Teresa "After all," He returned his attention to his old friends. "Helping the helpless is what we do here. Now let's get you upstairs."

…

"So uh how do yall know each other again?" Patricia asked Buffy

"We used to work together." Wesley said

"Yeah," Buffy said "We were exterminators."

"Like you exterminated demons?" Roger asked

Buffy jumped in surprise. She shot Wesley a look and he couldn't help but give her a self-satisfied one in return. "They know about the supernatural Buffy."

Buffy nodded. "Ah-huh," She said "We exterminated demons and vampires."

"Wasn't Angel a vampire when you worked with him?" Patricia asked

"He was a special vampire." Dawn said "He had a soul."

"I remember you telling me about that." Patricia said "When we were running from-" She stopped talking when an elderly Englishman ran up to them very quickly.

"Angel has the baby and was talking to the first." Giles panted

"What?!" Patricia said "Are you talking about my granddaughter?"

Wesley knew he should run while he had the chance, but he couldn't just leave the Burkles with only that information. He pulled them aside quickly. "It's okay." He said even though the fact that Angel was talking to the first petrified him "Angel was just protecting-"

Buffy grabbed Wesley and threw him to the floor. She picked him up by his neck, choking the man. "I'm only going to ask once, so listen very carefully. Where is the kid?"

"Put him down!" Patricia demanded

"You can't do this." Roger added

"Do you know what that thing you brought into the world is destined to do?" Buffy asked

Wesley struggled to breath. "She's my daughter." He choked out "She's a human baby."

"A healthy human baby," Patricia said "That's what the doctors said."

"Be quiet," Buffy snapped at the couple before returning her attention to Wesley. "Tell me what I need to know or I will make you bleed." Buffy promised "You know I can."

"I guess it's a good thing we're in a hospital." Wesley gasped

"I see coming back from the dead made you feel a little immortal, I can fix that."

"Buffy please listen, the first is manipulating you. It wants you to do this."

"The first wants me to stop his disciples from crossing over? The first wants me to keep those foretold to destroy the world from doing so? I highly doubt that." Buffy said

"It wants to weaken us by dividing us. We defeated the senior partners by working together. We don't stand a chance against them while we're at each other's throats." Wesley struggled to keep breathing. "Literally," He pulled uselessly at her hand.

Buffy dropped him to the ground. Wesley pulled in a deep painful breath. "We'll go after them." Buffy said as group of hospital guards rushed in that she proceeded to ignore "We'll take him with us." Dawn pulled out a pair of handcuffs and approached the former watcher.

"Now see here." Roger said "You've got no authority-"

Buffy turned to face him and he clammed up. Buffy's fearsome demeanor gave him pause. "I don't like to hurt civilians, but when the fate of the world is at stake, things happen."

"Leave them alone." Wesley said as Dawn cuffed him "They're good people."

"So are you." Patricia told her son-in-law "They can't do this."

"Agreed," Buffy watched Faith approach from down the hall. "I'm gonna kick your ass so hard every slayer called from now on is going to feel it."

"Wow Faith," Dawn said "As one-liners go, that's pretty weak."

"Not as weak as her punches." Buffy said as she threw one of her own at Faith

…

Angel ran up to Wesley and Fred's car and pulled open the back door. Fred was sitting next to Faith with her head resting on the slayer's shoulders. She looked exhausted and frail when she lifted her head to look at him, but she still managed to smile. Angel felt a pang of guilt over her haggard appearance. She should be resting in a hospital bed, not on the run from his girlfriend. Fred reached for Cordelia and Angel gently transferred the baby into her arms.

"Isn't my little girl beautiful?" Fred whispered

Angel nodded. "She is." Angel looked at that baby and knew that everything the first said was a lie. Cordelia was a normal healthy human baby. Angel smiled at mother and daughter.

"Where's Wesley?" Faith asked

Fred looked up in panic. "Is he in trouble?"

"I'll go look for him." Angel promised

Faith got out on the other side of the car. "You stay here." She ordered as she strode toward the hospital. "Watch the kid and her mom. I'll be right back."

Angel thought about protesting but heard the futility of it in her voice. He got into the car and sat next to Fred. Fred cradled her baby close to her chest. "She's perfect." Fred said

"She is." Angel agreed "She takes after her mother."

Fred giggled as she leaned against Angel. Her eyes drooped shut. "Don't let them hurt my baby." Fred whispered "She's all new. She can't take care of herself yet."

Angel draped his arm over his old friend. "Nobody is going to hurt your baby." Angel promised "Nobody is going to hurt your family. I personally guarantee it."

…

Faith blocked Buffy's punch and countered with her own. While the slayers decked it out hospital security tried to figure out how to approach the situation. "Hey," Roger said "That psycho cuffed my son-in-law. Our daughter just gave birth and we were waiting in here when she just cuffed him for no reason. Can we get a hand here?" A guard approached Wesley

"Don't listen to him." Dawn said "My sister was trying to stop a madman."

"I saw it." A nurse said "She was choking him, he didn't do anything."

The guard helped Wesley to his feet and pulled out a key that unlocked the cuffs. He released Wesley. "Thanks," Wes said "I appreciate it." He took off running down the hall. "I'll call you!" He shouted at his in-laws. "Don't worry about Fred or the baby, they'll be fine." Faith shoved Buffy and ran after Wesley. "Thank you," Wesley said as the guards as well as Buffy and her posse ran after them. "Is everyone all right?"

"Yeah," Faith said "Let's get the hell out of here."

…

Teresa led Conner to the bathroom where she had run him a hot bath. "The towels are in there." She pointed to the linen closet. "There are fresh bars of soap in a variety of fun scents under the sink. We have spare toothbrushes and toothpaste in that drawer."

"You don't have to do all this for me." Conner said "You should just tie me up."

Teresa kissed his sweaty brow. "You're safe here." She left him to his devices, not acknowledging the tears running down his face.

…

Wesley yanked open the driver's door as Faith got into the passenger side. He pulled out his keys and started the car. Wesley tried to feel relieved that they had escaped, but until they were off the hospital grounds he wouldn't really feel safe. Fred was asleep in the backseat leaning on Angel, who was making sure she and her baby were secure from any unnecessary jolting. It was a good thing he was, because when Wesley slammed on the brakes Angel made sure Fred neither fell off her seat nor dropped the baby in her arms. Wesley stared bug-eyed at the figure in front of his car. Faith stared in disbelief. Fred opened her eyes and screamed.

"Oh my God," Angel said

"Illyria," Said Wes

They didn't have time for much else. Illyria was faster than a slayer, faster than Angel had been as a vampire, and much, much faster than a mortal man. She pulled the driver's side door off the car and yanked Wesley out of the car. She tossed him to the ground.

Angel and Faith both got out of the car and ran toward the old one. Illyria looked exactly as she had when they'd killed her. She had Fred's appearance, but none of her demeanor. Fred herself remained in the car, clutching her baby and squeezing her eyes shut tight. On the day she'd brought her child into the world she was being confronted with the thing she feared most.

Illyria threw Angel into the air. When he hit the ground her heard a snap that he was pretty sure was his wrist. "So much easier when I was a vampire." He mumbled

Faith stood in front of Illyria. She managed to dodge two blows and deflect one, but Illyria finally landed an uppercut under Faith's chin that would have killed most people. Faith staggered back. Faith wasn't just a slayer, she was a mythic figure in supernatural circles. She did not go down easily. She pulled a stake from her pocket and drove it toward Illyria's neck. It may as well have been a sewing needle, for it only scratched the woman.

Illyria grabbed Faith by the shoulders and threw her as well. She turned to Wesley, who was still climbing to his feet. "Have you been enjoying your second life?" She kicked him. Angel threw his arms around Illyria while Wesley clutched his now broken ribs. Illyria easily batted Angel aside. "You are all weak and pathetic creatures." She said "You do not deserve life."

Faith attacked Illyria again. Illyria turned to deal with the slayer. Angel helped Wesley to his feet. "Come on." He led the man back toward the car. Wesley got into the back seat while Angle hopped into the doorless driver's seat. He backed up in such a way to align the passenger side door with the skirmish. Faith hopped into the car and Angel peeled away at an unsafe acceleration, leaving Illyria behind. "Can she outrun a car?" Angel asked

"Dear God I hope not." Wesley wheezed

"She's behind us." Faith said as she watched her mirror. "Small miracles right Angel?"

"Right," Angel said, panting "Right,"

"Oh Wesley," Fred said "What she did to you," Fred looked horrified.

"I don't care." Wesley winced as he spoke, but he then leaned forward and kissed his wife. "I don't care as long as you're both safe." He leaned his forehead against hers.

"I think we should switch cars." Faith said

"Good plan," Said Angel as wind came at him through where the door had been

…

Spike closed the clasp on Conner's chain. The basement was cold and damp. The only room down here with any heat was the office where they met clients. The rest of the rooms were living space for Harmony and Spike. Since the vampires had no body temperature it was pointless to heat up the rooms. Conner felt the cold water chill his burning skin. "Thank you,"

"Can I get you anything?" Spike asked with uncharacteristic kindness

Conner shook his head. "You've done enough."

Spike nodded and headed back up the stairs. He didn't even pause at the door to the bar, continuing up to the second floor. This was where Teresa and Lorne lived, as well as where they met their clients for their psychic consultation business. At the dining room table the two demons entertained their human guests as well as one blond vampire. "What's the news?"

"They managed to evade Buffy and they're almost here." Gunn said

"Angel said Fred isn't looking so good." Anne said "No one needs a day long car trip right after giving birth." Spike flinched. He had a soft spot for Fred.

"She needs a good bed and some good food." Lorne said

"Both of which we have and freely give." Teresa said "They can rest and regain their strength while we plan for what's to come. All will be safe here at Caritas."

"Because of the sanctorum spell?" Gunn asked

"Right!" Harmony said excitedly "It's been super useful this last year and a half."

"Yeah," Spike muttered "Not sure if it will keep out Buffy's lot though."

"Well why wouldn't it?" Lorne said with a nervous laugh

"They've got red on their side." Spike said "Maybe she can break the spell."

"Let's not be negative now." Lorne said

"That's exactly what we should do." Gunn said "We have to prepare for any eventuality."

"Like that Buffy might be right." When Spike finished that statement you could hear a pin drop in the room. Anne grabbed Gunn's hand. He squeezed it while staring at Spike. The glare was both appraising, angry, and wary. Lorne wore his anxiety on his sleeve. Teresa held his hand and seemed completely calm. Harmony just looked confused. "Conner is in pretty bad shape. In time Faith will look like that too. We have to consider that Buffy knows what she's-"

Gunn didn't let Spike finish. "Cordelia wasn't even conceived in L.A. There is no way she's infected. Buffy tried to kidnap her anyway. She forced Wes and Fred to flee their home, jobs, and family. She tried to kill Wesley. The first got to her and she's lost it."

Spike frowned. "If the prophecy is real…" Spike trailed off. He hated prophecies as a general rule, hated relying on them to back up a point. "We don't know the first's game."

"We know it wants us to turn against each other." Anne said "And we have."

"It couldn't be avoided." Gunn said "They attacked us." He glared at Spike. "Without cause," He added for the vampire's benefit. "They didn't even tell us what they wanted at first."

Spike nodded. "The first is definitely at work here. But that still doesn't-"

Gunn rose to his feet. "Are you saying we should turn Conner over?"

Spike rolled his eyes. "I didn't say that."

Teresa stood up and clapped her scaled hands together in glee as though nothing tense or frightening were happening. "They're here." She said "Let's go say hi." She ran from the room.

…

When Angel pulled to a stop he let out a breath he felt like he'd been holding all day. For the first ten hours Faith had driven her far too cramped car. Angel had taken over after that and promised Wesley he's wake him after ten hours and let him drive the last eight. Angel had possessed no intention of keeping that promise. Faith sat in the passenger seat, sleeping. The Wyndham-Price family was finally getting some sleep as well. Between the baby's crying, Wesley's broken ribs, and Fred's rapidly deteriorating condition, it was a wonder they could.

Faith's eyes snapped open. "We're not moving." She observed

"We're here." Angel explained unnecessarily as he parked next to Gunn's truck in view of the flashing sign. "And so's the welcoming committee." Angel saw everyone but Conner.

Faith couldn't get out of the car fast enough. She stretched, feeling her joints snap and pop, her muscles extend. Her stiff bones bent slightly. "I just have to say." Gunn said "That's really hot." He kissed Anne on the cheek to show he wasn't hitting on Faith.

The teasing grin fell off his face when Angel helped Fred out of the car. Her skin was now almost the same color as Teresa's scales. Wes got out holding his baby and limping with the pain of his broken ribs. Anne and Gunn rushed over to their friends. "Let me help." Anne said

Wes allowed her to take the baby after a slight hesitation and then Gunn helped the man inside. After a few weak steps Angel just picked Fred up and carried her inside. The bar was closed at the moment and the room's many tables available for their use. The second they all gathered at a large table little Cordelia began to cry. Faith suppressed a groan. She's been listening to that for over a full day on and off. But she was glad the baby was safe and present enough to cry, so she didn't complain. Anne tried to shush the baby to no avail.

"You all need a hospital." Gunn said

"Buffy can get to them there." Angel said

"I know a place." Spike said "Off the books, they mostly cater to demons, but they have guys who know human anatomy. They can patch you up."

"Yes please," Fred whispered weakly as she sat at the table

"I'll drive you." Lorne walked behind the bar and grabbed his keys.

"No, no more driving," Fred moaned "Hurts,"

Lorne knelt in front of her chair. "It's just a little drive, I promise."

Wesley took her hand and helped her to her feet, no mean task for someone barely on his own two. Faith grabbed the man's arm to steady him. "I'll go with you." Faith offered

"Bad idea," Angel said "We should keep the number of people out there Buffy wants to get at to a minimum." Faith scowled but nodded.

"I'll go." Gunn said "I make a pretty intimidating body guard."

Lorne, Gunn, Fred, Wesley, and little Cordelia departed. An oppressive silence fell on them as the gravity of their situation leered at them. Angel faced Anne. Before he could ask the phone rang. Everyone jumped. Spike went to pick up the phone. "Yeah? I'll be right there."

Spike put the phone down. "Where are you going?" Anne asked

"I've got a job."

"Are you serious?" Angel asked "The first is back. Illyria is back and with a vengeance not to mention a hell of a lot more powerful. Buffy has gone nuts and wants to abduct my son, Faith, and an innocent newborn baby. You have a job? You must be joking."

"Vamp nest, wanna come?"

Angel gaped at the man. "Yeah okay,"

The two men left, Harmony running after them a few seconds later. "Wait up!"

Teresa, Anne, and Faith were alone in the room. "Can I take a shower?" Faith asked

"Follow me." Teresa said "We have many bars of soap in a variety of fun scents."

…

"So basically," Buffy said "We have nothing."

"I wouldn't say nothing." Willow said "We have Wesley's abandoned car which happens to be disconnected from its perfectly serviceable door indicating a big fight."

The assembled glared at Willow. "So to reiterate," Dawn said "Nothing,"

"Pretty much yeah," Willow agreed

"I am curious about that door though." Giles said "It was ripped from its frame."

"We have bigger problems." Buffy said "Where would they go?"

"They can't have gotten far." Willow said "Not with Fred in that condition."

"They wouldn't have risked staying close." Robin said "I know Faith."

"No way they risked endangering Fred's health, or that baby." Kennedy said

"Cordelia," Dawn said

Buffy and her friends turned their eyes to Dawn. "That's her name."

Buffy nodded. "We don't want to hurt anybody." She said out of nowhere, perhaps in an attempt to convince herself. "We're trying to help. If the senior partners cross over again…"

"Hellfire, death, destruction, chaos, end times," Xander said "The basics,"

"Nothing is more important than stopping that." Buffy said

They all nodded in agreement, Giles, Dawn, Xander, Willow, Kennedy, and Robin. "So who would they turn to in their hour of need?" Giles asked "Who would they trust enough?"

"Lorne," Willow said suddenly "It has to be."

"No way," Buffy said "Angel would never go to Spike for help."

"It has to be Lorne." Willow said "They trust him completely."

"But they don't trust Spike." Xander said "They know he's in good with Buffy."

Dawn gave a small sarcastic laugh. "So was Angel. Where is he now?"

"He gave us a pretty good beating." Robin said

"For trying to hurt Faith." Kennedy said "Seems clear where his priorities lie. I kind of thought there was something between those two."

Buffy flinched. She clenched her fists and tried to suppress any reaction. "We check out New York. If they're there, we take them down. If not, maybe we get some help from Spike."

They all nodded in agreement. Willow grabbed Xander's and Kennedy's hands. Dawn took hands with Buffy and Xander. Giles latched onto Buffy and Robin who took Kennedy's free hand. Willow muttered a spell and the seven people teleported to New York.

…

Illyria stepped through the Hart's door. On the other side was a battlefield full of desecrated corpses. The Hart was in the middle of a desecration, her pure white dress unblemished, when she looked up and smiled at Illyria. "Do you need transportation?"

"I do." Illyria said

The Hart nodded at the door Illyria had come through. "It will take you where they went." She said "They won't arrive for a day, but you have shown remarkable patience."

Illyria hesitated for a microsecond before taking the doorknob in her hand. She remembered something she knew about the Hart. "You can read my mind." Illyria didn't turn back around to face her fellow old one, she knew the creature was nodding. "You know what I was thinking when I came in." She now turned to face the Hart.

The Hart smiled at Illyria. "I kept my promise. Your fears are only that, baseless. You are clean of any residual humanity. You are as you were Illyria." The Hart assured her

"Then why do I still remember her thoughts?"

"You only remember remembering." The Hart said "You remember your time with them and so remember what you were thinking, including your exploration of the Burkle woman's memories. But look inside and see that they are gone. She is nothing to you now, I promise."

Illyria nodded. "Good, that's what I want."

Illyria opened the door and looked upon a body of water and a suspension bride towering over it. The door opened onto one of the bridge's support structures. "Of course," The Hart spoke up "If it was you, not her residual parts, that loved that man, then you still love him."

"I am incapable of love." Illyria said "I am above love, emotion, anything human. I obey the ancient laws. I hunt and I kill, that is all. I yielded to the prophecy that foretold my resurrection and I yield to the purpose of it. I was betrayed, so I will destroy my betrayers. He is nothing to me but prey. I will flay his skin and suck the marrow from his bones."

"I love it when you talk dirty." The Hart said "Have fun." Illyria stepped through the door. The Hart watched it close and disappear. The smile slipped from her face. She knelt down to dine on the blood of the fallen. She watched her slayers dance among one another, so unaware.


	4. A Year of Peace

Fred opened her eyes to look at the face of her lover. It was strange that none of the titles really covered it all. Lover, husband, soul mate, he was all of that and more to her. He was her other half, but also her best friend. She smiled at him. "You okay?"

He kissed her on the cheek. "Never better," She looked at the sterile white walls in the small out of the way clinic. For a place that catered mostly to demons it seemed remarkably normal. She still felt weak, but at least she was in a hospital bed, not a car.

"Never?" She asked skeptically

"Maybe a couple of times."

Eight Months Ago

Wesley opened the front door and was greeted by delicious smells wafting over from the kitchen. "I thought it was my turn to cook dinner." He protested

She ran out of the kitchen and up to him and then kissed him on the mouth, long, passionately. "I just wanted to make something really special tonight. Tonight is special."

"Why what happened?" He asked, excited by her boundless energy and enthusiasm

She handed him an envelope. He pulled out a piece of paper that turned out to be a lab report. He stared at it for a few moments as a wide grin stretched onto his face. "Fred," He whispered "Oh my God," He looked up at her beaming face. "This is fantastic!" He drew her into his arms and kissed her. "This is wonderful." He stared into her eyes.

"I'm glad you're happy." She said

"Of course I'm happy, I'm ecstatic." He grinned even wider. "We're going to be parents." He kissed her again and she giggled at his enthusiasm. "Us, parents,"

"And we will be wonderful parents. We will make our kids eat vegetables and candy every night. We will read them bedtime stories about electrons and protons. We'll teach them all the things they need to know for life: calculus, accounting, decorum, interior decorating."

Wesley laughed. "Kids?"

"Well we'll start with just the one." Fred said "See how that goes."

"Maybe not candy every night," He suggested

"We won't tell them that it's sugar free."

"Oh that's devious." Wesley said as he leaned in for another kiss

"I am," Fred threw her arms around him. "Very devious,"

Wesley could smell kitchen spices and sweat on her. "If we take this any further dinner will definitely be burnt when we're done." Wes said as he pulled her closer to him.

"Okay,"

"The house could catch on fire."

"It's insured."

"Where will the baby live then?"

Fred sighed and pulled back from him, her hands resting on his chest. She gave him a brief kiss. "Later," She said as she returned to the kitchen with him following her

"I promise." Wesley grabbed the cutting board and knife to finish chopping carrots. He was going to be a dad. The idea sent him reeling. In some ways it felt like a dream. In some ways this all felt like a dream. He looked over at his wife. He looked at her frame and bearing. Every part of her made him love her, but none so much as all her parts put together. Now they were going to have a child together. She caught him looking at her. She reached over and turned off the stove. She put her hands to his face and her lips to his. They did not have dinner that night.

…

Spike planted his stake in another vampire. He glanced over at Angel, who was holding his own. Spike saw that humanity hadn't made Angel go completely soft. The man was slower, weaker, and more vulnerable, but he was still tough and gave his task his all. Spike respected that. Spike grabbed a vampire headed for Angel before it could close the distance between himself and his target. Angel was distracted by his fight and hadn't noticed the vamp. Spike staked it. Spike watched the man who had once been his grandsire and felt a wave of conflicted emotions. The one that most surprised him was pity. No matter what Spike thought of Angel he knew the man really did love Buffy, that they made each other happy. That might be over now.

Harmony bumped into Spike while taking out a vamp. "Watch it," He growled

"Gee you are in such a foul mood today." Harmony said

Spike took out the last vampire, then he turned and grabbed Harmony by her hair. "I get tired of your pestering." He kissed her, without gentleness or warmth

She grabbed his shoulder and pressed herself against him. "You are such a jerk."

Angel watched the two riled up vampires go at it. He wondered if that was how they always handled the aftermath of a battle. Fighting did tend to leave one with a lot of excess energy. Angel remembered that from his own days as an evil-fighting vampire. But as a human things were different, had been anyway. Maybe it wasn't his humanity that changed him, maybe it was her, finally being able to have her. Semantics really, they were one and the same.

Two Months Ago

Angel staked one of the last vampires. Buffy took out the remaining two in a single quick double jab. She smiled at her beau. "Looks like that about covers it."

"Yep," Angel rotated his shoulder. "I'm starting to get back in my groove." Realizing that sounded corny Angel decided to run with it and attempted a little dance move.

Buffy laughed. "Stop." She gave him a gentle shove. "It's almost sunrise." She noted

Angel looked up at the sky. "It is." He grinned at her. "Coffee?"

Buffy nodded. "What's that place we went to after we took out the nest in the abandoned church? It had those blueberry pastries with the little chocolate pearls?"

"I know what you're talking about." Angel said "Those were good."

"Where was that place?" Buffy pondered

"It was on the river." Angel said "There was a little kid feeding ducks outside the window. I think I could find it again. Things are easier to find with the sun out."

Buffy took his arm. "Do you think you'll ever get tired of it?"

Angel lay his head on hers and sniffed her hair. "I could watch a billion sunrises and a billion sunsets, and still be excited for the next one." She smelled like vanilla.

"It's funny, I always used to think of the sunrise as just a vampire alarm clock. Now, seeing it through your eyes, it gives me a whole new appreciation. It has become the most beautiful thing in the world. I never would have had that if not for you."

"I wouldn't have anything if not for you." Angel said "You're…" He couldn't finish

"What?" Buffy asked "What am I?" She was grinning at him, eager to hear.

"I'd have to rewrite the dictionary to tell you." Angel said

"You're such a dork." Buffy kissed him.

"I know." He kissed her back. "I'm a romantic."

"You're my romantic. You're my old-fashioned, cover-hogging, pancake-making, amazing romantic. I love you." Buffy grabbed the edges of his coat. She kissed him with greater intensity. He reciprocated, feeling her warmth and life surround him, and touch his own. He felt her heat and knew that she felt his. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.

"I hog the covers because I'm not used to the cold."

"Get over it." Buffy said as she pressed against him "Now," She pulled back and straightened his coat. "Let's go get some coffee." They interlocked hands. They walked over to the riverside, letting the sunlight wash over them. Angel felt a moment of perfect happiness. The moment filled him with light, strengthening his soul instead of tearing it out.

…

Faith lay down on the pull out couch. It was fairly comfortable once it had sheets and pillows. She closed her eyes and wished for everyone to return as soon as possible. She considered praying, but decided against it. Faith rolled over to try and get comfortable. Her anxiety was like an itch she couldn't scratch. She just wanted Wesley and his family to get back safe and sound. She tossed and turned a little more. She wouldn't get a wink of sleep until then.

Eleven Months Ago

"And how goes the riveting life of a high school English teacher?" Faith lay on her bed, phone to her ear. Robin was still at work and she was home for her lunch break.

"Well it's not the glamorous life of a slayer, but the kids are all right." Wesley sat at his desk in his empty classroom eating a sandwich. "Some actually want to learn."

"Perish the thought." Faith said with a laugh "I remember my school days."

"Yes I'm sure you were an excellent student who never gave your teachers any trouble."

"You know how easy-going I am." Faith said "I did like that one Shakespeare play though, what was it called? We read it aloud in class and I was one of the main characters. I liked how looney tunes all the main characters were. It was a romantic comedy I think."

"I'd figure you more for the tragedies. _A Midsummer Night's Dream_?" Wesley guessed

"No, I hate that one. There was a prince, and his brother was a bastard."

"_Much Ado about Nothing_?"

"That's it!" Faith sat up in excitement. "I read the prince."

"I'd love to hear that." Wesley said

"Well you never will." Faith said "My Shakespeare days are over."

Wesley adopted a dramatic tone. "Oh you can take the girl out of the theatre, but you can never take the theatre out of the girl. It will call you again."

Faith walked into the kitchen. "Not. Going. To. Happen."

Wesley laughed. "It's my new mission in life, to get you to read Shakespeare."

"Well good luck with your doomed mission." Faith said as she pulled an unlabeled tupperware out of the fridge "How's the new wife?" Faith asked, opening the container with one hand to reveal chicken which she then put in the microwave

"Wonderful." Wesley said in an endearing tone on sincerity "The kids love her. She has a special way of explaining things that really appeals to them. She makes quantum theory seem fun. But everything is fun with Fred, she injects energy into every aspect of her life."

"That's nice." Faith said "You sound like a love struck teenager." She didn't say that in an insulting way, her tone implied a compliment. "I thought old married people were supposed to get all mundane and bored with each other. Not that I'm saying you're old, which you are."

"First of all," Wesley said "Not old," Faith snickered as she started to chow down on her chicken. It was still sort of cold, but she felt lazy. "Secondly, I could never be bored of Fred."

Faith smiled. That sort of optimistic romanticism would frustrate her in anybody else, but in Wesley she found it very endearing. "I have to get back to work." She said, realizing the time

"All right, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye," She hung up the phone and then put the chicken back in the fridge. Faith headed for the door, and her slayer headquarters. She found it odd how Wesley always made her remember things that made her smile. Throughout her terrible high school years reading that play was one memory that while not wonderful, didn't suck. She wondered how he did that.

…

Anne sat fidgeting nervously at one of the tables in the bar. Teresa was talking to Conner downstairs. Faith was upstairs asleep. Anne supposed she should try to get some sleep as well, especially while the building was mostly empty. But she had a million different thought whirling around in her head. Conner, she'd come to love him like a mother would a son. They'd tried to help him, done all they could. Yet she felt as though she'd failed him. She felt like she'd failed everybody. Anne lay her head down on the table. It was strange how for the first little while she'd felt like she was intruding on someone else's happy ending. When Conner got sick it almost felt more right than when they were all happy. It wasn't that she was glad, she was devastated. But when they were all together and happy, when she had her shelter running smoothly, her man happy beside her, Conner laughing with some kids in another room, she felt like she was cheating. She felt like she'd injected herself into Gunn's happy ending without earning it. She needed to do something, to feel like she was paying for her joy.

Seventeen Months Ago

Anne stood in front of the construction site. "They're almost done." She marveled

Gunn stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "We can open soon."

"I'm already running through the list of things we'll need for opening night. Conner said he'd come over and help out, but we'll need some more volunteers. I talked to the food bank and we should have enough food, but I have a cash reserve we can tap into if we start to run low. We might have to bring out the sleeping bags if all the beds fill up-" Gunn stopped Anne with a kiss.

"Has anyone ever told you how extremely sexy you are when you get all administrative."

"No," She said truthfully "No one has ever told me that."

"My problem is I always think you're sexy, so I can't tell what does and doesn't make you look extra sexy." He kissed her again. "I guess there's no hope for me."

"None," Anne said "You're stuck with me."

"Forever?" He asked

"For. Ever." She said in a fake scary voice "And ever," She whispered

"Sounds like a pretty sweet deal." He said

"We're going to help a lot of people." Anne said

"Um-hum," Gunn kissed her again. "We will." He was so happy. She was as well. She remembered. Every day she looked in the mirror at least once and remembered. She remembered what Kate had said had about seeing herself and what she had done. Anne did that, but then she went on with her life. She had things to live for, good works to do. She was going to help a lot of people. Maybe Kate and Rodney would be able to forgive her, wherever they were.

…

Lorne opened the car door for his friends. Wesley had his ribs wrapped and stern instructions not to engage in any strenuous activity for a little while. The doctors had looked at Cordelia and declared her to be in perfect health. Fred they said was suffering from overexertion and a slight infection. They'd treated her and told her sleep and food was all she needed now, as well as the antibiotics they'd given her. Gunn watched her get in the car and felt a pang in his heart. She looked better, but still incredibly weak. Gunn loved her, but in the same way he'd loved his sister, not in a creepy stalker ex-boyfriend way. Gunn was happy with Anne, and happy to see Fred with a man that she loved. Yet when he saw her like this, weak and in pain, he felt involuntary resentment toward Wesley. In a way, he was responsible for this. Gunn hated thinking like that. He hated it because he loved Wesley like a brother, just as he loved Fred like a sister. He didn't want to resent the man, especially for such an unwarranted reason.

"Are you okay?" Lorne asked Gunn when he got in the car "Your aura is screaming."

Gunn felt his heartbeat accelerate. How much of that had Lorne gotten? "I just want to get back to where it's safe. I don't like being out in the open like this."

"Seconded," Wesley said

Lorne pretended to accept that. He felt anger and resentment coming from Gunn, but also guilt and selfless concern. Lorne was used to such mixed emotional baggage, especially from his friends. But this last year had lulled him into a false sense of security. Lorne had always been watching the fluxing in their auras, worrying about their paths. But at the wedding, he hadn't seen any problems bigger than a little aimlessness. Everyone had seemed so happy. Lorne might have been projecting a little bit though, because he had been very happy. He had a thriving business, happy friends, and a renewed purpose. It was strange, how well things had been going in New York. Even the bad things had their good moments in a weird way.

Six Months Ago

Lorne woke up to a pounding on the door. He stumbled out of bed. When he threw open the door Harmony was standing there. Lorne moaned. "Tonight? Really?"

Teresa followed him out of their room. "I need to sleep on your couch." Harm said

Teresa knew the routine, they'd done it many times before. She got the sheets out of the linen closet while Lorne pulled out the couch. Teresa handed him the pillows while she held open the pillow cases. "What did he say?" Teresa asked

"He told me I was needy. Me! Needy! I'm not needy. He's needy. All I want is a little acknowledgment of our relationship, but all he wants to do is screw around. I need to know he's committed. I can't be wasting my time on some guy who's just going to use up the best years of my unlife and then cast me aside. I'm not getting any younger. I'm not getting any older, but I'm not getting any younger either." Harmony concluded her rant with a heavy sigh as she plopped down on the freshly made pull out bed. "I just don't get him." She said

"There, there Harmonica." Lorne said "He'll come around."

"He's going through a weird phase in his dating life." Teresa explained "He killed Drusilla, watched Buffy get together with Angel. He's still processing all the occurrences in his life. He needs to take things slow, it's important you support him through that."

"He wasn't slow about putting his-"

Lorne cut Harmony off. "Okay, well good night Harmony."

Teresa waggled her claws at Harmony as good night. They went back to their room. They got back into bed. Lorne sighed in exasperation. Teresa snuggled up next to him. "Young love,"

"He's one hundred thirty three years old." Lorne said

"Well we're all young in the grand scheme of things." Teresa said "We're all young and dying young. But popular culture often espouses the values of dying young, so that's good."

Lorne chuckled. "I don't intend to die any time soon."

"Promise?" Teresa asked

"Yes," Lorne said "What about-"

Teresa cut him off, something she almost never did to anybody, especially him. "They're our friends." She said "We shouldn't be exasperated by them, we should celebrate them."

Lorne pulled her closer to him. It was weird how close he could feel to her when there was always the unacknowledged chasm between them. "Even when they act like lunatics?"

"Especially then," Teresa said "We shouldn't get angry, or lose patience. We should smile all the time, tell at least one joke every day, and take all their money in poker."

Lorne laughed. He kissed the top of her head. "I guess I can do that."

…

Spike drove silently along the road with Angel in the passenger seat. They didn't really have anything to talk about so there was no need to speak. Spike felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and swore. "What is it?" Angel asked

"Buffy," Spike flipped open the phone. "Hey," Angel felt a physical tension as Spike listened to Angel's (ex?) girlfriend at the other end. "No, I don't think they'd come to me for help." Spike was silent for a few moments. "Sure I'll ask Lorne if he's heard from them." There was more silence. "Okay, I'll talk to you later. Hey why didn't you ask Angel if he's heard from them? They're his friends." Silence. "Oh really, I see. Well talk to you later, bye." Spike hung up the phone. He threw it on the back seat and clutched the steering wheel tighter. "She knows."

"What?" Angel asked "How?"

"I don't know, but I know Buffy and she knows."

They sat in silence for the rest of the ride back.

Four Months Ago

Spike fell to the ground as the last demon fell apart after he skewered its regenerative core. He laughed, filled with energy. "Well that was fun." He looked around at the sewer they were in. It was dark, smelly, and coated with demon puss. Spike laughed again.

"I got demon goo on my shoes." Harmony whined as she approached from down the tunnel "I don't think it's coming out." She flicked a pulpy green mass off her arm.

"Wear rain boots next time."

Harmony rolled her eyes. "They totally clash."

Spike nodded with mock commiseration. "Right, with the demon puss. I see your point."

Harmony tried to kick him, but he grabbed her foot and pulled her to the ground. She shrieked. "Disgusting!" She lifted her arm and looked at the slime and grime. "My clothes," She moaned "Oh they're ruined." Spike positioned himself over her and began to kiss her. "Oh God Spike, you're a pig. We're in a sewer." Spike maneuvered his tongue into her mouth. "A," He reached under her shirt. "Dirty," He shifted to be more directly on top of her. "Disgusting," He moved his mouth down her neck, licking her skin. "I am so hot right now." She said

They got home about an hour later. Harmony made a beeline for the shower. Spike was smirking as he headed upstairs to the ground floor. When he entered the bar he ignored the looks from patrons staring at his disgusting clothes. The bartender had his usual ready when Spike arrived at the bar and handed it over. "Thanks," Spike held the glass up toward the man.

"Cheers," He looked down the bar at Teresa, raising a champagne glass.

He smiled at her and mimicked her actions. "Cheers," He replied

He downed his shot while she took a sip of champagne. "Good job," She told him

"What do you mean?"

She walked over and sat down next to him. "Think of all the people those demons would have killed in their lives. Think of all the pain and suffering they would have caused. You ended that. Sometimes you don't think about stuff like that. But I think it's nice to remind you."

Spike chuckled. "You always say the strangest things." He told her

"Everyone says that, so I assume it isn't true."

Spike laughed again. "I was just having a good time." He said "Bumping off some ugly demons, bumping uglies with a pretty blond demon, it's a good time." He gestured for another drink. Teresa placed her elbow on the table and leaned against her hand. "What?" He asked

"You should give yourself more credit. You're a hero."

"I don't need to be a hero." Spike said

"Those are the best kinds of heroes." Teresa said "The ones who don't have to do the right thing, but choose to anyway. You would be no worse off if you hadn't done what you did tonight, but you saved so many people. You did it for its own sake; that is noble."

"I'm not noble." Spike said

"But your actions are." Teresa said "That's more important, for the people you saved anyway. I doubt they care that you screwed in the slime afterwards, so don't think it changes what you did. You are a hero, maybe not a gentleman, but a genuine hero."

Spike looked into the demon's strange eyes. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"You're my friend, and I like you. Plus I'm nice to everybody," Teresa said "Except IRS agents, I hate those guys. I'm prejudiced against them. Truly I am a horrible person."

"For shame," Spike said

"Indeed," They clinked glasses.

…

Buffy hung up the phone. "They're at Caritas." She said

"You're sure?" Willow asked

"Spike can't lie to me." Buffy said

"So what do we do?"

Buffy tossed the phone up and down in her hand, frowning.

Fifteen Months Ago

Buffy rolled off her boyfriend onto her back, panting. She was completely nude and covered in sweat. Angel reached up and ran his fingers through his hair. "Wow," He said

Buffy smiled. She leaned over and kissed him. He kissed her back, full of passion and love. Here was a man who put her needs first. He was someone she trusted absolutely. It had been a long time since she'd felt like this, like she didn't have to worry, didn't have to put up a front. With him she could be wholly and totally herself. "I love you." She said, and meant it

"I love you too." Angel touched her cheek and kissed her lips. He moved closer to here, pressing their bodies together. "You make me feel alive."

"You are alive." Buffy said

"Only when I'm with you." Angel got out of bed and went to stand in front of the vanity mirror. He looked at his face, put his hand to it. "All of this is great. The heartbeat, the reflection, eating real food. But none of it compares to being with you. That's living."

Buffy stood up and walked behind him. She wrapped her arms around his stomach. She stood on her tip-toes and kissed his neck. "Then you're going to live a long time."

Now

Buffy put the phone in her pocket. "We tear the place apart."

…

The sound of a crying baby let everyone know Wes, Fred, Gunn, Lorne, and the crier herself were back. Everyone rushed into the bar. Lorne was carrying the baby and he looked like he was having fun doing so. The man looked imperturbable. "These things are adorable."

"Even when they cry!" Harmony said insincerely

Spike elbowed her. "Everyone all right?"

"We're fine." Fred said genially "We're great even."

"Not yet," Teresa said "But you will be when you have some of the marvelous soup and casserole I made while you were gone. Nutrition and sleep are nature's pick-me-ups!" She gestured for the couple to follow her. Lorne, Fred, and Wes followed the woman upstairs.

Angel surveyed the room. "What the hell guys?"

"What?" Faith asked, confused

Angel glared at Gunn. "You knew something was up with Conner."

Gunn sighed. He massaged the bridge of his nose, looking away from his friend. "He asked me not to tell you. I wanted to man, but he didn't want…"

"What?" Angel asked "What was it?"

"He didn't want to hurt you." Anne said

"You had no right to keep this from me!"

"Angel," Faith said "Keep it down."

"You don't agree?" Angel was incredulous.

"I do, I just think you should keep it down. Wes and Fred are sick."

Angel was seething, but he knew Faith was right. He took a moment to compose himself before speaking again. "He's my son, I had a right to know what was happening." He was calm.

"Conner is an adult." Gunn said "I had to respect his choice."

Angel locked eyes with Gunn. Angel wore his pain and anger on his face without making any attempts to hide it. Gunn looked guilty, but resolved. Finally Angel looked away. He bit back all the angry words he wanted to say. The last thing he wanted to do was alienate a close friend at a time like this. Gunn had possessed his reasons, and Angel might not agree with them, but there was little he could do about it now. All he could do was handle the situation that had finally been brought to his attention. "Fine, it's past now. I'm going to see my son." Angel walked to the basement steps. Gunn watched him go with guilt burrowing in his gut like a parasite. It was so hard to explain to Angel how him not knowing what was happening seemed to be the only thing keeping Conner going. How do you tell someone something like that?

Twelve Months Ago

Gunn knocked on the door to Conner's room. "Come in," Gunn stepped inside, still wearing the suit he'd worn to the wedding. "How was it?" Conner asked

"Great," Gunn said "Everyone missed you."

"I don't think they would have appreciated me giving them this fever."

"Yeah, the three month fever. Conner-"

"You didn't tell my dad did you? You said something about school right?"

"The school you dropped out of?" Gunn sighed. "Yeah, I did."

Conner reached for the washcloth sitting in the bowl of melted ice on his nightstand. He wiped the sweat off his face. "Thanks, I really appreciate it."

Gunn examined the sick boy from afar. Something told him that Conner knew more than he was letting on about his odd condition. At this point they were all deluding themselves. This had to be more than a natural malady. The more Gunn thought about it, the more he became sure that this had something to do with the four scars Conner bore from the fight in L.A. Yet even as Gunn became surer of this in one part of his mind another part of him didn't even dare think the thought. Was this the price for their victory in L.A.? Was Conner going to die from some otherworldly infection? "Do you want something to eat?" Gunn asked "I think Anne was going to make something." He heard a phone go off. He checked his; it was dark. "It's you."

Conner reached for the cell phone on the nightstand. He answered it. "Hey dad!" How did he manage to fake that healthy voice? "Yeah the school trip is going great!"

Gunn left the room. Conner almost seemed to gain strength when Angel called. It was if the lies were what was sustaining him. Conner was a warrior, he needed his mission. It seemed the mission he had adopted was making sure nothing disturbed his father's happiness, not even Conner's grave illness. Gunn supposed it was heroic, but how would Angel feel upon the inevitable revelation. Was Conner considering that? Or did the boy not think he would be here to deal with it? Gunn shook his head. He wouldn't allow himself to think like that, he couldn't.

…

Conner sat with his knees to his chest, his cheek resting against the cool stone wall. He heard shouting upstairs, but blocked it out. He could feel the energy in his blood, bones, and brain. It didn't intermingle with them. This was pure energy. It wanted to burn away what was in him, it wanted to burn away what was him. Was this anything like what had happened to Fred?

He heard footsteps. Conner knew who it was. "Conner,"

"Dad," Conner said in a croaking voice

Conner sensed him kneeling down in front of him. "Why?"

Conner didn't need to ask. "You were so happy."

"Conner you're my son. All that matters to me is keeping you safe."

"I know." He moaned "That's why I couldn't tell you. I couldn't mess things up for you again. I knew you couldn't be happy if you knew what was happening."

"What is happening?" Angel asked

"She's in here. She's pure, I'm not. She wants to get rid of me, take my place in this dimension." Conner opened his eyes and looked into his father's sorrowful ones. "I'm sorry."

"No Conner," Angel reached out and hugged his son.

"I'm so sorry." Conner began to cry.

"I just wish you had told me." Angel began to cry as well. "All those times we spoke on the phone and you were telling me about your classes, about your life, all of that was a lie?"

Conner nodded. "I was staying at the shelter with Anne and Gunn."

Angel squeezed his son, feeling the unhealthy heat. "I just want to be here for you Conner. I just want to be a father to you. Please let me do that."

"Okay," Conner said "I can't do this alone anyway."

"You will never be alone Conner." Angel promised

Three Months Ago

Conner felt the change coming. Even though he knew the thick walls and metal door of this room would keep him contained, he was afraid. He knew what other people heard when this happened. They heard screams and growls. They heard a powerful body throwing itself against the door and walls. The claws he sprouted dug furrows in the cement. What they didn't know was that the thing in him was strong enough to escape this room. The only reason it didn't was that its energies were distracted by its fight with Conner inside the boy's mind. He saw the world around him change. The walls were four-dimensional now. He saw its thickness as well as its height, length, and a fourth unknown quality. The air tasted like history. People had stood here before; before this was a shelter. People had cried and died here. Conner had tried to kill his father here. In the fifties a vampire with a soul had let a demon continue its reign of terror here.

Conner felt her come out. He heard her whisper in his ear. "Hello my child."

"I'm not yours."

"You exist in defiance of nature. You were prophesized to come to be to clear the way for me. I will take your place in this dimension, as it was never meant to be yours anyways."

"No," Conner blinked back tears. He saw the sounds of children getting ready for bed upstairs. He smelt their emotions. A girl was here after just running away from home. Her stepfather had tried to force himself on her. Conner could taste the salt in her tears. He could see her future. He could see her go back there, see the things that would happen. He could see that the Wolf thought it was very funny. She reveled in pain, came here to inflict it. If she took his place she would use it to hurt and destroy things, but she would allow humanity to continue. She loved humanity. They were her favorite snack food. She would let those girls continue forever.

"Yes,"

"Leave me alone." Conner saw blood running down the walls. The blood of everyone in this building. He saw arterial blood, a fountain of it. He saw a monster drink it. The monster inside him, the one that was trying to get rid of him. It wanted his place.

"You will never be alone Conner."


	5. What We Are

Faith stood in the living room at an angle where should could discreetly peek into the main bedroom. Fred was lying on the bed, fast asleep. Wesley was sitting on the bedside, cradling his infant child. Faith found herself smiling. He looked so happy, marveling at the tiny life in his arms. He stood up and left the room. Faith looked for something to pretend that she was doing. She heard the door gently shut, and then watched Wesley walk up to her. "Are you okay?" He asked her "And don't be all stoic and in denial, it's trite."

Faith smiled. She would have done just that to anybody else, lied, made a joke. She looked at the baby, small, soft, breakable. "Can I…" Faith blushed, unsure why.

"Here," Wesley showed her how to hold the baby. Faith felt a little sick. Holding the baby made her nervous, like she was going to hurt the child on accident.

"What's it like?" Faith asked

Wesley didn't need her to clarify. "Like falling in love, but without the selfish part. It's having someone to love unconditionally without needing anything back, because you just want them to be happy. It's terrifying, and amazing, and more complicated than I'm making it sound."

Faith grinned. "Wow Cordelia," Faith said "You're pretty special huh?" The baby didn't react to her name. She stared without purpose, not yet aware of the meanings of images, or scents or sounds. She was less than a week old and she was already loved by so many people. Yet she could not yet process any such concept. She was new. Faith found the idea very appealing. On impulse the kissed the baby's forehead. The child's face crinkled up and she began to cry. Faith was startled. She felt a strong sense of guilt. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"It's okay." He touched her arm. "She's a newborn, she'll cry for almost any reason."

"But I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't even be-" She tried to hand the baby back.

Wesley took the child, shushing her. The infant continued to cry, uninterested in her father's requests. Wesley looked at Faith's stricken face. "What is it?" He asked

"I shouldn't have done that. I'm-" She looked away, biting her lip.

"What?" Wesley asked "What are you?"

"Unclean," She whispered

Wesley gripped her shoulder. She continued to look away. "Faith look to me." She forced herself to look at him, to look into his eyes. They were filled with paternal concerned, but the concern wasn't directed at the crying baby, it was directed at her. "You're not unclean."

"I'm infected." She said

"That doesn't make you unclean. You're a good person Faith."

She gave him a wary grin. "But it's not enough is it? Being a good person can't erase the bad things I've done. It won't keep me safe from the Ram. It won't keep Conner safe from the Wolf. I can't wash away my past; I can't clean the inside of me."

Faith was taken completely by surprise when Wesley leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead the same way she'd kissed his baby. "Listen to me. We all have pasts. That doesn't determine who we are. All that matters is who you are now. You're a new person each day."

"I'm new," Faith mulled the words over. "Like her?" She gestured to the baby.

"Exactly,"

Thirteen Months Ago

Faith sat at her desk trying to talk to the stubborn woman sitting at the other side. "We have rules here Jennifer." Faith tried to explain "Being a slayer is about being part of a team."

Jennifer snorted. "Right, a team. We're not a team, we're your goon squad."

Faith clenched a fist under her desk where Jennifer couldn't see. Faith wasn't good at this part. She wasn't good at being understanding and insightful. But it was part of the job. "Jennifer, we are a team. We work together to accomplish our objectives and keep a lid on the hellmouth and the demonic activity it attracts. We never go on a solo mission without pre-approved-"

"There used to be only one slayer." Jennifer interrupted "So how can it be a team thing?"

"Well obviously it wasn't then." Faith said through gritted teeth "Things changed." She forced a smile on her face that looked as natural as plastic. "We do things differently now."

"So we don't kill people now?" Jennifer asked "Because I heard from one of the other girls that you used to kill people. I heard you got sent to jail for murder and broke out."

Faith stared at the woman in front of her. She knew it was stupid not to have a response prepared for a situation like this. It was bound to happen on occasion. It was hard to keep something like a felony murder conviction a secret. The only thing she could think of to say was the stupid obvious thing. "No Jennifer, we don't kill people."

Jennifer gave another unpleasant derisive snort. It was very unappealing, making her look like a pig. "I guess you aren't exactly qualified to judge my performance then huh?"

"Heh," Faith gave a fake laugh. "I guess not. I guess I'm not the person for the job. Do you want it? Do you think you could do what I do? I don't, but if you disagree..." Faith gestured to her office. "Take over Jenny, run all this. We'll see what you can make of it."

Jennifer scowled. "_Don't_ call me Jenny. I _hate_ being called Jenny."

"I don't care." Faith said in the most uninterested voice imaginable.

"Yeah, you don't. You don't care about anybody, so why should I?"

"You shouldn't." Faith said "You should do what I did. Don't care about anybody but yourself. Do whatever brings you pleasure or profit. Hurt people if they get in your way. I've already read this book though, so let's skip to the end. You end up with no friends, no one that cares if you live or die, and nothing to live for. I tried to end my life and one of the people I'd been the most rotten to of all saved me. Do you know what that was like for me?"

"Why should I care?" Jennifer asked "You're a bad person." Jennifer sat back in her chair with her arms crossed over her chest, confident in her moral superiority. She had a big cocky grin on her face. She was begging for a good rebuttal, certain there wasn't one.

"And what are you Jenny? A good person? You put your whole squad in danger. If one of them had gotten hurt, then what? What would make you any better than me?" Faith knew there was a big difference in the two crimes, and that the odds of any of the girls actually dying because of what Jenny had done was slim, but Faith was going for the dramatic touch.

Jenny shifted in her chair. She had lost her confidence. "I don't think I'm going to fit in here. I don't think I can follow someone like you, or work with a bunch of kids."

"They're the same age as you Jenny." Faith said

"But they're kids. They don't get what the world is really like out there."

"I do." Faith said "It's not always a good thing, that knowledge."

Jenny frowned. She looked away. "I can't do this."

"If I could, you can."

Jenny peeked at Faith. They locked eyes. "How do you do it? How do you get up every morning and go on like none of it ever happened? How do you forget?"

"I don't." Faith said "I never will."

…

Spike stood under the stream of hot water. It was hard getting access to the bathroom ever since their houseguests had shown up. Besides the bathrooms in the club which had no showers, the only bathrooms were the one upstairs in Teresa and Lorne's apartment, and the one down here that he and Harmony used. The building had gone from housing four people to housing twelve. The tripling in capacity showed. Spike knew it wouldn't take long for the tension to become palpable. He needed to get out of Caritas. He shut off the stream of water and then heard a pounding on the door. "Hurry up!" Harmony whined "I need the restroom!"

Spike considered lolly-gagging just to mess with her, but decided against it. There wasn't really anything for him to do in here anyway. Spike started for the door, intending to walk out fully nude. He remembered their eight house guests and grabbed a towel. Anybody could be outside that door. Spike wrapped the towel around himself and then threw the door open. "Right this way your majesty," He gestured into the lavatory. Harmony rolled her eyes. Spike walked past, bumping her shoulder. Spike headed for their room to get dressed.

After drying and clothing himself Spike left the room. As he walked down the hall he passed the room they'd chained Conner up in. Angel was sitting next to his son. The boy leaned against his father, sweating heavily and breathing shallowly. Spike flinched and picked up the pace. He went upstairs where Gunn, Anne, Lorne, and Teresa were at one of the tables, playing hearts. Gunn was losing. "I'm leaving." Spike informed them "Call me if something happens."

Lorne looked up from his hand. "Are you sure you should go?"

"Why should I stay? Do you need me for something?"

"We desire your good company." Teresa said "Come play with us."

"Four person game," Spike reminded her "I really do need to go out. If there's an emergency or the club burns down, just call me."

"In what universe is the club burning down not already an emergency?" Lorne asked

Spike was already halfway back down the staircase, heading for the sewer access. Spike sometimes wondered if the last year and a half in NY had domesticated him. The old Spike, whoever that was, wouldn't tell anyone he was leaving. He would just go. Spike knew it was important for them to communicate, but that was just it. Before he wouldn't have cared. Spike supposed part of it was spending so much time around Lorne and Teresa. Spike had complicated relationships. For most of the people in his life that were important to him the distinction between loving them and hating them was unclear. Yet the Pylean and his hybrid girlfriend were impossible to hate. They managed to avoid being pretty much everything that he personally disliked in someone. They weren't hypocrites, pretentious, or self-absorbed. Unlike Angel, Lorne and Teresa helped people in more subtle ways, with their psychic help. They didn't demand the title of champion, or brood over their lot in life. They were some of the only people he'd ever met who actually seemed to like their lot in life. The thing that annoyed Spike the most about Angel was definitely the brooding, and he's never seen the demon couple engage in the frustrating activity. Lorne didn't whine about his tortured past, Teresa didn't complain about the visions Cordelia sent her from the nether realm that alerted Spike of what evil needed to be fought nearby. They were both genuinely happy people who enjoyed their lives and made light of their problems. Also Teresa had a fluxing level of sanity which Spike had always found endearing as Drusilla could attest if he hadn't staked her. Even though the casual observer might peg his relationship with Harmony as highly dysfunctional (and be right) it was the healthiest relationship he'd ever had. It wasn't as if Drusilla or Buffy had been any better for his mental well-being. What he loved about Harmony was that he didn't, love her that is. He didn't hate her, sometimes he liked her; but he never loved her, and that was a bit of a relief.

So yeah, New York had mellowed him out a little. Was that such a bad thing? Spike didn't know. He looked around at the sewer tunnel walls. He'd been so absorbed in his thoughts he'd lost track of where he was going. Spike looked for the numbers that marked the different lines. His phone went off. Spike picked it up and his heart skipped a beat. It was Buffy again. He answered the phone and put it to his ear. "Spike's house of pain, how may I drink you?"

"I'm not in the mood Spike." Buffy said

"Sorry love, what can I do for you?"

"I need to talk to you, can you meet me at my hotel?" It was a difficult question. Buffy knew, and Spike knew she knew, but neither of them were acknowledging that she knew. Did she know that he knew she knew? Spike realized he'd just given himself a headache with his ridiculous circular thinking. What harm could it do to talk? It might help.

"Yeah sure, give me the address."

Eleven Months Ago

Spike knocked on the door of the small house. He checked the address on the piece of paper in his hand against the one over the door. An old man with a walker opened the door. He adjusted his spectacles to get a better view of Spike. "Spike's paranormal investigations?"

"Yep," Spike said "You said you have a demon problem?"

The old man nodded. He gestured for Spike to enter. "I do."

"Can I come in?" The gesture wasn't sufficient.

"Come in." The man said "It's nice to see a kid with manners for once."

"Well I'm older than I look." Spike said "Where's the demon?"

The old man pointed to a door in the kitchen. "Basement," He said "I told a friend of mine at work about this creature in my basement and he put me in touch with a guy that gave me your number. I want to keep this off the books. If my daughter finds out I hired a demon exterminator she'll put me in a home. She's always trying to put me in a home."

"Kids," Spike said

"Got any?" The man asked

Spike shook his head. "No, thankfully, but I've known a few. They're more trouble than they're worth if you ask me." He said

"Well I love her." The man said "She just drives me nuts. She's living in Jersey, _Jersey_."

"Terrible," Spike commiserated

"It looks like a giant frog."

"Jersey?"

"No," The old man said, giving Spike an odd look "The demon,"

"Oh," Spike mentally berated himself for his idiocy. "Right, shouldn't take a moment."

Spike descended into the basement. He immediately recognized the breed. You had to bisect the heart to kill them, but the heart was in a pouch in their throat coated in a fat sac that made it difficult to get at. It did indeed look like a giant sleeping frog. This breed tended to hibernate underground while they grew, then wake up and eat everything in sight. Right now it was about the size of a Volkswagen beetle, but at full size it would be more like a semi. The thing would keep expanding until it pushed so hard against the floor of the house it broke through. Of course Spike didn't intend to let it live that long. Spike walked up to the sleeping demon and drew his sword. The demon didn't wake. Spike cut its throat, releasing huge clumps of yellow fat from beneath its thick green hide. A scaly eyelid opened. The creature opened its huge maw and drew in a deep breath. It exhaled, sending yellow spit against the far wall. Spike poked through the fat sac with his sword, trying to find the heart.

"Oh my God!" Spike whirled around. A woman with dark brown hair and darker brown eyes stood there in shock, her chocolate eyes as wide as dinner plates. "I thought those were native to South America! How did one get so far north?" Spike was taken aback.

"What?"

"I've heard of migration patterns bringing some to the south end of the country, but New York? Someone at the watchers council is not doing their job if I haven't heard about this."

"You're a slayer?" Spike asked

"I'm sorry, where are my manners? I'm Eileen, but everyone calls me Jersey. You should too, because I stab people who call me Eileen." She held out her hand.

Spike reached out to shake it. She was wearing a charm bracelet and one of the charms was a cross. Spike didn't realize this until it had already touched his skin. He quickly drew back his hand. "Ow," He shook his hand to dispel the pain.

Jersey's eyes widened again. "You're a vampire."

"Yeah, but I have a soul. I'm a crusader for good and all-there you are you nasty little bugger!" Spike spotted a shriveled pink mass that looked like a piece of dried fruit slip out of the demon along with a wave of fat. Spike swung his sword, cutting it neatly in half. "Sorry, where-"

Spike had to dive out of the way to avoid Jersey's stake. "I can't believe my dad let a vampire in the house. I mean he doesn't know they exist, but still."

"Are you bleeding mad?!" Spike shouted

"Um vampire slayer," Jersey pointed at herself. "Vampire," She pointed at Spike.

"I have a soul! I'm one of the good guys! You can look me up, I used to date your boss."

Jersey was visually taken aback by this. "I didn't know Mr. O'Hara was a-"

"Not-!" Spike sighed. "His boss, Buffy the vampire slayer."

"Ohhhh," Jersey said "That makes more sense. Not a whole lot more sense, but-"

"Just look me up." Spike said "Spike, William the- just look me up."

Jersey laughed. "You really think I'm going to let a vampire with a standing invitation into my father's home just walk out of here alive? You must be crazy."

Spike sighed again. He should charge extra for this. He pulled out his cell phone. "Crazy slayers trying to kill me, demon fat, not a good day." He muttered to himself as he dialed Buffy.

"Who are you calling?"

Spike ignored her, waiting for Buffy to answer. "Hello- oh hey Angel," Spike was visibly disappointed. "Can you put Buffy- Well how long is that going to take? Sixteen vamps and she didn't bring back up? So let them handle it and put her on the phone. It's an emergency. Yes a real emergency, one of her slayers wants to kill me. No! Angel I'll kick your bleeding-Buffy. It is important for your information. I need you to talk to one of your slayers." Spike held the phone out to Jersey, "It's for you." She hesitated. "Go on, take it."

"Hello," Jersey said "Wow, it's an hon- uh-huh. Oh I see. Okay. Got it. Nice to-" Jersey looked at the phone in her hand. "That was weird." She tossed it back to Spike.

"Right well, you can clean this up." Spike headed back upstairs.

The old man was waiting there. "I see you met my daughter." He said "Did you think of a good cover story for the demon?" The man asked

"She knows." Spike said "That'll be two hundred for the extermination." The old man pulled his wallet out and handed Spike the money. "Have a nice day-night-whatever." Spike headed back to Caritas. He was sick of slimy demons. He wanted a nice clean vampire to dust.

…

"How did the first look like you?" Dawn asked

Giles was sitting at a desk in the suite they'd gotten at a hotel for the duration of their stay in the big apple. Buffy was in the lobby downstairs waiting for Spike. Willow and Xander were acting as backup, staying out of sight, but watching the proceedings. Buffy hadn't thought she needed backup, but it couldn't hurt and she had yielded to that logic. Robin and Kennedy were playing Gin at the coffee table. Giles turned his chair to face Dawn. "I don't know."

She looked upset. "Doesn't it bother you? I mean can the first look like anyone now?"

Giles shook his head. "The first can only adopt the appearance of those who have died."

"Then what's going on?" Dawn asked

"Perhaps I had an accident as a child my parents never told me about where my heart briefly stopped. If I was young enough I wouldn't remember, and they would have no reason to tell me about something so traumatic." Giles rubbed his temple. "It doesn't really matter."

"If that's true, why didn't the first choose to look like you before?"

Giles shrugged. "Perhaps he wanted to save the look for a special occasion. It knew we didn't know it had access to my form, so he could surprise us with it. Angel probably thought he was actually talking to me. Anyone would have if they'd seen it. I myself was quite stunned."

"I can't imagine what it's like to have to look at that thing and see yourself."

Giles nodded. It had been… terrible. It had also been confusing and disheartening. It made his feel tainted somehow. "It probably did that to Wesley and his wife as well."

Dawn flinched. "It's weird, fighting them. I mean, they're our friends, sort of. Angel was always talking to them, they asked him and Buffy to be their baby's Godparents. Whenever she went to the doctor she sent Angel a sonogram. I thought that was adorable, that she did that…"

Giles looked at Dawn with sympathy. "I know this is hard for you. It's hard for everyone I'm sure. Nobody wants it to be like this, but if we don't stop the senior partners-"

Dawn finished for him. "It will all have been a waste." She wore her determination on her face. "I know. We have to stop them with any means necessary, even if that means…"

Giles nodded. "Any means necessary," He turned back to his paperwork. If Dawn had glanced at it she would have seen it was his medical file. He could find no reference to ever having been technically dead. Giles collected the papers and straightened the pile. It was a mystery, one he intended to solve. He had to know how the first had been able to do this.

Ten Months Ago

Spike was patrolling the industrial district looking for a vampire nest when he heard someone approaching him. This person was subtle, skilled. He turned around and caught a glimpse of Jersey. "What are you doing here?" Spike asked

She responded by pulling out a stake. Spike dodged her blow. "I looked you up like you said, William the Bloody. You're a monster, you've killed two of my ilk before."

Spike backed up as she closed in on him. "That was a long time ago."

"So what?" She asked "You killed Nikki Wood in this very city. Is that why you came back, to relive the glory days? Well this is one slayer you won't drink."

"You've got it all wrong pet." Spike said "I have a soul now, I'm one of the good guys."

"Yeah, and I'm Angeline Jolie."

"I can kind of see it." Spike said as he dodged another blow. "A little taller and a little skinnier and you'd be a dead ringer." He jumped onto a dumpster and then pulled himself onto a windowsill. He leapt from there to the roof of the building. Jersey wasn't far behind.

"Any last words monster?" Jersey asked

"Yeah," Spike kicked her in the face. She reeled back. "Piss off."

She regained her balance and attacked again. Spike barely managed to avoid the killing blow this time and got a stake rammed into his shoulder. "I read up on you, the things you've done. I don't care if you've changed, or who you know. You need to be punished."

Spike shoved Jersey. She lost her balance and almost toppled over the side of the building. Spike grabbed her neck, stopping her fall, but causing her immense discomfort. "Listen to me you little bitch." He said "I should kill you. You think I'd spare you because of some atonement or mercy garbage? Think again. I'm going to let you live, but if I ever see you in my city again I will kill you. I won't feel bad about it. Got it?" He tossed her onto the roof.

She got to her feet, rubbing her neck. They locked eyes. Jersey ran off.

…

Spike spotted Xander sitting discreetly in the corner with a suitcase in front of him, holding up a newspaper. That meant red was probably nearby as well. He headed for the couch across from the armchair Buffy was sitting in. "You don't trust me?"

"I just wanted to talk." She said in her best innocent voice

"I'm talking about Xander and Willow." He hoped Willow was there or he was going to look like a jackass. "What do you think I'm going to do?"

"You saw Willow? I'm impressed." Spike smirked. "They're just here to watch you."

"Why?" Spike asked

"You might give something away, let us know where they are."

"I don't know where they are." Spike said

"You've always had a weird attitude toward her, what are you in love with her?"

Spike was genuinely taken aback by the question. "With Fred?"

"Willow told me how desperate you were to save her, how sincere your concern was."

"She was nice to me." Spike said "I don't have to want to bang a woman to be interested in her well-being. I have a soul now you know." Spike thought of something. "It's how I feel about Dawn. I love her in a way, but I'm not in love with her."

Buffy was taken aback by the comparison, but she forged ahead. "So you would protect her?" She asked "If Fred asked you to, you would hide her and her husband."

"There's no love lost between me and him, he doesn't trust me." Spike wasn't sure if he could convince Buffy that he was telling the truth, but he was going to give it his best shot.

"But Fred does, right?"

"She's trusting by nature." Spike said

Buffy reached in her pocket. "Hey did you get one of these?" She held up the sonogram Fred had sent Angel, suddenly switching topics. Spike recognized the sonogram. Fred sent them to Caritas as often as she did to Angel, addressed to all four of them.

"Yeah,"

"Really?" Buffy looked kind of surprised. "Is she cute?"

"The baby?" Buffy nodded. "I guess, I mean it's just a sonogram."

"The actual baby," Buffy let her exasperation with his charade bleed into her voice. "I know they're at Caritas. It must be fun for you, putting up Angel, being his savior."

"Why?" Spike asked suspiciously "What do you mean?" Was it possible that Angel had told her about the senior partners' manipulations? Spike wouldn't have thought so.

"He's so used to being the hero, now he's just a mortal, and a fugitive."

Spike nodded, so that was it. Well it was true enough. "From you. How does that feel?"

Buffy frowned. To his surprise she answered with sincerity. "Bad William, it feels bad."

Spike was taken aback by her candor. "I'm sorry."

Sensing his vulnerability, Buffy went in for the kill. "Did you mean what you said about Dawn?" Spike nodded. He knew where this was going, but that didn't make him any less susceptible to it. "But you're willing to allow the apocalypse that will kill her to happen?"

"Buffy it isn't that simple."

"I didn't tell Angel what all the prophecy said, I didn't want to hurt him. I'll tell you though, if you want me to. I'll tell you what it says about her." Spike waited, his silence asking the question. "She that is born to those who have died but are dead no longer will be known when she kills the slayer who awakened all the potentials. When all the portents have come to pass the fate of the world is sealed, and only death may prevent the portents."

Spike couldn't move. The revelation was turning about in his mind. "She's just a baby."

"We were all once just children. We grew up, became other things."

"She's innocent."

"Every dictator, serial killer, and mass murderer was once an innocent child. Yet there are few who would not go back and snuff out their lives before they got a chance to commit those crimes if the option were available. It rarely is, but we have a chance here to stop all of this before it happens. We can stop the end of the world. We might not even have to hurt anybody. It could just be a simple spell. We might only have to kill one, or the ones already infected."

"I hated him." Spike said out of nowhere "I hated him because you loved him. But you're willing to murder his only child. You talk about it like doing laundry. If that's your love Buffy, I don't want it. I'm better off alone, or with someone I don't love, than I am with your love."

Buffy reacted as though she'd been slapped. She stood up and backed away. Her eyes hardened and chilled. Where was the Buffy he'd known? This wasn't her. "You're a fool."

Spike stood up. "Maybe, maybe I'm a fool. But I know the difference between right and wrong. I made wrong my religion for over a hundred years. This, this is what it is."

"You think you're better than me?" Buffy said "After everything you've done? You've committed more crimes against humanity than I can even comprehend. You've spent more time killing people than I've been alive. You murdered two slayers. You think _you're_ better than _me_?"

"No," Spike said "I'm not better than you, but at least I know who I am."

Spike headed for the lobby doors. "I know who I am!" She called after him "I know what I am!" A few people turned to stare at her and she flushed. Spike stopped at the door and turned to look at her. Buffy looked at all the people in the lobby. She didn't care. "I'm the slayer."

Spike nodded. "Funny, I thought you were _a_ slayer, a vampire slayer at that." He shrugged. "Guess I was wrong, see you around Buffy." He left, walking under the rain shelter to the parking garage, which had sewer access. She knew now, even if she hadn't before.

Nine Months Ago

"You understand what you're being accused of?" Buffy asked the computer monitor

"Yes," The sullen voice at the other end said. "I do."

"You went after an unauthorized target. We have only the unverified report of your superior, which isn't enough for a conviction without an account from the-"

"I did it." The pale dark-haired woman said. "I tried to kill the bloodsucker."

"Even though you knew he was an unauthorized target?" Buffy asked

"Yeah," Jersey said "I knew, I just didn't care. He deserved to die."

Buffy frowned. "I'm afraid you don't get to make those calls. We can't allow one of our slayers to operate outside the rules and guidelines set by the council." Buffy said

Jersey's hateful glare was beamed from her laptop to a satellite in outer space, back down to earth into Buffy's laptop. "I disagree with those rules and guidelines."

"That's not your call to make." Buffy said "We can't allow slayers to kill anybody they want to. Our job is so protect the innocent, not go on insane vengeance missions."

"Then I think you and I have incompatible goals."

"I suppose so." Buffy said "Understand that even if you leave the council you will still be expected to follow our rules in respect to the acceptability of targets. If you attack the innocent we'll have to take you down. We can't allow a rogue slayer to be meeting out vigil ante justice."

"I'll do what I have to do, and you do the same." Buffy's screen went dark when Jersey hung up. Buffy sighed, she hated this part of the job. Buffy lay out on the couch, thinking about the report she'd gotten. Why hadn't she heard about this from Spike? Why had he protected the girl who had tried to kill him? Didn't he realize this kind of break-down in ranks was toxic to the kind of discipline she was trying to install in her organization? She heard the door open.

"Guess who's making authentic an Italian pasta dish tonight?" Andrew asked

Buffy grinned. Well life wasn't all bad. Work might be stressful, but at least she never had to cook or clean her apartment. She kept promising Angel she'd get rid of Andrew, but it was such a sweet deal. His usefulness well outweighed his annoyingness. "You are?"

"Correctamundo!" Andrew shouted "That's Italian for correct."

…

Angel walked up to the apartment over Caritas. Harmony, Faith, Anne, Gunn, Lorne, and Teresa were all in the living room. Faith stood up the second Angel entered the room. "How is he?" Angel found her concern touching, it helped ease his foul mood.

"Sick, really sick. I…" Gunn got up to let Angel have his seat on the couch. Angel didn't bother to protest. He felt drained both emotionally and physically. "I can't believe this is real."

"I'm sorry Angel." Anne said

Angel shook his head. "How are Wes and Fred?"

"Asleep," Faith said

"And healing," Lorne added "I got a good read on their auras, they should be tip top in no time. Speaking of which, does anyone want to guess how Illyria is back."

"Not really," Angel said "But we should I guess."

"The first is behind it obviously." Gunn said

"Or the Hart." Angel said "She seemed pretty confident when we left her hell."

"I hate that bitch." Faith said

"The Hart or Illyria?" Gunn asked

"Both,"

Teresa spoke up. "Illyria is in pain."

"Oh gee, poor Illyria," Angel snapped "I guess I should really cut the murdering psychotic old one who shattered Wesley's ribs and tried to kill us a break."

"Hey now," Lorne said "Let's not start fighting amongst ourselves, there is enough of that going around. I think we all agree Illyria is a problem." Teresa stood up and left the room.

"If we kill her again will she stay dead this time?" Faith asked

"Easier said than done." Angel said "You didn't exactly send her running last time."

"I'm just asking." Faith said

Teresa walked up to Angel and held out a muffin. "You need a muffin."

"I don't need to be cheered up." Angel said "And if I did muffins wouldn't do the job."

"I'm not trying to cheer you up. You need energy. Your body will convert the calories in this muffin into energy which will allow your body to continue functioning."

Angel took the muffin from her claws. "Thanks," He bit into the blueberry muffin.

"I think we should avoid Illyria, not confront her." Gunn said "If she's even stronger than she was before there is no way we can take her. Does she have all her old powers?"

"I don't think so." Angel said "She didn't manipulate time. I think her powers were given to her by the Hart, not her old powers restored. I hope so anyway."

"Why?" Anne asked

"Because before Illyria lost much of her original power she was unstoppable. The only reason she didn't kill everything that crossed her path was because…" He let the sentence die.

"Because of Wesley," Gunn finished

"Was she in love with him?" Anne asked

"I don't know." Angel said "I think it was more complicated than that."

"Especially towards the end." Gunn said "When he died she was really upset."

"She loved him, but it's not like you're thinking." Teresa said

Angel remembered that back in L.A. Teresa had heard Illyria screaming and Illyria's memories had been forced into her head. It had driven the woman insane until Buffy shared her memory of paradise and allowed Teresa to overcome the insanity. Angel had sort of figured that meant she had forgotten what she'd seen. Apparently not. "Do you still remember her life?" If she did Teresa might be able to share one of Illyria's weaknesses.

"I remember everything, it's part of my physiology."

"Do you remember anything useful?"

"She's not Illyria anymore." Teresa said "She's something else now."

"What?"

"New," Faith realized "She's new."

"That's right." Teresa said "She has changed, become other than what she was."

"But what is that?" Angel asked "Details,"

"That's up to her." Teresa said "She has to decide."

"When you say she loved him but it's not what we think, what do you mean?" Faith said

"There are many different kinds of love. There is romantic love, the love between brothers and sister, the love between parents and their children, the love between friends, the love of convenience, the love of admiration; but all of these are rare. Most loves are unique, some combination of the above mixed with parts of the lovers' unique personalities. But Illyria isn't human, and her love is alien to humanity even though it is influenced by it."

"Are you talking about Fred?" Gunn asked "When her humanity was in Illyria?"

"In a way," Teresa said "People internalize things. When we adopt an idea we make it a part of who we are. People usually apply their ethics to their decision-making, people who love animals sometimes don't eat meat, teetotalers usually don't drink, and academics devote time to researching their fields. We become the things that we believe in. Illyria did love Wesley because Fred loved him, but that doesn't make it less real because she internalized that love."

"And now she wants to kill him." Angel said "That doesn't seem like love."

"Angelus loved Buffy." You could hear a pin drop in the room as everyone stared at the demonic hybrid who had said those damning words. Lorne's mouth was hanging open. He couldn't believe she had said that. It was so unlike her to be cruel.

Faith stepped in front of Teresa, towering over her. They were all aware of what the slayer was capable of. "You shut your mouth about things you know nothing about."

"I'm not trying to be hurtful." Teresa explained "I just need you to understand, because it's very important. You need to know how she feels."

"You're wrong." Angel finally summoned the strength to say "Angelus hated Buffy."

"Angelus is dead." Teresa said gently "You earned his death with your good works, you are free of him now. But still you remember what he was, and you know that I am-"

"I don't." Angel cut her off. "The memories have started to fade. I can barely remember my siring anymore. The years of torment are fading away. I don't have the good memory of a vampire anymore, I have a normal human memory, so things are fading."

"But you do remember Sunnydale." Teresa said "You understand how different creatures feel love. Love is not always good, pure, or healthy. It is rarely as simple as either being or not being those things. Illyria did love Wesley and although her love for him has never done him any good, it did have a humanizing effect on her. That can be seen as good or bad. She had humanity while she loved him, and if she still loves him, she stills has humanity."

"She doesn't." Faith said "She tried to kill him."

"That's what I'm trying to tell you." Teresa didn't sound exasperated, she sounded like a patient schoolmarm explaining a difficult concept. "That doesn't mean she doesn't love him. She could love him in a similar way to how Angelus loved Buffy, or how you loved her once."

Faith slapped Teresa. "Hey!" Lorne grabbed the slayer's hand and she easily shook it off.

"Shut. Up."

"I'm sorry." Teresa said "I'm really not trying to-"

"Maybe we should go downstairs." Gunn said

"That's a good idea." Said Anne

Angel, Faith, Gunn, and Anne headed to the stairs. "Are you coming Lorne?" Gunn asked

"Please go," Teresa said "They need you."

Lorne hesitated, but followed his friends. "What about me?" Harmony asked when they left "Don't they need me?"

"Yes," Said Teresa "But I need you more."

"Really?!" Harmony sounded excited "Thanks!" Harm sat on the couch next to Teresa.

"Of course I need you." Teresa said "You're my best friend."

"Really?" Harmony asked again

"Except for Lorne, and popular culture says your boyfriend and best friend can't be the same person, so that makes you my best friend." Teresa told her

"You're my best friend too." Harmony said

"I know." Teresa sighed "I didn't want to hurt them. I knew that it would. I knew that what I was trying to do, trying to make happen, might not even work. It probably won't work, but I had to try for that slim chance." Teresa said

"Because it might work?" Harmony asked

"I wish that were true. I wish I could lie to myself. But it was just…" She laughed, a resigned, bitter laugh. "I wanted to see if I could, if I had the power to manipulate fate."

"Do you?" Harmony asked

"To an extent." Teresa said

"What were you trying to do?" Harmony asked

"Save Illyria," Teresa explained "Save… But the future is confusing."

"What do you see?" Harmony asked

"There are so many different paths and variables constantly shifting. But there is one moment I see with perfect clarity. I see all the possible outcomes. I see the best possible outcome. I can save them, a little bit, for a little while."

"Will you?"

"Yes, that's why she chose me."

"Cordelia?"

Teresa seemed to lose interest in the conversation. "Let's play cards."

Ten Months Ago

Teresa screamed. She sat up in bed, crying out in terror. Lorne was roused from his sleep and grabbed her shoulders. "Teresa!" He shook her. "What is it?" She was trembling like a leaf.

"I-" She got out of bed and headed for the bedroom door. "Nothing,"

"That wasn't nothing." Lorne said "That was Terror. You're aura is flashing bright red."

"It was just a nightmare, about something I once saw."

Teresa left the room, heading for the entryway to the apartment. 'Wait," Lorne said

"I need to go downstairs for a minute." Teresa said "Be right back," She headed down to the empty bar in her PJs. It was so late it was almost early, dawn was approaching. That's why it wasn't strange that Spike returned at that moment. He came through the front and headed straight for the bar to pour himself a drink. "Hey," She said

"I don't usually see you up this late, unless you're up early."

She shook her head. "I had a bad dream."

"Me too," Spike said "Only it was real."

"Tell me." Teresa said

"Rogue slayer tried to kill me, not a fun time." Spike said "But I'm…"

"You're…"

"I'm not like him." Spike said without further elaboration.

She didn't need it. "You shouldn't be."

"I feel like everyone expects me to be. I'm supposed to take over for him or something. I don't want that. I don't want to be anything like Angel, and I don't want to atone for my sins. I don't feel like I should feel guilty, and I don't. I didn't have a soul when I did the things I did before. When I got my soul I chose to do the right thing, not wander for a century until I met some hot chick to break my out of my slump. I'm not Angel. But I'm not who I was before either. I'm not a man, not really a vampire. I'm just…"

"You're you, you're whoever you want to be." Teresa said "You get to decide."

"Yeah," Spike knocked back a drink. "You want one?"

"No I'm going back to bed." Teresa said

"What about you?"

"What about me?" Teresa asked

"What was your dream?"

"People were scared and dying." Teresa said "Good night Spike." She headed upstairs.

"Night,"


	6. A Line in the Sand

Faith was trembling with rage. "Who does she think she is?"

Angel saw Lorne's grimace of pain. He empathized. "Let's focus on Illyria."

"Illyria is the least of your problems." Spike walked up the basement stairs.

"There's nothing we can do about Buffy for the moment." Angel said

"She's in town." Spike said "She gave me a call while I was out."

"What did she say?" Faith asked

"Turn over Conner, Faith, and the baby of the whole world goes kerblooy." Spike said

"Anything else?" Angel asked

"That's the run of it." Spike said "She made it pretty clear she's not buying into the 'I haven't seen them' sham. Shouldn't be long before she shows up."

"But the sanctorum spell will protect us right?" Gunn asked

"It's only on the ground floor, where the club is." Lorne explained "The apartment upstairs and the rooms in the basement are violence available, and downstairs has sewer access."

"So Buffy can subdue someone down there and get them out without having to cross through the no-violence zone." Angel said "Great,"

"But Buffy doesn't know that." Anne said "She might assume the spell is on the whole building. If we act like it is, she won't know any different."

"Good idea," Angel said

"Maybe we should move Conner to this floor." Gunn said

"Bad idea," Said Spike "Kid's shaking something awful. I think anything weaker than those cement walls and he'll be able to pull those chains right out if he changes."

Angel reluctantly agreed. "We can't risk everybody's safety. If he escapes down here and goes upstairs while under the Wolf's influence he could kill someone."

They all nodded. "So back to Illyria," Lorne said "You remember her?"

"Our main problem is Buffy." Faith said "We can't underestimate her."

"What about the first?" Gunn said "It showed up to all of us and tried to mess with Angel at the hospital, clearly it wants to mess with us too."

"The first is noncorporeal." Angel said "It can't _do_ anything."

"It made Fred go into premature labor." Anne said

Angel rubbed his forehead. "I'm getting a headache."

"Sleep deprivation," Said Lorne "That'll get you."

"Go downstairs." Spike said "Sleep in my room, you'll be close to Conner."

Angel wanted to protest, but who was he kidding? He didn't have vampire endurance anymore, he was just a guy. He was a tired, battered, anxious guy. "Thanks,"

Gunn rubbed his brow. "I hate to be the guy to say this, but we're weak."

"What do you mean?" Faith asked

"That spell is the only thing keeping us safe. If it fails, we're screwed. We're facing threats way too powerful for us. You, Spike and I guess Harmony are the only ones with any sort of special fighting ability. The rest of us stand no chance against a slayer or Illyria."

"But we have the spell." Said Lorne

"The thing about putting all your eggs in one basket, a lot of pressure on that basket."

For a while no one said anything. Faith looked around the room. She wasn't worried about herself, not really. She was worried about her infection, but since she was still asymptomatic it was easy to think of her infection as some future threat, not present in the here and now. What she was worried about were her friends. She wanted to protect them, and she wasn't sure if she could. Angel and Wesley had both believed in her at points in her life when no one else did, not even Faith herself. Those men meant more to her than anything. Their safety, and by extension their families' safety, was the most pressing matter on her mind.

"So what do we do?" Anne asked

"The best we can." Said Spike

Footsteps on the apartment staircase drew their attention. "Spike we have to go." Harm said "There's a cursed artifact in a museum downtown that's going to release an undead army."

"Great," Spike said without a trace of irony "Let's go."

The rest of the group watched the vampires go. Gunn sighed. "I hate this."

"What part specifically?" Lorne asked "There are several hateables."

"Not being able to do anything. I wish we could go out and…" Gunn had a sudden realization. "Hey Spike! Wait for me!" Gunn ran toward the basement.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me." Anne said "No-" She headed after him. "Gunn!"

Faith shook her head. "I'm going upstairs."

Lorne didn't respond and the slayer headed up to the top floor. She was greeted by the pleasant surprise of seeing Fred, up and about. Fred picked up a mug of cider Teresa had poured for her. "Mmmm, warm," Fred noticed Faith. "Oh I'm glad to see you."

"Why?" Faith asked

"I don't think I ever gave you a proper thank you." Fred said "For saving us."

"Don't mention it." Faith said, and to bring the message home "Please, ever,"

Fred nodded. "Sorry, I should have- come sit down." Fred gestured to the other barstool at the kitchen counter. Faith walked over and sat next to her. "Any news?"

"The world is ending again," Faith said in an attempt at levity "It's not really news but…" Teresa chuckled and Fred grinned. Faith likes seeing her smile and that look in her eyes that was something Faith couldn't quite place. It was something like approval.

"And you?" Fred asked "You're okay?"

"I should ask you that." Faith said

"I'm good. They gave me antibiotics that won't hurt Cordelia. I'm recovering. Wesley's good as well, he says his ribs don't hurt at all, which is a lie, but he says it convincingly so I know they only hurt a little bit. He's asleep and so's the baby. Teresa made a crib for her."

"Where'd you learn to do that?" Faith asked

"I read a carpenter once, got his vocational training." Teresa poured Faith a mug.

"Is that why you're so good at cards, you read a card shark?" Faith asked

Teresa lowered her voice. "Tell no one." The other two women laughed.

"Can all married couples do that?" Faith asked "Tell what each other really mean?"

"I think it has more to do with being in love than being married." Faith flinched at the word, remembering what Teresa had said. Faith had been furious at the woman, and the only reason she wasn't being resentful now was because of how glad she'd been to see Fred up and about. But the word reminded her of what had been said. "What is it?" Fred asked

"Nothing, I'm fine." Faith said

"I did a bad thing." Teresa said "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"What happened?" Fred asked

Faith and Teresa both declined to answer. Finally Faith spoke up. "I hate love." Neither of the other women responded, but their silence beckoned an explanation. "I let myself love someone and he betrayed me. I guess after everything I've done it's no more than I-"

"Don't say it Faith." Fred said "You don't deserve this."

"Do you know what I did?"

"I do." Faith looked into Fred's eyes and saw to her surprise that Fred did know. Wesley must have told her. Faith saw in those eyes compassion and understanding. "We all make mistakes Faith." Fred said "No one is beyond redemption, so long as they can forgive."

Eighteen Months Ago

"You lied to my parents?!" Fred screamed at Wesley in their San Francisco hotel room

"Yes, I did do that." He admitted "But it was complicated."

"You promised me! You promised me that you would tell them what happened!"

"I tried." He said "I was going to."

"So what happened?"

Wesley looked away. He was ashamed. He couldn't face her wrath, knowing it was well deserved. He had sworn to her as she lay dying that he would tell her parents she had died bravely, and he had tried to do just that. But then Illyria showed up and how could Wesley tell the Burkles their daughter was dead with the monster who had killed her standing right in front of them? How could he watch their despair, anger, and disgust? It would be like holding a mirror up to himself, and Wesley had been avoiding mirrors at the time. "I'm so sorry."

"Why didn't you tell them?" The anger bled out of her, she just sounded confused and hurt. He hated hearing her sound like that, especially knowing he was the one who had hurt her.

"I…" He just had to tell her the truth. "I did a terrible thing Fred."

"What is it?" She asked "You can tell me."

"I don't want you to hate me." Wesley said "I'm so sorry for what I did."

"I believe you." Fred said "I love you, and I can forgive you, but only if you're honest with me. You can't lie to me Wesley, ever, for any reason."

Wesley nodded. "I won't, ever again. I promise."

"So tell me what happened."

"Illyria…" Wesley rubbed his temple. "She was there." He told her everything. He told her about his deal with Illyria. He told her about Illyria's interaction with her parents. He even told her about how he died. He didn't want to, but he had promised not to lie. He was sure she would hate him, be disgusted with him, when she found out. She wasn't. She walked up to him and kissed him. He kissed her back, confused. "I'm so sorry Fred." He said

"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but it's over now. She's gone, and we're together. We'll always be together. All of that, it is in the past, it can't hurt us now."

…

A knock at the door startled Lorne from his inventory. "We're closed!" He shouted "You can come back tonight!" He turned back to the liquor bottles and started over his count.

"Open the door or I'll break it down!" Buffy shouted

Lorne dropped his clipboard. Gunn and Anne were the only other occupants of the room at the moment. Anne ran downstairs to inform Spike, Harmony and Angel. Gunn walked over to the stairs that led upstairs. "Hey guys, we have a situation!"

Lorne walked up to the door and opened it. "Can I help you with something?"

Buffy had Xander standing at her left with his arms crossed. The man looked calm, but his body was tense. He was prepared to enter a fight in a moment. Willow was on Buffy's right hand side. The witch exuded confidence. Kennedy and Giles stood behind Willow. Dawn and Robin stood behind Xander. Buffy herself wore the stance of a slayer. She was terrifying in her strength, in the power that ran in her blood and took seat in her muscles. Lorne knew it would only take her seconds to kill him. The other times he'd met her this hadn't frightened him. He'd seen her as a benevolent force, a savior. Now she was here to hunt. "Where are they?" She asked

Lorne shrugged. "I don't-" Buffy reached forward to grab his throat and Lorne retreated further into Caritas. Buffy followed him and when her hand had almost made contact with his neck a burst of blue energy threw her a few steps back. The force would have sent a grown man flying, it only perturbed the slayer. "I don't know." Lorne said "Not here," He gestured around the now-empty room. "But thanks for stopping by. It was real good to see ya."

"How do you know who I was talking about?" Buffy asked

Lorne tittered nervously. "Who were you talking about?"

"Xander you and Dawn check out that back room." She pointed and they obeyed.

"Hey," Lorne said "You can't-"

"Robin check downstairs with Kennedy." They headed for the basement.

"Hey," Lorne's voice was sharper now. "This isn't-"

"Will, Giles, check upstairs." They started forward.

"HEY!" Lorne screamed "This is my place, you can't do this."

Buffy ignored Lorne. Robin and Kennedy returned from the basement. "He's down there." Kennedy said "Chained to the wall, sick as a dog. Spell keeps us from getting through the bodyguards." They resumed their positions behind Buffy.

Buffy gave Lorne a smug look. "Care to change your story."

Lorne found himself unable to call upon his usual genial demeanor. "No, get the hell out of my club. You have no right to do this, even if you are the chosen one."

"I have every right." Buffy said "I'm preventing the apocalypse."

Willow and Giles returned at the same time as Dawn and Xander. "Faith and the baby are upstairs." Giles said

Buffy smiled wider. "So, gang's all here." Lorne glared, but didn't reply. "It looks like we need to have a little talk." Buffy said "What's that fancy word?" She asked

"Palaver?" Giles suggested

Buffy snapped her fingers. "That's the one."

…

Fred, Wesley, and Faith sat at the kitchen table while Teresa walked over with a pot of oatmeal, the smell of cinnamon and apples radiating from it. "This is a family recipe." She said

"Your family's?" Faith asked skeptically

"No," Teresa said in her usual cheerful voice. "Someone I read."

"Of course," Wesley said "Smells good,"

The assembled heard shouting downstairs. Gunn called out from the bar. "Hey guys we have a situation!" He burst into the apartment. "The scoobies are here."

"We knew this would happen." Wesley said "We just have to be calm."

"Maybe you guys should hide." Faith said

"No," Fred said "I'm going to look them in the eyes."

Wesley gripped Fred's shoulder. "If they know we're here, there isn't much point in pretending. Maybe there is the opportunity for reasonable discourse."

Faith snorted. "Yeah, because the Scooby gang has been super reasonable lately."

The door opened again. Willow and Giles stepped into the apartment. "Willow," Wesley said "How nice to see you again. It's been too long." Willow blushed. "Giles,"

"Wesley," Giles crossed him arms. "How have you been?"

"I've been better." The former watcher confessed "How about you? I heard you joined the club. When did that happen?" Giles scowled, declining to respond.

"Wes, Fred…" Willow trailed off. "You heard about the prophecy?"

"Not from you or Buffy." Wesley said

Willow flinched. Giles was less cowed. "What would you have done if we'd told you?"

"That depends on whether you still wanted to kidnap people." Faith said

"So you want to be free Faith?" Giles asked "You want to be unbound. You're still supposed to be in prison, doing twenty-five years for murder."

"That isn't necessary." Fred said "You're being cruel just to be cruel."

"I'm being honest." Giles said "Come on Willow, let's tell Buffy they're here."

…

The way it ended up was that a table in the middle of the room seated Buffy with her back to the front door. Willow sat at her right, Xander at her left. Angel sat across from Buffy, with this back to the staircase. Wesley sat across from Willow, Faith sat across from Xander. The tension at the table could be cut with a knife. Xander and Faith stared at one another, neither able to shake the image of how he'd tried to abduct her a few days ago. Angel and Buffy were meeting face to face for the first time since Buffy had teleported to Texas while Angel went to Cleveland. Willow was fidgeting uncomfortably under Wesley's accusing glare.

Spike sat at a table deeper into the bar, with Lorne, Teresa, Anne, Gunn and Fred. On the other side of the center table Giles, Dawn, Kennedy, and Robin were sitting. Harmony was upstairs watching the baby. Nobody wanted to be the first person to speak, so silence reigned for a few minutes. Buffy was finally the first to speak. She spoke with unquestionable authority.

"It appears we have a problem, and a difference of opinion concerning that problem."

"Your talent for understatement is remarkable." Wesley said

Buffy didn't even look at him, she just kept staring at Angel. "So here we are then."

"Yep," Angel said

"You know we'll win. We're stronger than you and we have more recourses." Said Buffy

"It's not a game to be won or lost." Angel objected "It's people's lives. You're talking about hurting innocent people, you're talking about my son, and your friend, and a _baby_."

Buffy shrugged. "They're just people."

Angel stared slack-jawed at her. "What?" He asked

"We don't get to make these calls. Do you remember telling me that?" Faith asked

"I do." Buffy said "You didn't listen."

"I'm listening now, so tell us how this is going to be."

Buffy smiled at her. "Okay," She surveyed the room. "Willow is going to do a spell. She is going to see if there's a way to stop the process of the infection without hurting anyone."

Angel nodded. "That's fine."

Buffy leaned forward in Faith's direction. She locked eyes with her fellow slayer. "If there isn't a way, we're going to slit your throat, quickly, cleanly, and finally."

"Less fine." Angel said quietly.

"That's how it's going to go." Buffy said "Nonnegotiable."

"Buffy," Angel said "The first-"

Buffy lost it. "Shut up about the first! This isn't about the first."

"Of course it is." Wesley said condescendingly "This is its plan. Are you so stupid that you don't see that?" Xander was visibly agitated by this. "God Buffy, fool me once, but this is just ridiculous. Why do you think the first showed you that prophecy? It wants the one person who might be able to protect its intended victims to be hunting them. This is the same thing that happened in L.A. but on a bigger scale and you're too dense to see it."

"But the prophecy is unmistakable." Willow said "The vessels bring over the senior partners. Part of the prophecy has already come true. Conner killed Sahjhan."

"It's not the prophecies that are mistaken, but the people interpreting them." Wesley said quietly "Things are never as simple as we think they are." An awkward silence enveloped them all. Angel tried not to think about the elephant in the room. Then he saw Buffy smile.

"Buffy,"

She held up her hand, cutting him off. "You think I'm just some stupid little girl who doesn't see the big picture? I'm not like you. I think things through-"

Wesley laughed, a disturbing, almost demonic sounding laugh. "No you don't."

"You don't know me." Buffy said in a voice of ice

"I know you better than you think." Wesley said "I was once your watcher."

"And a piss poor one at that." Xander interjected

Wesley put up his hands. "Guilty as charged." He confessed "But unlike you Buffy, I'm capable of change. You never do. You are a narcissistic, arrogant, cruel-"

"Stop it!" Anne shouted to everyone's surprise "What is this? You're all good people, why can't you just work this out? Buffy when you were in L.A. eight years ago you saved me and all those people that demon was hurting. You help people, you inspired me to become the person I am today. What happened to that Buffy?" Anne pleaded "We need her."

"I never heard this story." Gunn said, confused

"I'll tell you later." Anne said casually, before returning her attention to Buffy. "Well?"

"She grew up." Buffy said "But you're right Wesley." Buffy said "I haven't changed, not in the important ways. I'm still that girl, the one who sent the most important person in her life to hell for five hundred years. I stabbed him, and I killed him, and I did the right thing."

"This is different." Angel whispered

"No, it's not."

"Buffy, this is-"

"It's the same thing." She said, her voice raising

"It's not even close!"

"It's exactly the same!"

Buffy and Angel glared at each other, holding back cruel vicious taunts. They could rip each other apart if they wanted to. They'd bared their souls to each other enough times to have limitless ammo. But they wouldn't, not yet. "So, about that spell." Angel said "Harmless right?"

"Right," Buffy said, she gave Willow a look.

Willow stood up and walked behind Faith's chair. She put her hands on the side of the woman's head. "Close your eyes." Willow commanded "Look inward." Faith obeyed. "Listen,"

"What am I listening for?"

"Shhhh," For a few still, silent moments it was as if the room were frozen in time. Faith didn't react at all to whatever Willow was doing. Then a pulse of blue energy threw Willow across the room and at the same time Faith let out a blood-curling scream. Angel hadn't thought the woman was even capable of such a sound. Buffy and Xander ran toward Willow, but she was closer to the table where the other occupants of Caritas were sitting and Fred was already helping her to her feet. Wesley jumped out of his chair and ran over to Faith. He grabbed her hand.

Faith sat staring wide-eyed at something in the distance. "The Ram…"

"Faith, what happened?" Angel asked

"She-she's in here, just looking at things. She's watching us, waiting. She sees everything. She sees our secrets. She sees our fears. She sees the dirty things in us."

"But what happened?" Wesley asked "What activated the sanctorum spell?"

Faith slowly turned around in her chair. Buffy pulled Willow away from Fred. The pair and Xander backed away from the table. Buffy locked eyes with Angel. "Willow tried to kill me." Faith said "Buffy told her to if she didn't think the Ram could be exorcised. So she did."

"You bitch," Wesley wasn't looking at Buffy, he was looking at Willow. "I thought we could trust you. I thought you were a person of integrity. How could you do this?"

"You can't talk to her like that." Xander said "We all agreed it had to be done. We thought a mystical attack could surpass the barrier. It was our chance to end this."

"There's a line Buffy." Angel said "You crossed it."

"I moved it." Buffy said "There's a difference."

"No there's not." Anne said

"Oh shut up!" Buffy said "You were just some strung out loser when I saw you in L.A. In Sunnydale you were a vampire groupie who would have been an appetizer if I hadn't saved you from yourself. You're nobody, nothing. I'm the hero of this story, you're just a side character."

"Yeah," Lorne said "You're a hero. Cold-blooded murder, that's real heroic."

"We're done here." Buffy said "But let me be clear. If Conner, or Faith, or" She turned her eyes on Wesley. "Your little bundle of joy leave this building I will take action and I will show no mercy." Her eyes promised to be true to her word. She would be merciless. She would do whatever it took to accomplish her admittedly noble goals, even use despicable means.

"Great," Spike said "Now get out."

Buffy gestured to her group and they filed out of the building. Fred was still standing from when she'd helped Willow up. Fred stared at the hand she'd extended the woman. She closed her hand into a fist. She felt a presence next to her and looked up to see her husband. "I didn't think they really would. Deep down I thought this would all clear up, and we would work together again. I thought they would see that this was ridiculous, but they would have done it."

Wesley put his arms around her and she lay her head against his shoulder, watching Faith. The slayer was still sitting in her seat, stunned. Angel reached for her hand and she looked down on it in surprise. "I saw horrible things, and then I felt the killing energy, and the spell pushing it back. It was close, so very close. And when I saw those things I thought…"

"What did you think?" Angel asked

Faith shook her head. "I don't remember, she's hiding again."

"I'm going to go check on Conner." Angel said

They all watched him make his way to the basement. "I need to hold my baby." Fred said, and then pulled away from her husband to head up the stairs.

Wesley walked over to Faith. "Do you need to talk about it?" He asked

She shook her head.

"Do you want to?"

She looked up at him, and then got to her feet. "I feel old."

Wesley knew she wasn't talking about her age. "She can't change you."

"That's just it." Faith said "She can."

"Not if you don't let her."

Faith kicked the chair she had been sitting in, sending it flying toward the bar. "I just want to hit something, but I can't even go outside. I'm stuck here, like a prisoner."

"Come now Faith, surely this a little better than your prison accommodations were."

She sighed. "The company's a little better." She conceded

"Always a silver lining," Wesley said

…

Angel stood in front of the dartboard trying, and failing, to hit the bull's-eye. "It's more about where you throw it than how hard you throw it Angel."

Angel looked over his shoulder at Fred. "I guess I'm just working out some aggression."

Fred sat down at a table behind him. "Do you want to maybe talk about it instead?"

Angel threw his last dart, barely hit the rim, and then went forward to collect them. "I keep thinking, was it even real? For a year and a half we were happy, but it… it was a lie."

Fred frowned. "Angel, bad things don't make the good ones unreal, they make them more real. Nothing is ever going to be perfect. Bad things happen, but your happiness was real."

Angel threw a dart and missed the board entirely. He gave up and sat down across from Fred. "It's like, I was with Buffy, and everything was great. But my son was sick. I didn't even know. If I had known the truth I wouldn't have been so happy, that makes it fake."

Fred frowned. "No Angel, Conner wanted you to have that happiness because he knew something was coming. Don't make his efforts pointless. Hold onto those memories."

"The memories of my girlfriend that now wants to kidnap and possibly kill my friends?"

Fred reached out and gripped his hand, her face full of sympathy. "She's being manipulated by the first. Buffy is a good person deep down, just scared and confused."

"I know, I've been there." Angel held tight to her hand, appreciating the support. "I just wish… I guess I wish a lot of things. I thought it was over. I really did. Maybe that was stupid."

"It's not stupid, we all thought it was over."

"But it never ends." Angel said "It just keeps going."

"You had that time. Hold onto it. And you're human now, that's still here."

"It just makes me less able to help." Angel countered

"No," Fred's voice was firm, final. "Don't think like that. Your happiness isn't over. You will get the chance to make so many more happy memories. We will find a way to beat this. We will find a way to save Conner and Faith, and to protect my baby. We'll find a way to fix all of this, just like we did last time. You can go back to your happy ending."

Angel shook his head. "I wish I could believe that-"

"Believe it." Fred said "Angel," She smiled at him and Angel remembered why he loved her. He saw in her eyes, not hope, but certainty. "Would I lie to you?"

He gave a happy chuckle. "No,"

"Then listen to me. It's going to be okay. Conner is going to be okay."

…

Gunn stood just outside Caritas, watching the busy city. How many people had walked by this building and seen this sign? How many had walked in and seen the demon? What had they thought? Gunn knew that most people spent their whole lives in ignorance of the monsters around them. Most people, if they found out about the dark parts of this world, it was the last thing they ever did. Gunn heard someone approach. "What are you doing out here?"

Gunn turned and smiled at Anne. "I was just thinking about things, life."

She gave him a warm, loving look. "It isn't safe." She admonished him

"Only for Conner, Faith and the baby. The rest of us are fine." He looked up at the sunny sky. "What must it be like, to not be able to take your kid to the park? Or the zoo? To be trapped…" Anne put her arm around his waist and leaned into him. He put his arm over her shoulders and pulled her in tight. "It scares me, makes me think about my own future."

Anne nodded. "I think about the future too, but I just want us to be together."

Gunn thought about that, about love for love's own sake. "You say that now, but I bet that's how Wes and Fred felt. They just wanted to be together, and then they made this wonderful happy life together and now…" Gunn let the thought lie there. "I bet they regret deciding to have a baby. I bet-" Gunn was surprised when Anne angrily cut him off.

"Why would you think that?"

"Wouldn't you?" He asked, stunned "Wouldn't you rather not have a child than live in fear every day that something was going to happen to that child? It's not worth it."

"Every day is a danger to every human being on this earth. If you bring a child into this world you risk millions of terrible things happening to them every moment of their lives. But at least when people like Wesley and Fred have kids that child has parents that love her. A lot of people don't have that. Maybe Cordelia wasn't dealt the best lot in life, but I'd rather have been in her shoes… booties I guess," Gunn chuckled. "Than have been raised by my parents."

Gunn nodded. Anne never talked about her parents, he didn't pry. "My parents died when I was just a kid." He reminded her "If I had a kid every day I'd be thinking about what would happen to them if I died. The idea of my child going through what I went through…"

"So I guess that settles it then." Anne said "We aren't having kids anytime soon."

Gunn shifted his weight from foot to foot in discomfort. "I love you Anne-"

"I love you too, and I'm glad you feel like you can be honest with me, I am."

Gunn nodded. A future with her, something beyond today, was it possible? He thought about the chance. To take that chance was to risk losing everything. But was it really any better to have nothing to risk? "Maybe someday things will be different." He said without believing

She shook her head. "There is no tomorrow, only today. No yesterday either, just today."

"Today all I want to do is be with you." He kissed her neck.

"That's enough," She said

…

Spike opened the grate that led into the sewers. "What are you doing?" Harmony asked

"What's it look like?" He snapped

"Like you're going out," She said "Without me,"

"Good job," He started to drop down into the sewer, but he heard someone groaning in pain down the hall. He hesitated, then stood up and headed for Conner.

The boy was curled up on the ground, moaning. "Please," He begged an invisible presence. "Please leave me alone, just for a moment. Let me rest, let me sleep."

"Conner," Spike said softly

"I see her weeping in the fire, kept safe like the three brothers, but her life is ripped away by monsters lurking. I see an end coming, see her stalking, she wants to take my place."

Spike walked up to the boy and knelt down. "Do you want me to get your father?"

Conner sat up and gripped Spike's collar. "I see blood pouring from your mouth, overflowing. It tastes like ash in a world of memories made of dust and lacking color. But it was real. They ran, and ran, trying to escape their fate. Their lives were ended as they were began."

Spike gripped the hands, which burned with a terrible heat. "Conner stop,"

"I was never meant to be here. I exist in defiance of natural law."

Spike heard footsteps. "Conner, Conner what's wrong?" Angel crouched down by his son. The boy shook his head, still moaning. "What happened?" He asked Spike

"Kid just started muttering something awful." Spike stood up and stepped back toward where Harmony was standing, out of the way, but still watching father and son.

"Conner talk to me." Angel said

"They made me."

"That doesn't matter." Angel said "They made me too and-" Buffy might not be such a good example right now. "It doesn't matter. We're stronger than them."

"No we're not." Conner said

"We are so long as we stand together." Angel insisted "Hold on Conner, we'll help you."

"We're not together." He whispered "She showed me."

"She showed you lies." Angel promised

"Secrets and lies, hate and deceptions. I see it. Lovers fighting, children killing, friends betraying. He took me away." Angel flinched. "You let her die, you let them all die."

"Shhh, Conner, she's just showing you-"

"You love her." Conner said in an accusing tone "After everything she did."

"Buffy? Conner that's-"

"Faith," He corrected "You love her." His pale damp skin made him look almost like a vampire. He stared at his father in accusation, looking like a fiend from hell. "I saw it."

"No Conner, that isn't-"

"You wanted to save her, because you believe. You have to believe that people can change, can be changed. You saved her, you love her like family, but she's a killer."

Angel understood now. "Yes, I do love her in that way, but it's not a bad thing."

"We're killers, all of us. This is our family, killers and dead people. We deserve to die."

"No we don't Conner. We don't deserve to die."

"But we will, she showed me. She showed me all the things you did. She showed me all the things you all did. Victims and killers and you forgive. Why? Why does he love her?"

"Conner I don't understand what you're saying." Angel said

"Why does he love her after what she did to him? Why doesn't he stab her in the heart while her back is turned?" Conner's sweat dripped onto the floor. "Why does he care?"

"Who?" Angel asked

"He should have stabbed her with that needle and sent her to the executioners. He should have killed you, not gone back for her, not tried to save you. Sentiment, it's disgusting."

Angel understood. "Conner the Wolf is deceiving you, filling your head with lies."

Conner squeezed his eyes shut. "I know, but she shows me things. I see the things she shows me. Don't you understand? She only shows me certain things, so I don't understand."

Angel wrapped his arms around his son. He felt the burning, a deadly infection. His weak human skin was scorched by it. "There's a context to all the things she showed you."

"What is it? What makes it okay?" Conner asked "Why didn't we kill each other?"

"I've been asking myself that for a long time." Spike spoke up from the back ground "I still can't figure an answer. But you should be glad so many people are willing to protect you."

"They weren't counting on it." Conner said "This is different than they planned."

"You saw their plan?" Angel asked

Conner nodded. "He was supposed to be on her side, but he chose all of you instead. He chose the love of friendship over the love of passion. He chose concern over lust. He wasn't supposed to. He wants to help the woman that was kind to him, his friend. He's being selfless."

Angel frowned, and turned to look at Spike. The vampire smirked. "I guess they don't know me as well as they think they do." He said "I guess they don't have me quite figured."

Conner curled up into a tighter ball. "She won't let me sleep."

"Maybe we can get you something." Angel said "Rest for now." Conner's irregular breathing pained Angel like a stab to the heart with every tortured breath. Angel smoothed his son's wet, dirty hair. "Rest Conner, everything is going to be all right."


	7. Blood in the Water

Wesley grabbed the bag off the pharmacy counter. "Thanks," He told the clerk

Caritas was only a few blocks away. He walked slowly. It was nice to have a breath of not exactly fresh air, but air that didn't come from a vent. It was nice to have sunlight on his skin instead of florescent light. It was the kind of distinction that only mattered after being cooped inside for days or weeks on end. The bar neared. As nice as the light and air were, he quickened his pace, he wanted to make sure everyone was still all right. Too much could go wrong.

A strong shove drove Wesley to the ground too fast for him to even put his hands out and brace himself. He felt his nose bust, blood pouring down his face. Strong hands lifted him and threw him against a brick wall. "Hello Wesley," He saw Illyria pinning him to the wall.

"Illyria," Wesley was paralyzed in terror.

"You left your sanctuary."

"I was stupid, careless."

"Yes you were. You left alone as well. They won't ever know what happened to you."

"So you're going to kill me?" Wesley tried to stay calm, but terror was filling his heart and mind. People walked quickly past, not wanting to get involved. That was wise.

"Yes," Wesley's thin hopes were dashed. "But not yet. I owe you pain."

…

Faith sat at a table in the empty club, tapping the wood veneer. "Wesley's been gone a long time, don't you think?" She asked the room in general, Lorne, Gunn, Anne, and Harmony

Harmony shrugged. "I didn't notice."

Faith tapped on the table some more. "Maybe someone should go check on him."

"He just went to the pharmacy to get some sleeping pills for Conner and renew Fred's prescription. What's the worst thing that could happen in those few blocks?" Lorne asked

"Do you really want me to answer that question?" Faith asked

"I'll go look for him." Gunn stood up. "Be right back."

"I'll go with you." Faith was on her feet in the blink of an eye.

"Angel told you not to leave the building." Anne reminded her

"So?"

"So if Buffy sees you out there she'll kill you." Gunn said

"So?"

"So you'll be dead muffin." Lorne said "Nobody wants that."

"Besides the people who are you know, trying to kill me."

Angel appeared from the basement stairwell. "Is Wesley back yet?"

"No," Gunn said "I was just going to look for him."

"I'll go with you, he should be back by now." Angel said "Faith you can't come."

"I didn't even say anything." Faith said peevishly

"But you were going to." Angel said "Let's go." He told Gunn.

Faith watched the men go. "You're not the boss of me." She muttered under her breath

"It kind of sounds like he is." Harmony said

Faith glared hatefully at the vampire. "I kill things like you for a living." She said "Or I did before my boss put a hit out on me." She amended "I'm going upstairs." She stormed off

"Poor girl, her aura is not looking good right now." Lorne said

"I can imagine." Anne said as she stared after the disgruntled slayer "A warrior like her being trapped in a cramped house 24/7? It must be like torture."

…

"Oomph," Wesley hit the floor of the abandoned building. He tried to get to his feet, but Illyria put her foot on his back and pushed him back down. She grabbed his right arm and twisted it behind his back. Wesley took in a sharp breath. "Please," He said

"You have only begun to feel my wrath." Illyria said calmly "Have you ever been tortured before Wesley?" She pulled harder on his arm, applying pressure to the bone.

"Yes actually," Illyria let go of his arm and dropped down so that one knee was on his spine, keeping him pinned. She pulled his head up, baring his neck.

"By an old one? By we that invented the concept of anguish?" She pulled down his lower jaw and reached into his mouth, grasping a tooth. She yanked the tooth out. He cried out in agony. "Do you ever think of what you did to me?" She asked

Wesley spit out some of the blood filling his mouth. "Does it matter?"

She stood up and walked away. Wesley pushed himself to his feet. He saw her returning carrying a sword. Illyria swung low, severing the Achilles tendon of his right foot, causing him to topple to the ground. "Stay down like the dog you are and speak when I bid you."

Wesley gripped his heel to try and staunch the bleeding. "I'm sorry."

She knelt down and gripped his chin, forcing him to look at her. "Are you really?"

Wesley stared into her glacial eyes. He knew there was no point in lying. "No,"

"Well," She jerked his head down. "Your honesty has earned you some mercy."

"Really?"

Illyria stood up and dragged him to his feet. "I won't make you watch."

…

Xander stared as Angel entered the hotel room that was their headquarters. Buffy led him in and then stood back with her arms crossed. "So you think we took Wesley?"

"He disappeared." Angel said

"Maybe he got scared and ran, seems typical Wes." Xander said

Angel glared at him but didn't say anything. "We don't want your boy." Kennedy said

Angel turned his attention to Willow, who was standing behind Kennedy. "Willow,"

She seemed shocked by his attention. "What?"

"Please, just tell me if you know anything."

"So you'll believe her and not me?" Buffy asked "Why?"

It was hard to explain. Angel wasn't quite sure he understood himself. She had attempted that killing spell after all. "The truth is I want it to be you guys. Otherwise he's probably dead."

"Then he's dead." Robin said coldly "Because we haven't seen him."

The glare Angel gave Robin was even more hateful than the one he'd given Xander. It was a stare full of accusations. It was one that alleged betrayal. "It must have been Illyria."

Willow examined Angel with her eyes, searching for some joke or trick. "Angel I killed Illyria back in L.A." She reminded him "She's gone."

"She came back." Angel said "The senior partners brought her back."

"And let me guess, she wants to kill you all?" Robin said

"Emphasis on all, I'm sure the woman who killed her won't get off very easy."

Kennedy started toward Angel. She lifted her fist, but before she could follow through with the swing Buffy caught her arm. "Thank you for warning us." She spoke to Angel, but stared into Kennedy's eyes. "You can go now." She let Kennedy go and the woman retreated.

"Willow you could do a locater spell." Angel said

"Why would she want to do that?" Robin asked

"Please, we were friends." Angel begged Willow "We were all friends. Don't you remember that? I know you don't owe me anything for that or any other reason, but please."

Willow stared at the desperate man. He had nothing to offer her but that word. Yet she saw in him the willingness to give more. She thought of what she would do to find Buffy, or Xander. "I'll do it." She said "If that's okay?" She looked at Buffy.

Buffy nodded. "We don't want anyone to die either."

…

Wesley lay on the ground, struggling to breath. He felt fluid filling his lungs, and the severe blood loss made him weak. If he could only pass out, but Illyria was too good at this to allow that to happen. He coughed up blood. "Please stop," He begged uselessly

"You scream like a pig." Illyria said "What did my screams sound like to you?"

"Like hell," Wesley said "Like the devil's lullabies."

"Interesting," Illyria pressed down on his chest, increasing the pressure he had to struggle against to breath. "You did not stop for my pain, why should I stop for yours?"

Wesley fought to breath. It was too hard, too much pressure, but he had to keep fighting her. He had something to fight for. "I don't deserve this." Wesley said

"But you do." Illyria said "You really do." She pressed her dagger against the skin of his cheek. It was sharpened to a fine edge. She parted his skin like butter. His nerve endings screamed in protest. Wesley tried not to jerk away, knowing it would only deepen the cut. She slid the blade farther down, skinning his cheek. "This is your payment." She leaned in close to whisper in his ear. "Was she worth it Wesley? Was she worth this?"

"Yes," Wesley said without hesitation

"Once you change your mind, or lose it, whichever comes first, I will allow you to die. I will grant you that respite, but only hell awaits you Wesley, and it will be only a little better."

"What was I supposed to do?" Wesley asked "Was I supposed to just let her stay trapped forever? Was I supposed to know she could be saved and not do it?"

Illyria reached under the loose flap of skin and pressed down. Wesley screamed. She removed her fingers and licked the blood off. It was eerily similar to the way Fred licked barbeque sauce off her fingers. "Such things do not matter to me, I am a higher being."

"No," Wesley said "You're not. You were becoming hum-" He shouted as she drove the knife into his thigh. She twisted it, making him cry out in still more pain.

"You have angered Illyria the god-king. Your corpse will warn others of the consequences to these actions. Your corpse will serve as a herald to your friends, informing them of their fate. You will be so defiled when I finish you the ground will not take you. Birds will not eat you. The sea, were you thrown in it, would spit you back out again. Your blood will be boiled away and what remains of your flesh will be burnt. All will know of how you died." She twisted the knife some more, tearing and shredding the flesh around it. "This is your fate Wesley."

"Why do you keep saying that?" He asked in a weak voice

"What?" Illyria asked

"My name, you keep saying it. If I am so beneath you, why does my name matter?"

Illyria paused. "It does not. You are no more to me than a misbehaving load-bearing animal; to be put down as an example to others. You serve no other purpose."

"And yet you keep saying my name, why is that?"

She drew out the knife and plunged it into his right shoulder. "Die dog,"

…

Willow finished her chant and dropped the powder on the map. "It didn't work." The powder just lay on the map, unmoving. Willow couldn't conceal her disappointment. She didn't want Wesley to die. She didn't want anybody to die who didn't have to.

"Can you try again?" Angel asked

"It wouldn't do any good." Willow said "Part of Illyria's new powers must shield her and anybody she is with from mystical tracking. I can't find him with a spell."

Angel stared at the map for a single tortured moment. He stood up abruptly. "Thanks for trying." He said sincerely "I mean it." He grabbed his coat. "I'll just have to try something else."

Buffy watched him go. Willow felt a pang in her heart. She wished she could tell Angel she was sorry, but he was gone. How was Buffy taking this? Buffy grabbed her own coat. "Dawn and Giles, you stay here. The rest of us are going to look for him."

"Why?" Robin asked

"This is a rare opportunity. Faith won't turn herself in without a little incentive, so we'll find some for her. We'll spread out, see if we can find them. If you spot Illyria, do not confront, call for back-up. If anybody finds Wesley bring him here." Buffy headed out the door.

Willow started to clean up the spell. Dawn stopped her. "I'll do that." Willow nodded and followed Kennedy out the door. Was this right? Willow thought of what L.A. had looked like before they'd killed the senior partners. If the partners crossed over again the whole world would look like that. If they had to hurt Faith, or Conner, or Wesley, to prevent the apocalypse Willow could accept that. She didn't have to like it, but it was right. If she had any doubts, she just had to look at Buffy to know what the right path was. Willow kissed her girlfriend when they separated in the lobby. She headed out into the dimming afternoon. She hoped they found him alive.

…

Illyria slapped the unconscious man on his uncut cheek, turning the skin there scarlet. "I told you respite would come only when I granted it to you, do not try to cheat me."

Wesley moaned. "I'm done, please."

"Was it worth it, what you did? Was it worth this anguish?"

"Please," He coughed up more blood. "I'm in so much pain."

"And more still awaits you. Was her life worth this?"

Wesley nodded, blood dripping down his chin. "Yes,"

"Why do you not just lie?" She asked "Why do you choose to prolong your suffering?"

"I don't want my last act on this earth to be denouncing the woman I love." He said

"Why?" Illyria asked "Why do you love her? There are more than three billion women in the world. What is so special about her? What makes her better than them?"

"Or you?" Wesley asked

Illyria slapped him again. "I told you speak when you are bid, you need only answer the questions I present to you, all else is unnecessary. What is so special about her?"

"Well for one thing she doesn't torture people."

"Faith did." Illyria said "She tortured you. She was the one who tortured you before."

"That was a long time ago, she was a different person then."

…

Fred sat at a table in the club, waiting for Angel to get back. Anne was watching Cordelia upstairs. Faith sat across from Fred, holding the woman's hands in her own. They both jumped to their feet when they heard Angel enter the club. "Well?" Faith asked

Angel walked behind the bar to gather some weapons that were stashed there. "I'm going to look for him." Angel said "Buffy didn't know anything."

Fred sat back down and put her face in her hands. "I can't believe this."

People entered the room from different directions. "Let's go." Gunn said, walking up to Angel for his own weapon "We're wasting time."

Faith approached the bar to arm herself. "No," Angel said "You can't leave, it's too dangerous. If Buffy sees you-" Faith didn't let Angel finish.

"I don't give a damn." She said "I'm going with you. I'm the only one here strong enough to maybe fight off Illyria."

"I take offense to that." Spike said as he and Harmony came up from the basement

"You coming?" Angel asked

"You think I'd miss a fight with blue? No way, let's go."

"Faith," Angel saw her turn angry determined eyes on him. He handed her a sword.

"Thanks," She said "Let's go."

Angel walked out from behind the bar and Fred ran up to him and wrapped her arms around him. "Please be careful." She said "Please bring him back."

"I will, monsters don't stand a chance against me." He said as he hugged her back

The old words didn't have a comforting effect, they rang false. Fred had seen the monsters beat her friend too many times to have confidence in the words. But she had confidence in him. "I can't lose him, not now, not like this." She said as if she could convince fate. She let Angel go and stepped back. She held back the tears. She looked at Faith. "Don't get hurt."

Faith gave a curt nod and headed for the door. Fred grabbed her hand, bringing her to a halt. "We need to go." Faith said "Every moment we spend talking is one Wesley could be-"

Fred watched Faith look away, concealing her emotions. "I mean it." Fred said "Don't let yourself get hurt. You'd be doing none of us a favor. Please be careful."

"Okay," Faith whispered

Faith locked eyed with Fred for a moment and then dropped the woman's hand. Faith left and Angel hurried to follow her with the two vampires and Gunn close behind. Gunn paused for only a moment to squeeze Fred's hand. She squeezed back and watched him go. When they were all gone she was the only one left in the bar. She sat down at a table and began to cry.

…

"Tell me what I want to know." Illyria commanded

"It doesn't matter anymore." Wesley said "You discarded the idea of humanity."

"I am curious." Illyria said

"Curiosity is human." Wesley said

She lifted him up and threw him against the wall. "Still you defy me. I grow bored. I have devised a more painful torment for you dog. I will kill you last. I will make you watch when I gut your wife and eat your child." She grabbed his wrist and held his left hand up against the wall. She drove her knife through his hand, pinning him there. He screamed some more. "Maybe then you will be more compliant." She left him to get free on his own.

He reached for the knife and gripped the handle. He shut his eyes and tried to pull the knife. The pain was intense enough to make him see red sunbursts against his eyelids. Wesley let go of the knife, panting. Tears of pain ran down his face. He grabbed the knife again.

…

Xander watched the crowds go to and fro like the tide. All these people, did any of them know what was coming, or sense it? The ones who stood on the street corners holding sandwich boards that proclaimed the end was near, did they know something? Xander had seen enough apocalyptic threats in his life almost come to pass to know that those people were on to something, weather they knew it or not. The newest threat, two innocent people, three if you counted the baby who was prophesized to be infected but hadn't been yet. Xander shivered. He wondered how he would feel, in the situation Wesley and Fred were in. Xander had wanted a family, once upon a time. He'd wanted to make one with Anya. What if it were his kid that Buffy was trying to kidnap? Would she still do it? He didn't want to think about it.

Xander heard a few people mumbling nearby. He looked to see what had caught their attention. A staggering bloody man was trying to make his way forward. He looked insane or diseased, and nobody dared to approach him. Xander knew who it was. The man stumbled and started to fall. Xander caught Wesley, stopping him from hitting the ground. Xander felt the sticky blood that coated the man from head to toe. Wesley's breathing was shallow, each breath sounded like herculean labor. Xander put the man's arm over his own shoulder, letting Wesley lean on him. Xander started forward and then stopped when he heard the man speak. "Xander,"

"Yeah, don't talk."

"Where are you taking me?" Xander felt a flash of shame. This man had just been tortured half to death. All Wesley probably wanted to do was go home and rest, to see his family again. Xander figured that's what he would want. Could Xander really bring him in?

"I'm taking you home." Xander said "Back to Caritas,"

"Why?"

"You've suffered enough for one day."

They hadn't been far from Caritas and it didn't take long to get there. Xander had planned to get close to the building and then stop, leaving Wesley to make his way inside on his own so Xander didn't have to face Angel and his friends. But as he got closer to the door and felt the man's full weight leaning on him Xander knew that wasn't an option; that Wesley didn't have the strength to move forward of his own power. Xander would just have to hope they were so excited to see Wesley they would ignore Xander while he slipped away. Xander knocked on the door. Lorne opened the door. The Pylean gaped at the sight of Xander supporting the broken bloody man. Xander heard chairs scraping against the floor as Anne and Teresa rose from a table and ran over. "Oh my God." Anne said "Wesley," Lorne reached for his friend's arm. He and Anne helped him into a chair. Xander quickly left before they could ask him any questions.

Xander headed back toward the hotel. He hoped Buffy wouldn't find out what he did, but he didn't regret it. He's done what he had to do to keep his conscience.

…

Fred heard the commotion and ran downstairs. She saw her husband and felt herself torn between two vastly contradictory emotions. One was elation, because her husband was alive. The other was despair, because she saw the condition he was in. "Wesley!" She ran over to him.

He was wheezing, trying to bring in air, and just not having enough strength. She started to reach for his hand and saw that it was torn and bloody. She ran behind the bar to grab towels and a first aid kit. When she returned she was daunted by the sheer magnitude of what would need to be done. Where would one even begin? But Fred didn't allow herself to take a moment to steel herself. There were things that needed to be done, and she couldn't let her emotions deter her from her task. She mopped the blood away from the wound and then wrapped it in gauze.

"Let's get him upstairs." Lorne said

Fred and Lorne helped the man back to his feet. "Ow," He moaned

"We're going to take you where you can lie down." Fred said

"No more stabbing me," He muttered

Fred flinched. She didn't want to think about that. "Come on."

…

Illyria burst through the door that led between realities onto the dark earth. The river of blood had flooded the banks, staining the pitch-hued silt. She stomped through the mud. The Hart was lying in the dirt, impossibly clean. "You told me it was gone." Illyria said in a fury

"It is." The Hart replied nonchalantly "Fred is out of you, completely."

"No, some of her is still in here." Illyria said "I feel her. She cries out in horror for the torture I inflicted on her lover. She protests my mutilations of him and pleads that he should live." Illyria kicked the mud. Clumps of it flew toward the Hart, hitting her white dress and rolling off without leaving a mark. She was still clean, always clean. "Remove the remnants."

The Hart sighed as she stood up. "That wasn't Fred Illyria; that was you. You have been corrupted old one. You have been tainted. You and Fred are as separate now as you were before you inhabited her corpse. But," She stabbed a finger at Illyria's chest. "When you chose to love that man, that _mortal_ man," She spat out the word mortal as though it were unclean. "You allowed yourself to become like them. You integrated some of their _disgusting _humanity into your own self. If I were capable of feeling sorry for anyone, I would feel sorry for you. As it is I just find you pathetic. Do what you promised. Maim, torture, kill. Leave the vessels unharmed as per our arrangement, but destroy all else. For otherwise you are a lower being."

The Hart opened the door behind Illyria again and walked away. Illyria stood in the bloody mud in front of the door that led back to New York and tried to make sense of what she was feeling. It was something new, something she had never known before. She could not name it, but most humans would be able to. It was anxiety, fear for the future.

…

Angel saw her coming. "Faith run," He said

"No, if it's a fight Buffy wants, she'll get one." Faith promised

"We don't have time for this." Gunn pointed out

"If we run she'll follow and we'll lose time. You guys keep looking, I'll handle Buffy."

"She'll kill you." Angel protested

"Just go." Faith said "I've got this." She strode forward to meet her fellow slayer. Buffy smirked at the young woman. Faith swung, fast, hard. Buffy dodged the blow, but caught part of it on her shoulder. Buffy aimed a kick at Faith's kidney and Faith grabbed the woman's leg and tossed her. Buffy landed on her feet and landed a punch against Faith's cheekbone. Faith was barely fazed, striking back at Buffy's neck. This all happened in a matter of seconds.

"I think she has it handled." Spike said

Angel hesitated. "Let's go."

…

Dawn walked up behind Xander and put her hand on his shoulder as the man sat in an armchair staring intently at some invisible thing. Xander jumped. Dawn walked around the chair, into his view. "Why so jumpy?" Xander smiled at her, but then returned to staring at the invisible thing. "Xander?" She now sounded concerned. "If something is wrong you can tell me."

He knew he could. There were few things he felt he couldn't tell her, and they were the things he wouldn't tell anybody. "I did something Dawny."

"Something bad?" She asked

"I don't think so." Xander said "But I can never be sure."

"You can tell me what it was and I'll tell you." Dawn said

"What if you aren't sure either?" Xander asked

"It's you, I'm already pretty sure it wasn't that bad."

Xander gave her another smile, a real one. Lately it seemed all of his smiles were fake, meant to assure his friends. Yet there was the occasional real smile, and it was almost always directed at Dawn. "I love you." He said, knowing she wouldn't suspect what kind of love it was

"I love you too." She said

…

Faith stood just outside the door to the upstairs bedroom. Fred was sitting at the bedside, holding Wesley's hand. The injured man's labored breathing affected Faith's ears like nails on a chalkboard. She sensed Angel move to stand behind her. "She didn't kill him." He said

"Almost,"

"Why do you think that is?"

Faith shrugged. "I don't really care to be honest." She said "I just want to end the bitch at this point." She turned around and looked into his eyes. "Do you care?" She asked

"It might be important. There's some larger plan going on. Maybe this is part of it."

Faith shook her head and then turned back around. "No," She said "It doesn't matter. For this Illyria has to die. I'll find a way to take her down, to make _her_ bleed."

"She is stronger than you." Angel pointed out. "You could get hurt thinking like that."

Faith shrugged. "Whatever,"

"Do you think that's what he wants? For you to die because of him?" Faith walked away, into the living room. She sat down on the couch and Angel took a seat next to her. He watched her clench her fists in suppressed rage. "Because I promise it isn't, he wants you to live."

"I know." Faith said "I know that."

"So if you do something stupid, get yourself killed, you'll just hurt him more."

Faith crossed her arms over her chest and sank back into the couch. "I get it."

"Probably more than she hurt him,"

Faith was visibly shaken by this. "He can't care that much, not about me."

"He does." Angel said "So do I."

Faith frowned, and refused to look at Angel. "Then you're both… why?" The last word was different. She lost her confrontational tone and sounded a little afraid.

"You're an incredible young woman Faith." Angel said "Even if you don't feel that way right now. You've done amazing things, overcome terrible darkness. I believe in you."

"Angel," She whispered "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course,"

"I don't want to die."

Silence reigned for a little while. "Me neither, and I don't intend for either of us to." She leaned against his shoulder. She could feel his breathing, hear his heartbeat.

…

Wesley felt something soft and cold on his brow. He opened his eyes to see Fred. "Hey,"

She gave him a brave smile. "Hi," She took the hand that hadn't been mangled.

"I don't like being stabbed. It never turns out well for me."

She kept a brave front, even though his words cut her. Seeing him in pain made her heart ache as much as any real injury. She leaned forward and kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too." He said

"Never scare me like that again." She said "I thought you weren't coming back."

"Me too," He admitted "She wanted to hurt me… but she couldn't kill me." Wesley thought back to the haze of pain and torture. Why hadn't she killed him? He felt like she had told him, but he couldn't remember. It didn't seem important now though. He felt a deep constant sensation of pain over the entirety of his body, and that didn't seem important either. He looked at Fred and all that mattered was being with her and- "Where's-"

"Anne has her." Fred assured him "Don't worry."

"I thought I was never going to see you again, either of you."

Fred kissed him again, longer this time. "Don't worry, you're safe now."

"Right, safe," He shook his head. "None of us are safe."

She sighed. "I'm trying to be comforting."

"And you're doing an excellent job." Wesley assured her "I feel very comforted, the making out part I find especially comforting. I recommend continuing with that."

She smiled at him. "No more worries. Everything is going to be okay."

He closed his eyes. "I don't remember everything, but I remember her asking me if this was worth it. She wanted to know if you were worth the pain." He opened his eyes. "You are."

She gripped his hand tighter. "I'm sorry." She said

"I'm not." He said "That's what I'm trying to tell you."

Fred had known that bringing her back was part of the reason this was happening. She wasn't dense. She knew if she weren't here Illyria would still be on their side, still helping them fight the senior partners. Fred also knew that if she weren't here, if her baby hadn't been born, the prophecy couldn't come true. Wesley knew she knew these things. But Fred wasn't going to let them weigh upon her mind. She wasn't going to let the senior partners tear her or her family apart. If Illyria wanted to seek unwarranted vengeance against them Fred wasn't going to blame herself. Fred hadn't chosen to die, to be killed by that monster. She gave Wesley a reassuring smile. "I meant I'm sorry you're hurt, sorry you're in pain. But what you did, I'm not sorry for that either. I'm not sorry that we're together and have a family. I could never be sorry for that."

He smiled, a weak pained smile. "Good,"

She kissed him again. He forgot about the pain for a second.

…

Lorne was cleaning the bar and Anne was lending him an appreciated hand. Lorne heard her whistling while she dusted. He looked up at her and smiled. Then the smile slipped off his face and he turned back to his work. He listened to her merry little tune. He heard wedding bells and vows. He heard smiles and a tall church steeple. Lorne heard the taste of wedding cake and bubbly champagne. He heard people, but some were missing. He saw her path in her song and could have told her if he wanted to. He wouldn't. He would keep the future from her in the same way that Teresa was keeping the future from him. He often wondered what she had seen, but resisted the urge to ask her, for fear that she might actually tell him. It was a burden, to see, to know. It was hard, because the picture was never complete, and the outcome never certain. It was easy to rely too much on the advantage. Sometimes you saw things that were awful, that had to be stopped and when you couldn't stop them the world fell apart. That was why Lorne didn't want to know. He remembered his depression after Fred died, how hard it had been to get back up after watching her die, convincing himself this future could be prevented, and then finding out that it could not. She died despite their efforts; it hadn't really seemed possible, but it had been.

"Lorne," He looked up. "I think that table is clean."

He looked down at the table he'd been wiping down for who knew how long. He chuckled. "I suppose it is." He moved on to the next table.

"Are you okay?"

"Just thinking," He said

She smiled at him, a comforting smile. "About Wesley?"

"Yeah," It wasn't completely a lie. That was another thing he'd been unable to foresee. If he had known about it in advance he might have been able to stop it. But that wasn't why what had happened disturbed him. It wasn't because his friend had been horribly and painfully tortured, although that was awful and Lorne was hurt by his friend's suffering. What disturbed Lorne so much about what had happened was that he suspected Teresa had known. She may have known what was going to happen and allowed it to happen. He was sure if this was true she had a good reason. Perhaps the domino effect meant saving Wesley would lead to someone else getting killed. Telling him he had to get tortured or something even worse would happen wasn't exactly doing Wesley a favor. Still, wasn't concealing that information in a way the same thing that Buffy was doing? Could sacrificing Wesley's health to save someone else be justified?

"Well he'll be all right." Anne said "He just needs time to heal."

"What?" Lorne was shaken from him musings again. "Oh yeah, right." Nothing in the world could make him want to bear the burden of those kinds of choices. "He will."

…

Conner saw black and red. He saw a thing, a terrible pale thing. He saw its world, its dimension. It was a small dimension, of infinite proportions and energy, but it was still small somehow. It lacked a quality Conner did not know the name for. Conner's world had a lot of this unknown quality. The thing itself was big, too big for its small world. It did not have room to move around, even though its roommates were gone. The Wolf was talking to the thing. They were talking about Illyria. Conner liked Illyria. She was back and he wasn't sure how he felt about this. They had brought her back just to use her. She was defying them, acting in a way contrary to their expectations. But she had still tortured Wesley, which pleased them. Conner was confused by all this because the different components of it were confusing, and because he had a hard time telling the difference between his emotions and those of the Wolf. The Wolf was amused by something, a shared joke between herself and the Hart. There was blood in the water, but that wasn't the joke. Sharks were circling, ready to go in for the kill. That wasn't the joke either. Conner couldn't figure it out, didn't want to figure it out. He wanted to close his eyes and no longer see the pale thing, but they weren't his eyes. They were hooked up to his mind, but they weren't his eyes. He saw with them, but they belonged to the Wolf. So he watched, powerless to stop. He was a passive observer as the Wolf continued her visit; he was a ghost.


	8. Monsters

Illyria stood outside the hotel, watching, waiting, the same way she had watched Caritas, waiting for her quarry to come out. She'd spent the time thinking of the long torturous death she would inflict on him, and then when the moment had arrived, she hadn't killed him. She saw the man leave the hotel. She followed him. He walked down the street, navigating the current of people, stepping around them, moving to accommodate them. Illyria didn't do that. She walked where she wanted to go and let others avoid her. They did, they feared her. He started toward a restaurant with a dragon on the sign. She reached out and grabbed his shoulder, dragging him away from the building, into an alley. "I wish to converse with you human."

Xander stared wide-eyed at the old one. "Illyria,"

"I wish to ask you questions."

He nodded. She could smell the terror in his sweat. "Is this about me helping Wesley?"

She ignored him. "I wish to know the names of some things. What is to look for something that isn't there? It was there, but isn't any longer, and when I look in the place that it was I see nothing. I don't even see a hole where it was. All trace of it is gone."

"Ummm," Xander's eyes flitted from place to place as he tried to formulate an escape.

"Answer me human."

"It's… missing something." Xander said

"Explain,"

"You already did. When you look for something that is gone, you're missing it."

Illyria frowned. "This is not sufficient."

"What were you looking for?"

Illyria decided to move on to her next question. "What is it to be dissatisfied with the course of one's own actions? Not the results," She clarified "The actions themselves,"

"Regret," Xander said

"No that isn't it."

Despite his fear Xander was annoyed. "If you know the answer why are you asking me?"

"I do not know the answer." She said "But I know it is not regret."

"Why? Why not regret?"

"Regret is a human emotion. I am above such things. I remember that much."

Xander shook his head. "Look, I don't know you, or what this is about. I'm just trying to avoid getting killed. If you don't like your actions, that's regret. It's what the word means."

"Find another word." Illyria commanded

Xander sighed in exasperation. "Why are you dissatisfied?"

"I intended to kill Wesley. But when the time came I did not. I tortured him for my own pleasure, but the satisfaction did not come. My vengeance was… not…" Illyria faltered

"So are you dissatisfied because you didn't kill him or because you tortured him?"

"I… do not know." Illyria admitted "I do not know who or what I am anymore."

Xander nodded. He know the feeling. He looked at his watch. "Come inside,"

"What?" She asked

"Come inside the restaurant with me. I have to order some food for my friends and we can talk while I wait for it." Xander looked at her expectantly, all of his fear gone.

Illyria hesitated. "All right." They walked into the restaurant. Xander ordered the food and then found them a table. He gestured for her to sit across from him. "You helped him."

Xander nodded. "Is that why you chose to talk to me?"

"Yes," Illyria said "Your actions were senseless. He is your enemy and you do not like him. You should have left him there, or captured him and turned him over to your leader."

"That would have been inhumane." Xander said

"Why?"

"He was in pain. I can't ignore the suffering of a fellow human being."

"But you dislike him." Illyria said "Why should his suffering matter to you?"

"Because of empathy." Xander said

"Empathy," Illyria considered the word. "Explain," She ordered

Xander chuckled. "Empathy is the ability to feel someone else's pain as though it were your own. Empathy allows us to pretend we are somebody else, and imagine how they feel."

"Why would you wish to imagine yourself as someone you dislike?"

"It's involuntary," Xander said, an incomplete truth

"This empathy sounds like a disease." Illyria said

"It's just a part of being human." Xander said "A part of understanding each other. If we didn't have empathy, or didn't use it, we would be very selfish. We might hurt people to get what we want because we wouldn't care about their pain. We'd be…" Xander looked at Illyria.

"Like me?"

Xander nodded. "We'd be like you."

"We, that is humans, all humankind?"

Xander nodded again. "Yeah,"

"I see," They were silent for a short while. "I have no empathy." Xander was unsure from her tone if that was a question or a statement. So he just remained silent, waiting for her to continue the thought. After a few moments she did. "But I could not kill him, is that empathy?"

Xander shrugged. "Maybe, maybe you just don't want to kill him."

"He betrayed me. Why would I not wish to kill him?"

Xander leaned back in his chair and exhaled heavily. "Why do any of us feel the way that we do?" He asked rhetorically

Illyria didn't get that. "That is what I came to ask you."

"Illyria just because I'm human doesn't mean I understand humanity, and I _certainly _don't understand you. Hell, I don't even understand myself. I don't have all the answers."

"Who does?"

"Not me," Xander heard his name called and stood up to get his food. He paid and thanked the man at the counter. When he turned back toward the table Illyria was gone.

…

Faith hit the punching bag down in the basement. She threw punch after punch, ignoring form, paying attention only to the force applied. She hit the bag again and again, not counting her throws. She was unaware of how long she'd been downstairs. She was unaware of anything. She felt hands grab her shoulders and pull her back. She whirled on her attacker and raised a fist. The world came rushing back. She saw Angel step back with his hands raised to shield his face. She dropped her arms. "Faith," Angel said, deeply concerned "I called your name a dozen times."

She stood there, panting. "I didn't hear you."

"I was standing right here."

She wiped the sweat from her forehead. "Sorry,"

He stared at her hands. She looked at them. She had forgotten to wrap her hands or put on gloves. Her skin had been scraped away. Her hands were raw and bleeding. "Faith," Angel said

She shrugged. "It doesn't hurt."

Angel started to protest, but stopped. He sighed. "You're pretty good at that." He said.

"Best in the world," She joked

"Second best," Angel said with a sad resigned look

Faith took a step back. "What?" She asked, horrified

"I said apparently," Angel looked concerned "Why?"

"I… I thought you said something else."

"What?"

She shook her head. She offered up a weak smile. "Nothing,"

Angel looked down at the arrow sticking out of his chest a few centimeters from his heart. He collapsed, feverish. Faith screamed. She took another step back and hit the punching bag. She slid to the ground, staring in wide-eyed terror. "Faith, Faith," Angel was standing over her shaking her shoulders. He was fine. "Faith what is it? Faith talk to me." He stared at her.

Faith stared into the distance. "She is here."

…

Fred ran downstairs and entered the bar at about the same time as Angel, who was walking in front of Faith. She looked horrified. "What happened?" Fred asked

"Faith saw something." Angel said

"I saw the past." Faith said in a monotone. "I saw my sins."

Fred ran up to the girl and took her hand. "Are you okay?"

Faith slowly nodded. "I saw it come back for me, the things I did."

"It doesn't matter now." Angel said

Fred raised Faith's hand. "What happened to your hand?"

Faith pulled her hand away. "It doesn't hurt."

"Come upstairs." Fred said "I'll bandage this and you need to eat something."

Faith nodded, numb. "Yeah okay," The three started up the stairs.

…

Wesley was sitting on the couch holding his baby. He was still in pain from his various Illyria-inflicted injuries, but he didn't notice when he held his daughter. Angel, Faith, and Fred entered the upstairs apartment. Faith's hands were bloody. Wesley stood up. "Faith, what happened?" He walked over to her and she shrank back.

"You don't want me to get blood on the baby." She told him

"Right," He said "Why were you screaming?" She stared at something past him. "Faith?"

"Don't do that!" Her loud petrified scream made them all jump. Lorne and Teresa ran out of the kitchen. Gunn and Anne came in from another room. "Somebody stop him!"

Angel took her by the shoulders and stared into her eyes. "Whatever you see, it isn't real." He told her "Listen to the sound of my voice." She kept staring at the distance.

Wesley noticed something. "Fred," He handed her the baby and tapped on Angel's shoulder. Angel moved away and Wesley stepped in front of Faith. "Faith, what happened to your hand?" She blinked and raised her hand up to her face. Her knuckles were still bloody, but her palm was burnt. The burn was fresh, as if it had just occurred. "Faith, what happened?"

She turned her gaze from her hand to Wesley. "It hurts." She said

"How did it happen?" He asked softly

"Burnt it on the stove," She whispered "I was a bad girl."

Wesley reached for her wrist and gently pulled her hand down to get a better look. He led her over to the couch and gestured for her to sit down. She did without complaint. He retrieved a first aid kit and started to treat her hand. When he put the disinfectant on her hand she hissed and yanked her hand away. "It's okay," He said "Trust me." He reached for her hand and she let him.

"I saw him and that little girl. Someone should stop him, he's going to burn her."

"Someone should have stopped him." Wesley agreed

Angel looked away, like he was intruding on something private. He caught Gunn's glance. Angel had always assumed Faith's childhood hadn't been great, but he hadn't known about this. Angel noticed Anne was looking away too. Lorne was visibly upset. Fred was cradling her baby; Angel couldn't see her face as her gaze was devoted to the child. Teresa was looking at the floor. Angel didn't want to look at any of them or at Faith, but his eyes were drawn to her like a commuter to a bad car accident. She was still staring at nothing.

"Faith," Wesley asked kindly "Do you know who I am?"

She looked at him. After a moment she nodded slowly. "I know who you are."

Wesley was wrapping her hand in gauze. "Who am I?"

Faith yanked back her partially wrapped hand. She put both hands to her ears and pressed against them in an attempt to block out sound. "No," She whimpered "I'm not listening to you."

"Faith," He reached for her wrists and tried to pull her hands away from her ears.

She jerked her head away and kept her hands over her ears. "Stop it!"

Cordelia began to cry. Fred tried to shush the baby. Faith lowered her hands and stared at the crying baby. "Did I make the baby cry?" She asked in a vulnerable voice

"It's all right." Wesley said "Look at me."

Faith stared at him. "Wesley," Tears began to leak from her eyes. "She wants me."

"The Ram?"

Faith nodded slowly. "She shows me things, terrible things."

"It isn't real." Wesley said "Just listen to me, ignore what she says."

"You hate me." Faith said in a terrified voice

"No I don't." Wesley said "I don't hate you at all."

"You should." She said bitterly "You don't because you're weak."

"That's not you saying that." Wesley said

Faith shook her head. "You think I'm bad."

"No I don't."

"You think-" She stopped. "He didn't say that." She said to some invisible person

"Say what?" Wesley asked

She tilted her head, staring at his eyes. Hers were inscrutable. "I see her."

"Who?"

"The little girl with the dark hair. She's a bad, ungrateful little girl."

"No she's not." Wesley said "She's just a little girl and her parents should have been kinder to her. She's a sweet innocent little girl who wants to be good and who isn't appreciated."

Faith shook her head. "No, they told her. They told her she was bad. The pretty flaxen maid. She's a hero from a fairy tale, went to Heaven and everything. But the dark lady is very bad and has to be punished. The pretty flaxen maid said so, put her in her place."

"That isn't what happened." Wesley said "I was supposed to watch out for you and I didn't do my job. I let you down, I let you get lost."

"She's right." Faith said "I did love her. I thought she was a picture."

"That's all right." Wesley said "There's no shame in that."

"But she was right. I proved all of them right. They told me I was a whore. I was. But for a little while I loved her. I wanted to be like her, wanted to play her game, but I messed up."

"Faith," Wesley put his hand on her cheek, and felt the moisture there. "You're somewhere else. Come back here. Come back to this room with these people."

She blinked. "I can't see. There's a fog."

"Can you hear me?"

She nodded.

"Then close your eyes and don't look at anything. Don't look at what she shows you. Just listen to me. Stay here, in this room, with us."

Faith closed her eyes. "I don't see anything."

"Good, that's good. Now listen to me. Don't listen to the things she says. You are a good person Faith. You don't deserve this. You are good and she wants to hurt you because you are."

"Tell me a story." Faith said "One about people without real problems."

"Okay, once upon a time there was powerful princess and her two friends on holiday in Messina…" Wesley had retold two and a half Shakespeare plays before Faith opened her eyes.

"She's gone." Faith said "She got bored and left."

"Are you okay?" Wesley asked

Faith nodded slowly. "How long were you going to stay here and keep talking?"

"Well I've read a lot of books." Wesley said

Faith grinned, and laughed at that. But her laugher turned to sobs and she slid off the couch, shaking. Wesley hugged her. "Don't let it get me, don't let it come back." She begged

"I won't." She was crying so hard she didn't notice his calmer more silent tears.

…

Illyria saw the door. She considered ignoring it. She opened the door. The red-black earth was scorched by the desert sun. There was not a drop of moisture anywhere. Bleached white bones lay everywhere, some had been pounded to dust by large desert beasts. The river of blood was gone. Illyria was kind of disappointed. She liked the river. "You are very disappointing."

Illyria saw the Hart step out of a ray of light. "I do not exist to serve you." Illyria said

"You were supposed to kill the child's parents. You said this was your desire."

"I changed my mind." Illyria said "I wish to torment them in other ways."

The Hart frowned. "What ways? What torments? You didn't even do any permanent damage. A missing tooth? Pathetic. The Illyria of old would have torn out his jaw."

"I have yet to decide how I will bring about their destruction." Illyria said "I may still kill the woman. I do not think I empathize with her. I wish to kill the former vampire and the other betrayers. They I still want to kill." Illyria realized she was rambling like a mortal.

"You have been putting too much stock in the words of humans." The Hart said

"You brought me back with the promise that I would be as I was before the problems of this body. You said I would be cleansed. I have not been. I have been changed by this woman."

"You can fix that." The Hart said "By killing her and her husband."

"Perhaps…" Illyria looked up at the fake sun, and it was fake; it came and went at the will of its creator, like everything in this world. I served no purpose, was purely for aesthetic value. Nothing here had any meaning to any other piece of this world. "Perhaps I don't want to."

"You want to be impure?" The Hart asked "You want humanity?"

Illyria felt the ground beneath her feet, but it wasn't real ground. She thought back to her long reign on earth. Everything there had been real. Blood had been warm, hunts had been arduous. A victory had meant something. That world, she was part of it again, but it no longer belonged to her. It belonged to the humans. Maybe she just wanted the same thing the senior partners wanted, a place in the world. If there was one for her, maybe it was among the humans.

"I see." The Hart did not wait for Illyria to speak, opting to read her mind. "Well it would behoove you to change your mind. Go now, I bore of this conversation, and of _you_."

The door appeared in front of Illyria. She stepped through.

…

Dawn moved her rook. "Check,"

"Hmm, oh," Xander moved his king.

Dawn moved her bishop. "Checkmate,"

"What?" Xander examined the board. "Damnit,"

"Either I just got really good at this game, or you're not really Xander, but a cleverly designed Xander clone sent to infiltrate the high ranks of the new watchers council but for some reason much worse at chess than the real Xander." Xander stared at Dawn.

"Or you're really distracted," Dawn said "It could be that."

Xander chuckled as he reset the board. "Is that your roundabout way of asking me if there's anything on my mind? If it is I have to say, points for… whatever the hell that was."

"Originality," Dawn said "The phrase is points for originality."

"No, that was something else." Xander said

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Everyone's a critic. So, what is it?"

Xander put the last piece in place. "What's what?"

Dawn glared at him.

Xander moved a pawn. "It's complicated."

Dawn moved a pawn of her own. "So explain it."

Xander stared at the board. "Life is confusing."

"Is the rest of this conversation just going to be you quoting stock phrases? Because that's the second one in a row and the third one is going to make me want to hit you."

"Well beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Xander leaned back to avoid Dawn's blow.

"I'm serious."

Xander moved. "You're going to think this is crazy." Xander sighed. "I saw Illyria. We sat down in a Chinese restaurant and had a philosophical conversation about empathy."

Dawn stared at him, slack-jawed. "You're right, I do think that's crazy."

"That's not all." He might as well tell the whole truth. "Do you remember when we found out that Wesley made his way back to Caritas after Illyria tortured him?"

Dawn nodded.

"He didn't get there on his own, I helped him."

Dawn kept staring. For a while neither of them said anything. Finally she spoke. "What?"

"I know, it's weird."

"Xander, Buffy gave us specific instructions to bring Wesley in if we found him."

"I know." Xander leaned back in his seat again, not to dodge a blow, just to get a better look at her. At some point she had stopped being a girl and become a young woman. She had stopped being Buffy's little sister and become Dawn Summers, the watcher. "I couldn't."

"Why?" She asked, incredulous

"He was beaten and bloody. He looked so helpless, and I thought…" No half-truths with her. No vague proclamations about empathy. He cared too much about her. "I could have been him. I could have had the family and the life. If that were me, all I would want is to see them."

Dawn studied him. Her expression certainly wasn't approving, but it wasn't condemning either. "I don't know what to say Xander. You violated a direct order from Buffy."

"I know. But I feel like it was the right thing to do in that situation, at that time."

Dawn shook her head. "I can't agree but… I think it's admirable that you did what you think is right, even if I don't agree with your position."

"Thank you Dawn." Xander said "That means a lot to me."

"And I won't tell Buffy." She said

"I wasn't going to ask." Xander said "So thanks for doing that without me asking."

She shook her head, a smile on her lips. "What am I going to do with you Xander?"

"Love me forever?" He suggested

She laughed. "You're such a screwball." One of these days she was going to realize he was serious. Not today apparently, that was probably a good thing.

…

Faith stood just on the other side of the threshold to Conner's room. The boy was shaking with effort as a transformation tried to take hold of his body. She saw something running under his skin. She took a step back and saw him lift his head to look at her. It wasn't Conner. "Hello sister dear." It said. Its eyes were yellow. Its teeth were sharp marble. "How are you?"

"I'm not your sister." Faith said in her best 'fuck you' voice

"No, but you will be. You are already one of her favorites. She was watching when you mutilated your next daddy. You run through them like boxes of tampons." Faith stepped further back. "She was watching and laughing. She knows the truth about you. She knows what you really want from these men. She knows you don't want paternal love or tender care. You want to roll around in the dirt. You needn't worry, you are the dirt. You are the filth. You are the muck."

"Shut. Up." She clenched her fists. "You don't know anything about me."

"Conner does. I told him all the things you want to do with his father. He's disgusted by you. He thinks you're a diseased whore." The yellow thing grinned. "He knows."

Faith ran away. She couldn't stay. She couldn't go upstairs. She headed for the sewer access. She opened the grate and dropped into the muck. She thought about how fitting it was.

…

Buffy stood on the balcony. Willow opened the sliding glass door and walked to stand next to her best friend. "Faith has left the building. She's underground."

"The sewers?"

Willow nodded confirmation.

"We'll take Kennedy. It shouldn't take long to track her and put her down."

"Right, Buffy,"

"Yeah," Buffy stared at the steel and glass jungle.

"What happened before, I… do you want me to do that again?" Willow asked

"If it's necessary. It shouldn't be. Kennedy and I should be able to do it." Buffy said

"Right, it's just that I… that was hard before. I didn't like it. I don't like using this power to hurt people. I know it's different, I know she's carrying the demon, but we know her."

"We all have to do things we don't like." Buffy said

"I know." Willow said "But I felt the killing power in my hands and it reminded me of what happened to me before. I felt like I did when I killed Warren." Each word was pronounced with great effort. Willow tried not to hesitate or stumble on any of them this time, but each word was shoved out violently, as it clung to her lips, wanting to stay in her mind where it was safe.

"I'm prepared to kill Angel if I have to, so you damn sure better be prepared to kill Faith." Buffy pushed away from the balcony and headed inside before Willow could respond.

…

Faith ran when she felt like it, and walked when she didn't. She lost track of where she was fairly quickly, but wasn't too concerned. She liked the darkness down here and found her thoughts fading away. Everything dropped away and she felt peaceful. Everything was great until she saw the movements in the darkness. She stopped, using her slayer senses to listen for the tell-tale sound of feet splashing through shallow water. Whoever was down here with her was fast and sneaky. The person was also very light, a child or a slight woman. She heard the figure scamper away. Faith ran after it on impulse. The figure picked up speed. Faith felt a rush as she pursued her target. The person tried to turn down an offshoot of the tunnel they were on, but Faith reached out and grabbed the person's neck. She slammed the figure against the wall.

The woman, it was a woman, clicked on a flashlight and shined in in Faith's eyes. "Hi, I'm Jersey. What's up?"

…

"Did you check the supply room?" Angel asked

"Yes," Gunn was now officially annoyed "We checked everywhere. The supply room falls under everywhere right? She's not in the building. She's gone."

"Why would she go?" Anne asked "She knows it isn't safe out there."

"We shouldn't have left her alone." Wesley said "Not after what happened."

"She said she wanted to be alone." Fred said

The occupants of Caritas were standing on the club floor. Fred was holding her baby close to her and the nine people were sharing concerned looks. Except for Harmony, she didn't look that concerned. "We need to look for her." Angel said "Spike, you and Harmony should check the sewers if you don't you know- mind doing that."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Come on Harm." They left.

"Lorne you and Teresa know this city better, or I'm assuming you do because you live here. Lorne you're with me. Teresa you go with Gunn." Angel said

"I'm not staying here." Wesley said

"Yes you are." Angel and Fred said at almost the same time.

"I'm not just going to sit around and do nothing." Wesley protested

"You're still recovering from getting tortured half to death, you're staying here." Angel said "I'm not even having this conversation with you." He turned to Gunn. "Let's go."

"You can't make me stay here." Wesley said

"Don't be childish." Fred said "He could knock you down with one good push, but he won't because you'll tear out all of your stitches and it'd be cruel. You're staying here."

Wesley frowned, but didn't respond.

…

Faith dropped Jersey, white spots swimming in her vision from where the light had shined into her corneas. "What kind of name is Jersey?" She asked the woman.

"What kind of name is Faith?" Jersey asked

Faith scowled at the woman. "How do you know my name?"

"You're in the upper echelon of the slayer hierarchy. Well you were before you were excommunicated. I may be out of the club, but I still read the newsletter."

Of course, this woman was a slayer. "Why are you down here?"

"I could ask you the same question." Jersey said

"But I asked you first." Faith said

"What are you five?" Jersey shone her light around the tunnel.

"Just answer the question." Faith snapped

"Sheesh, short temper much? I'm going to see my dad."

"And you have to use the sewers to do this because…"

"There's this thing with a vampire promising to kill me if I ever showed my face in the city again, and me not being allowed to kill him without getting on the council's hit list, and it's a whole big thing. Trust me, long story, not terribly interesting." Jersey smiled at Faith.

"So you're hiding from a vampire in the one place a vampire can move around during the daytime? In what inane universe does that make sense?" Faith asked

The smile slipped from Jersey's lips. "I said it was a long story."

"I'm sure, wait a vampire the council is protecting?"

"I know." Jersey said "Fucked up."

"Is it Spike?" Faith asked

"Yeah, how'd you know? Did he do something evil?" Jersey got very excited with this last question, shifting her weight on and off the balls of her feet.

"No, he's letting me stay at his place while a psycho hunts me down and tries to kill me."

"Oh," Jersey sounded extremely disappointed. "Well that's nice I guess."

"Yeah I guess," Faith said sarcastically

"I beg to differ." A familiar voice rang out in the tunnel. Faith directed her attention to the source of the sound. A yellow light came from Willow's hands, lighting up Buffy and Kennedy on either side of her. Buffy had a vicious look on her face, the look of a hunter.

Faith swore.

"Language," Buffy admonished

"Fuck you Buffy." Faith said

"Wait up." Jersey said "Is she the one who wants to kill you?"

"Shut up and get lost Eileen." Buffy said

Jersey sighed. "Now I have to stab you." She sounded really put out about it.

…

Spike was following a weak sent trail when the trail became redundant. He and Harmony both heard the sounds of a knock-down drag-out fight further down the tunnel. "Oh the sound of slayer violence, I know it well. Come one Harm." He started toward the skirmish.

"See but the whole slayer vampire thing is-"

"Harmony!"

"Coming," Harmony ran after Spike.

When they arrived at the site of the fight they saw Faith and Buffy going at it no holds barred. Kennedy was fighting a woman Spike never thought he would see again. "Jersey?"

Willow stood in the background. Spike knew she could take them all out if she wanted to, but for some reason she wasn't. Maybe it was too dangerous in such close quarters. "It looks like she has it covered." Harmony said "Let's go home and wait for her there."

"You take Kennedy, I'm on Buffy."

"What else is new?" Harmony muttered

Buffy was doing a number on Faith. Faith's injured hands and emotional distress put her at a severe disadvantage to the fit and able Buffy. Faith was having a hard time just holding her off. On the other hand Jersey was doing pretty well against Kennedy. Kennedy was one of the council's most accomplished slayers, said to be second only to Buffy and Faith, so the fact that Jersey could even hold her own was pretty impressive and the fact that they were almost evenly matched with Kennedy having the slight advantage was even more so. Harmony grabbed Kennedy while she was off-balance from a well-timed blow from Jersey. Harmony flipped the slayer, who managed to land on her feet, but who was vulnerable to a severe blow to the kidney courtesy of Jersey. Kennedy stumbled and Harmony hit her in the neck. Jersey tossed Kennedy and this time the woman hit the ground. She tried to rise, but Jersey got on top of her, planting her knee on the other slayer's chest and holding her wrists. Kennedy struggled against Jersey's full weight (which wasn't a lot) being pressed against her breastbone, making breathing a chore.

Meanwhile Spike was lending Faith a hand. Buffy was good, but a team comprised of (an admittedly injured) Faith and one of the most powerful vampires in the world was a little much for even her to handle. "Willow I could use a hand!" She called out "Any time!"

Willow raised her hands to say a spell. "Get the witch!" Jersey said

Harmony rushed over to Willow and tackled her. Willow could have easily defended herself, but her reaction time was too slow. She felt Harmony's vampire strength bring her fist against Willow's cheekbone. Willow lay on the ground, declining to use magic to free herself.

Spike landed a well-timed jab to the throat at the same time that Faith kicked Buffy in the gut. "Let's go." Spike said "That's the best lead we're going to get." The slayer and vampire ran off. Jersey and Harmony were close behind. "I seem to recall saying I'd kill you the next time you came to New York." Spike said as he led them down the tunnels "Just my imagination?"

"No I was there too." Jersey said "That definitely happened."

…

"Harmony! Fucking Harmony! What are you a third grader who found a spell book lying around and thought hey let's try it out for a lark? You got taken out by HARMONY!"

They were all gathered in the hotel suite, listening to Buffy's fury. "While your girlfriend and I were risking our necks fighting a dangerous enemy, you were getting tackled by the ditsiest bitch to ever die in the history of Sunnydale High! How does that even happen?!"

"Buffy," Giles tried to interject

"No," Buffy said "No Buffy, no let's take a moment; I want an explanation."

Willow swallowed. "I'm sorry." She said "I couldn't do it."

"Why not?" Dawn asked

"I just couldn't. I couldn't use my power like that, not again."

"Fricken brilliant," Buffy said "I'm going for a walk." She stormed out of the room.

Willow flinched when she heard the door slam. Kennedy looked at Willow. She wanted to say something comforting, but she still felt the bruise from where Jersey had pinned her. No comforting words came to mind. Xander stood from his seat and approached Willow. "You did the right thing. It's not worth losing you, we can find another way."

"No," Robin said "She didn't do the right thing."

When they'd discussed the possibility of having to kill Conner or Faith before they'd went to Caritas and been rebuffed by the sanctorum spell Robin had neither spoken for nor against the measure. Now he spoke his mind. "We have to protect the world. Faith needs to die."

"We all agreed to that." Dawn said "That's not what we're discussing."

"Yes it is. I loved Faith, and I still love her. She doesn't deserve this, but she still has to die. We have to make these hard choices, we have to follow Buffy without question, because otherwise the world is doomed. If Faith lives, the world dies, and Willow, preventing that is worth losing you over. I'm sorry." He let the words lie there, marinating in their heads.

"We might not have another opportunity like this." Giles said "We may have to create one if we wish to confront her again."

Willow closed her eyes. She felt guilt and shame run through her. How could she redeem herself? "We have to find a way to disable the sanctorum spell." She said

"Can you do that?" Giles asked

"I can try."

…

"Conner, Conner," Conner felt hands shaking him. He opened his eyes and felt a wave of relief wash over him. They were his eyes. Wesley was shaking him. "Are you all right?"

Conner blinked. Anne was there too. She was holding an ice pack. She knelt down and placed it against his forehead. "You were crying out." She told him "Do you remember?"

He nodded. "A little, she was here."

"The Wolf?" Wesley asked

Conner nodded again. The cold ice felt so good. "They were talking."

"Who?" Wesley asked

"She said evil things. I feel bad about it."

"Conner what are you talking about?" Wesley asked

Anne kept the cold ice pack pressed against his forehead. Conner felt soothed, and wanted to go to sleep. It was strange that the Wolf would let him sleep. She always wanted him awake, weakening. But now she would let him rest. Something was wrong. "Faith,"

"The Wolf was talking to Faith?"

Conner was even sleepier now. It was important to finish. "It told her…"

Wesley looked down at the sleeping boy and resisted the urge to rouse him. Conner needed this sleep and besides, Wesley was pretty sure he knew what had happened. Anne continued to hold the icepack to Conner's feverish brow. Wesley heard a commotion and headed over to the sewer access. Spike, Harmony, Faith, and a woman he didn't know emerged.

"Found her!" Harmony said unnecessarily

"Thank God," Wes said "Are you all right?" He asked Faith

"Fine thanks for asking." Spike said sarcastically

"I'm okay." Faith said

"Good," Said Wesley "Are you insane?!"

"Somebody's in trouble." Jersey said in a sing-song voice

Harmony giggled. "I bet daddy's going to ground her."

Something flashed in Faith's eyes. She whirled to face Harmony. "Shut up!" Her fists were clenched and her tense body was shaking. "Shut your stupid vampire mouth!"

"She's a vampire too?" Jersey asked "You people," She said with a shake of the head

Harmony glared at Faith. "Hey I just helped save your life. Maybe a little-"

Spike pulled Harmony away, cutting her off. "Come on pet,"

Faith was still shaking. Wesley walked up to her and put his hand on her shoulder. She stepped back, breaking their connection. "Don't touch me." She warned "It's not safe."

"Not safe for who?" Wesley asked

She shook her head. "It's not safe."

"So who are you?" Wesley asked the strange woman

"I'm Jersey, rogue slayer," She explained "Not like evil rogue, just independent rogue. I don't agree with how the council does things. Plus that Buffy chick just kind of pisses me off."

"Right," Wesley said "And you were in the sewers because…"

"Don't ask." Faith said "It doesn't make sense."

…

Illyria heard the human approach. Illyria was standing in the parking garage of the hotel where the confusing human and his strange friends were staying. The youngest of the humans was the one approaching her. It was the slayer's sister. "Illyria," Dawn said, unsurprised

"You knew I was here?"

"I heard a couple of valets talking about a strange blue woman in the parking garage."

"So you came alone to speak to me. That was very foolish."

"You're a wild card. You could do anything." Dawn explained "I don't like wild cards."

"So you do not like me." Illyria stated "Should I care?"

"I just want to understand you." Dawn said "That's all."

"I do not even understand myself." Illyria said "How can you hope to?"

"Is that what you want?" Dawn asked "To understand yourself?"

Illyria considered this. "More than anything." Her voice carried none of the emotions she felt when saying those words. It had neither the fear nor the longing. It was missing the passion.

But Dawn seemed to understand anyway. "What would you do to achieve this understanding?" Dawn asked "What would you give in exchange for help in finding it?"

Illyria frowned. "I tire of being used by those who think they can leash the god-king."

"That's not what I want to do." Dawn said "I only desire that there should be payment for services rendered. Is that not just? If we were to enter into a contract, would that not be fair?"

Illyria examined the frail human. "I could snap you into kindling for the immortal fire."

Dawn showed no trace of fear. "What would that gain you?"

"I do not know. There was a time when the blood of my enemy on my lips was all the satisfaction I required. I had a throne built for me of the bones of kings I had laid down. I sat on this throne and looked over all the world. It was my domain. Now I do not know if even that would satisfy me. I held in my hands a weak man, a man who had betrayed me. I should have snapped his neck. I let him live. I wish to know why I did this. I wish to find my…"

"Your place?" Dawn asked

Illyria nodded.

"I will help you, but you must do something for me in return."

…

Spike scowled when the Englishman and the two slayers entered the bar. "I thought you would have the good sense to skedaddle while I was elsewhere." He told Jersey

"As my father constantly reminds me, I am devoid of good sense."

Faith flinched at the word father, but only Wesley noticed. "Well get lost." Spike said

"But things were just getting interesting." Jersey said "I have to know the story."

"It isn't a story." Wesley said "This is our lives."

Teresa walked up and grinned. "I remember you." She said "The shiny lady,"

"What?" Jersey asked "I'm pretty sure we've never met. I'd remember."

"We're meeting now." Teresa said "I remember your future, you were shiny."

Spike sighed. "Please tell me this doesn't mean the bitch who tried to kill me is going to stick around."


End file.
